success?

hmm. i tink in terms of a SW-er evaluation i would haf failed jus nw? e silence jus nw was a sign tt e engagement is lost? e client feels tt i did not provide sufficient empathetic response? tt judgement was being made? tt i was preaching? or simple a very positive one - my sis's "learning does not take place immediately"?

i wasn't trying to fu1 yan or anything. i said it in a norm way tt i would normally haf engaged. jus tt perhaps it sounds more jarring this time round? didn't evaluate e circumstances well b4 i made decisions izzit? i really do not wan to treat everyone ard me like a client.. actually tt is e RIGHT way of helping n intervention.. bt if i were to treat each n everyone like a client n treat them as guinea pigs.. nt v nice huh? hahaha. maybe i can evaluate my each intervention process as if it was a proper session instead? haha. in future wen i'm so skilled at it.. den i will b able to help everyone professionally!:P hehe.

yep.. life can really b simple isn't it? perhaps i didn't start where the client was this time round. i explained frm my POV..

actually i m a think-alot n easily emo person too. jus like today's shopping trip. e smallest thing could trigger off negative emotions. jus tt these emotions lai de kuai. qu de ye kuai.. n i guess my outlook in life is still pretty positive?

who says tt having a negative outlook is wrong? perhaps these ppl are better equipped to face failures/challenges and are more resilient in face of problems?

bt for me. i really think tt life can b v simple. perhaps i'm still being naive and unexposed to e real worlds ba. bt more often than not, it's us who are thinking too much and reading too much isn't it? if we noe we've this prob, den we shld lower e stakes of our actions and behaviour? by tt i mean learn to b more ready to accept times wen it's really us who are thinking too much. n if we aren't thinking too much and tt's indeed the reality, shldn't we haf been worrying and thus able to accept that alr?

i dunno. i tink afterall all these are still theories. i need to b in them to really see if i can practise wat i preach. bt wat i m trying to do is really nt to preach. i do nt think tt i haf more life experiences than e ppl ard me. jus tt sometimes my viewpoint might prove to be a refreshing and helpful one.. n i cannot take it wen my silence is condoning others' thinking into areas which i think are not that positive.. as in nt tt i wan to manipulate ppl to tink in a positive manner. bt if i do not agree w someone, i cannot allow myself to jus agree blindly. i mus speak up. it's either i jus remain silent or i voice my opinions.

social work process is supposed to be an unsettling one, isn't it?

haha. i'm using SW as an excuse wen i need it and rejecting it wen i dun wanna use it..

hmm. seems like i really pissed my client off..

maybe e disengagement didn't come becoz of my viewpoint/preaching or wat so ever. perhaps jus e simple feeling of "i do not understand".. am i repeating e same mistake as in fy's situation? bt i did not force my opinion on others this time round. it's jus tt i've really heard this stance so often directly/indirectly tt i tink i need to speak up.. so tt i bring across e point of trying to see strengths and not always victims in oneself..

yep. haiz.. maybe i really do not understand ba. after tt incident. i've given up on believing in me being able to find someone who will really understand me. coz i feel tt for someone to really understand me. tt person really has to noe everything bout me. including things which i'm unwilling to reveal.. n in e fear tt e person might nt b able to accept me for all tt i m.. i would choose nt to disclose = ppl will nv fully understand me.

of coz i constantly remind myself tt this isn't an excuse for me to nt try to understand ppl.

haiz. i really dunno. to b truthful. okay. i shall say everything here. if u're nt ready to noe e truth bout me, do not read on(if this blog shld ever b read by someone whom i noe)

i'm in a pretty good mood.. i really am enjoying e photos tt dajie posted.. looking at e past. how cute doedoe they all are.. how cute we were.. n tryin to imagine how all my seniors/cousins/siblings' childhood and early days were like.. it's nt tt i'm nt willing to listen.. bt i need engagement too. n i need some positive energy.. i hear e complaints.. i get e feeling tt u're reading too much into ur plight.. it's nt tt u're nt in a terrible situation. bt even in a terrible situation, i believe there'll b sth positive tt can come out of it? n honestly, i'm pretty afraid of ppl's attitudes which are totally negative.. reads nothing positive out of life. is life really so miserable? (haiz. i guess i better dun post. dun wanna suffer any negative consequences) rahh!

n den i dun wan to fu yan, so i gave my comments. i got no response so i went on. den silence. den comes e perceived anger/displeasure/disappointment. n i hate tt feeling. wat wrong did i do? i tried to provide a listening ear.. or perhaps i wasn't sincere enuff? tt's why it was being sensed and tt resulted in e anger? i dunno.

n i hate this part e most! tt after analysing everything.. i realise tt it seems like i'm at fault. AGAIN! haiz!:(

i mean everyone has his/her probs.. i've difficulties in sch too. i face things like wat i would describe as betrayal if i were to exaggerate it.. i face things like lack of attention frm ppl around me whom i need. i face things like cui tuition sessions.. i face things like dilemmas as to whether to go for exchange or not. i face things like anticipating a great shopping sessions and ending up in disappointment and not buying anything and still having to lie to my mum to avoid hearing nagging frm her.

n tt comes e "again" feeling.. tt i actually still haf a pretty good life. i aren't as jiatlat and cham as e others.. bt still. does it mean tt i've no probs? do i've my outlet? no. maybe is coz of my own choice. coz i fear tt ppl will judge me. n i shldn't complain coz i still haf e ability to regulate my own emotions..

n well. tho i can't really like victimise myself. haha. i actually feel happy tt i m able to regulate my own emotions. tt i'm jus blessed w this inherent positivity tt actually nothing seems too big to surmount. maybe i haven't reach tt failure/cuo4 zhe yet ba.. bt at least till nw. tho i always emo..i m nt a v emo person lo..

haiz.. dunno. frustration.. i hate this.. if i go to slp n do not listen. i feel guilty. n wen i do listen.. i feel uncomfortable if i dun speak my mind. n if i speak my mind. this is wat i get. den still haf to sit here and reprimand myself den find excuses for myself. n blog n blog n blog. for wat? nothing. haiz..

perhaps this isn't a certain(prob = 100%) event tt i've to sit here n whine shld i listen.. as in listening can breed positive results too de.. jus tt i still dun haf tt love n care and concern ba.. jus admit it la..

it's an effort tt i've to make. n of coz wen u aren't in e mood. u wun feel like making e effort. jus like sometimes skyping w my fellow OC-ians is an effort.. jus like watching soccer is an effort. jus like wat i told fy tt time at bugis. to b able to listen willingly and interestedly, it really boils down to e word:

love.

which wasn't so strong for certain ppl.. n if they're nw taking e effort to love me, they need to give me time to learn how to love them too. it's easy to tell urself to do it, to do it.. bt if it doesn't come out frm e heart, it'll always b an effort.. n i did my part alr didn't i? bt it's still too little rite?

haiz.

tt's why my conclusion is only a:

haiz..

coz i hate to blame everything on me. coz i hate to b blamed wen i can't give a proper argument for fear of hurting others shld they see this blog.. perhaps tt's why it always end up being my mistake izzit? nt saying i'm blaming myself too much. bt perhaps it isn't only my responsibility? hmm.

haiz. i'm far frm being ideal. i noe my mistakes. bt i wan(perhaps nt a need) time to be able to overcome my mistakes...

rahh. n i tink of e possibly demise of ppl ard me. how fragile they are.. n tt leaves me w no time to learn hw to love. n w tt possible threat ard, no matter hw i argue, i'm actually still nt gng to win e debate = i've to learn it right now... i can't argue bout reciprocity.. n other stuff. no i can't.. bt yet. i still am taking e demise as an unlikely event.. tt's why i'm nt learning it immediately..

haiz..

rah..

kheng.
28.01.11
haiz.

:(

:(

E shoppin trip didn't turn out as well as expected!:( didn't buy anythin!:( nw really dun haf anythin to wear for cny!:(

Far east really nothin suitable for me to buy. At first wanted to walk ard orchard le bt in e end only stayed in far east. Haiz. I dun wan to go shoppin alone.like so loner. N need opinions la.

Bt i m v choosy bout my shoppin companion too. Coz there r many clothes tt r nice n i like bt i can't fit in. So i really need v tolerant, understandin n non-judgemental frens/family members. N encouragin.

Haiz. Dun wanna emo de. Bt wen e aimless, i noe i wun find anythin feelin comes.... Haiz. Bt it's ok! Tmr wen i go in search of mama's present. Shall search for my own clothes as well! Yep!

N see hw. Dun tink will really b stranded w no new clothes to wear! Haha. At most anyhow zham! Haha.

Ya la. Bt quite sian. Haha.

Kheng.
27.01.11
Status: really wanted to buy new new clothes de.. Haiz:(

inspiration. ?

hmm. tt's why i stand by my principle not to put any frens' photos as my DP. haha. some really v nice. like e ones we took tt day wen we went to celebrate mama king's b-dae. bt i'm nt puttin them up. haha. stalker is diff - tt's at e beginning.. n stalker is diff. most of my closest frens dunno who she is. n she's jus a diff kind of fren frm e rest. so are vivien, wenxin they all. yep!(:

anw jus nw felt quite sad. dunno why one is so hostile. or rather jus not warm. n e other jus refuse to help. maybe it's coz it involves human relations.. or maybe jus wanna to learn to speak up for myself, take responsibility for my own actions. i noe it's my own business. i'm nt entitled to feel pissed off or anything. it's nv an exchange of conditions. bt why can't help be given? bt it's ok! i'll speak up for myself.

anw was thinkin to myself. whether m i being like e 1. expecting e entire world to b nice to me? n for me myself, m i taking for granted e kindness? will i be naive after mixing in e world of social work grads/lecturers and den field? hmm.

yep. bt anw. didn't feel like doing anythin. so started to play my harbor master on iphone.. bt not v smooth. n dunno why jus nw. suddenly feel e inspiration to do sth.. to get down to my work n stuff.. haiz.. havin tt emo, wanna cry feel again! haiz. v v long nv haf tt feeling le. once in a while need to release my emotions. haha. my dear yitong has given "approval" coz she said it's fine! haha.

yep.. n it really does bring about surprises wen u plug in ur mp3 to listen to some music! coz all e usually i wun listen to songs will come out.. coz my comp doesn't haf all e songs my mp3 stores. yep..

heard e song "stand by me".. emo n nice! haha.

n omg. heard "yesterday once more" again.. e thing is e lyrics aren't emo.. so can't really fit it in into my situation to get some feel. bt listening to the 前奏 is like... omg! like relieving(spelt this way?) e past memories. heard this song frm e show 甜言蜜语. n in e show it was also used as a sound track. so u can always hear e song/its qian zou.. n dunno why this song. it jus attracts me so much. bt only e qian zou.. haha.

i mean...

yes. i only love e qian zou. i realise e song doesn't capture my attention half-way thru e song. bt e qian zou jus gives me e super emo n melt feeling! hahaha. yep.. i rmb there's this time wen i was mp3. n i plugged in e mp3 real deep. as in e earplugs real deep into my ears. n e music was like surrounding me. forming a wall around me.. separate me frm e outside world. n i heard this song in tt "context".. n omg. e qian zou melted me once again. tt's quite some time after i dl e song. n usually a song doesn't keep me enticed after some time.. so tt's like re-finding e feeling of being touched. yep.

n of coz. still hoping tt one day, i will chance upon tt "musical pendant".. w this song.. haha.

yep. n it's like jus nw shulin turned on e tv to watch 仁心解码. n it's e last ep.n seeing e simplicity of e love and friendship in e show. they touching me once again. n so coincidental tt i hear this song again. coz both shows were acted by xu zi shan. n in both shows. it's also like a coincidence? tt she's handicapped in some way in both shows.. n e strength, e need for protection and e willingness to sacrifice spirit in her in both shows were so similar and touched me in this super interesting way.. like i've shared in my public blog. she has a slut face.. n maybe she's pretty scheming in real life? bt i jus like her. as in nt tt i like sluts.. bt somehow i will feel like watching her shows. bt of coz there's also this possibility tt she is a v nice person! bt yep.. my point is i rarely like ppl who dun haf e guan zhong yuan look. hehehe. yep.

ok! many things to write.. bt jus like yest. it's e feeling of i've many things to share(for yest).. bt now. is many things to whine. bt decided not to. coz i'm in this emo state. so if i were to blog. i'll definitely whine n whine n whine.. n i believe a bath shld do e job! of "refreshing". haha. put e " " coz was thinking of refreshing in e one tt is used wen referring to "refreshing a webpage". hehe. yep. bt has double meanin eh?:P hehe. yep(:

frens.

kheng(:
22.01.11
status: feels like k-ing! n e first i thot of.. is part of e source of my whines.

oops!

oops. jus had a short chat w ancestor! wen we were having a YHD conference call, norine n i didn't realise ancestor wasn't using headphones = her cousins could hear wat we were saying.. n e 2 of us were saying why her cousin wan to use comp.. shld let ancestor use.... omg! feel super paiseh..

we feel bad. we scared later her cousins feel worse. n ancestor feels the worst! hahaha. hopefully wun la hor! as in i m pretty afraid tt they might b offended also! haiyo. bt i apologised to ancestor le. n told her if her cousins angry, apologise on our behalf. hehe. bt maybe they wun say it out bt will feel offended.. n if think along this line, nxt time they see us, they'll dislike us! haha..

bt well. wat's been said has been said and cannot be undone.. so kan zhe ban. to go n apologise to them wen we see them/find their fb n apologise n do all these is really making a big hoo-ha.. tho we were in e wrong n tho i do noe tt u shld apologise after u've made a mistake, bt it jus seems a little exaggerating to b doing it! haha. bt anw i m willing to jus forsake my image.. hehe.

yep.. n i tink i lose faith pretty easily. jus nw wen i was brushing my teeth. suddenly a crazy thot: maybe i shld call my daughter Faith! it sounds like a pretty nice/sweet name anyway! hahaha.

yep. n had a nice long chat w norine jus nw! hehe. told her bout e "you dun understand" incident! haha. n as i talked n realised how i am ok wen i m w "dang1 shi4 ren".. starting to tink tt maybe i shld really jus fang xia.. haha. i mean.. really for tt sentence forsake e friendship ah? of coz can b saying this coz alr can let go a bit liao.. if it's back to tt time wen i heard it.. really pretty impossible! hahaha.

yep.. at least i mentioned her in e list of ppl i told norine k! hahaha.

n perhaps certain things is really jus Fate.. nt i say can let go jiu ke yi let go de! if so. my list probably wun haf anyone on it now! haha.

nw got new terminology in my dictionary le! haha. n wen i use e word "list". i tink of "schindler's list!". haha. jus did my research n noe i nw wat tt list refers to! hahaha. tink learnt it b4 in sec sch. bt forgot bout it! hahaha.

maybe i shld call tt list schindler's list rite?:P hehe. or faith list? haha. not nice! hahaha. tink again! supposed to keep this short n sweet coz i m supposed to go slp le!

after crazy sleeping hours for days.. finally feel e fatigue! must slp soon! hehe. yep..

k la. tt's bout it! e main point was bout e "losing faith easily" thingy. bt shalln't go on further..

n jus a thot. it's e truth wen norine n i said tt we tink ancestor's cousins shld nt b "snatching" to use ancestor's comp.. bt why wen we realised tt her cousins could hear, we felt so bad n tried to cover it up? hmm. wasn't it e truth?

do we really meant it as a joke? or we were being insensitive wen we said tt. bt if this is e case, it means being sensitive/sensible = lying! rite? ok la. this is being v extreme. bt doesn't this mean tt being sensitive = having to hide certain stuff. n maybe i shldn't deem ourselves as being insensitive. we jus didn't expect tt there'll b someone else in e room - thus spoke e truth..

bt anw.. jus try to b more careful wen i speak in future! this kind of things haf to learn by e hard way de. it's either u see someone make e mistake. or u make e mistake urself. or u've e experience b4. if nt for norine - always haf a room by herself; I - always try to skype in a as private context as possible person, how would we think of someone else being in e room? ok la. maybe we do n will. bt we really didn't expect it jus nw! hehe. yep.

n oh yeah. e chat w norine jus nw. i mentioned sth which she didn't seem to catch my stand. bt perhaps it's a good thing. coz i shldn't b feeling in this way. so it is perhaps better tt she didn't catch it. so tt i can still change n only haf to be responsible to myself! yep. mus change, coz cannot betray ppl! i would b so upset if e person was me! kheng!

yep yep. k shld really stop. blogged almost all e main points i wanted to le!(: haha.

kheng(:
16.01.11
learn to keep faith!

♥

hmm. a belated post. bt one tt was definitely worth e delay. yest was so tired coz was whatsapp-ing kaka n discussin whether she shld go for her exchange anot.. so it kinda delayed my bloggin on e public blog. 1 post for each! ancestor e last. yep.

n i did tink of coming here to post bt realised my brain was kinda dead..

i actually had a lot of difficulty writing ancestor's letter. coz of e format of e letter.was so limited by e aim of tryin to finish writing a message in each box!:S n actually wen i read her card, i realised tt if it flowed, it would haf been so much better than making e card special n "fun"! bt well. i was kinda lucky n blessed! coz she said she will read them only wen she's left alone(if she can wait till then!)

haha. yep.. supposed to slp early. bt didn't in e end. n was kinda like wai1 da zheng zhao.. coz managed to catch ancestor on skype! haha. was still lingering around after i was done w all e fb photos n stuff. felt like re-visiting all e oc photos!

n was bloggin. bout to end off. n there came ancestor's call! n omg! was a little teary alr. n e call came! haha. bt i managed to hold them back!

haha. n i was ok w seeing ancestor! nothing much. bt jus felt a little teary.. n wanted to talk bout yest.. bt decided not to.. partly coz we aren't in front of each other. so i cry, it wun b like at e airport. we can be crying tgt. bt will jus b diff frm at e airport. definitely nt tt crying at e airport was meant for others to see la. bt somehow it's jus diff.. coz she jus isn't here w me! haha. no hands to hold, no ancestor to hug!

yep. i jus felt tt everythin was v incomplete. my letter was cui. we didn't haf proper time to talk/to take photos yest. e hug was good. bt i jus felt tt i didn't do enuff. it was jus tt kind of i felt tt i hadn't cried enuff for ancestor kind of feeling! haha. coz of norine tan, i cried so much for her. bt it's really diff.. coz tt time i really feared tt i wun see norine so often n talk to her so regularly. bt nw i noe ancestor sure can talk to me regularly n stuff de..

bt i jus felt tt it wasn't enuff. i dunno how to let her noe tt i really love her alot! it is like yest wen i was bloggin. i kept erasing things.. coz i'm afraid tt i will contradict myself. coz wen karen flew off, i alr knew tt we can kept in regular contact coz of norine! jus like ancestor, bt my tears still rolled down yest! n as i try to hide.. n i start to say things tt i started to believe in. until i dunno which is e truth. so i erased them away.. coz i didn't wan to like lie..

n it's like kaka's one was e first. bt tt day really cuo shou bu ji.. n everything done tt day came so smooth. e letter.. e sms after she boarded. coz it's e "it's 6years" fear.. so strongly tt i did everythin out of instinct.. bt diff for ancestor, coz this time round, e only diff is really jus tt we aren't by each other's side physically. nothing else really will change.

so i also was v lost. i dunno wat to write in e letter, i dunno wat to type in e sms.. coz i really dunno wat to say. i wanted e truest feeling. bt they amounted to nothing touching tt i could write. it's like wen i sent norine e last few sms-es.. i really felt for every single word i typed. yest no.. n wen i was back home. same..

it's only those few moments. wen i cried so hard wen ancestor tried to say stuff after we hugged each other.. wen i started reading e letter. n wen i wrote my message for her at e end of e post.. wen i really felt something.. n also dunno wat word to use. ironic? funny? bt anw, it's ____ tt those few moments were really like e super super extreme type. e moment wen she tried to say e last few sentences at me at e airport. e tears tt ran down were exactly like those at norine's farewell. equally bad. equally uncontrollable.. n i really do mean it tt wen e tears suddenly rolled down so uncontrollably. e only explanation i thot of was bond.

yep. so jus nw wen ancestor came up. i really wanted to tell her thanks for e tears yest.. i mean i dunno how to show my appreciation.. i'm really very grateful.. coz i only saw her crying super hard wen she's on e phone. wen she's like tearing like mad. i knew tt's tingsoon on the line. n e other person whom she cried for, so hard was me. (of coz if norine was around, i knew tt would b e case).. bt i was so glad tt among e ppl there at e airport, i was e one.

i m not like expressing gratitude like wen ppl give u a gift.. it's nt tt kind of ke qi saying thanks.. it's e most heartfelt thanks i can ever say.. it's so touching.. it really warmed my heart so much tt e only way i can express tt out is by saying thanks..

yep. i really wanted to tell ancestor tt i really was very very touched at e airport yest.

i wanted to tell her stuff. i jus dunno wat..

bt i didn't la eventually.

i also dunno wat's e reason. i will go explore it n understand myself better! haha. yep.

so i jus smiled(: kept smiling at e camera!

maybe e reason was coz i hoped she could feel wat i wanted to thru my expressions ba. it's like i dunno wat's stoppin me also. bt i jus wanted to send my messages thru e unspoken way. yep!

izzit coz i wan to leave e crying tgt in front of e cam till she starts to read our letters all these in a week's time? i really dunno..

hmm. ya la..haha.

jus got entertained by norine tan! hahaha. i told her bout wat to do shld i die! hahaha. omg. this might sound scary, bt i'm nt suicidal!hahaha.

yep i noe hw to continue this post le.. hehe.

yep. leave things e unspoken way. maybe tt's e reason ba..

bt actually for wat i also dunno. coz there' nth to hide in front of ancestor. n perfectly fine for us to be crying in front of e comp. hahaha. bt i jus chose to talk bout things tt i weren't really concerned bout! haha..

yep. bt i must blog. coz ancestor mus noe tt actually i've a lot to say.. nth in particular. jus a lot. haha. nt many many minute stuff. bt jus a lot... haha. i guess tt's wat i've been feeling wen i was writing her letter ba. wen i was writing e blog post yest too. jus a lot a lot. write wat? i dunno. jus a lot a lot..

yep.

so norine tan, u noe wat is e blog post u mus show jade ng first yeah? wen u need to fulfill ur promise to me! haha.

yep. i keep smiling at e comp. nt coz i've nth to ask, nth to say. haha. my message was simply to tell ancestor tt i miss her alot, bt jus nt thru words or tears. thru e smile! haha. it's a special smile K!

haha. yep.

n towards e end, i really wanted to say sth. bt i still didn't say. n wen we were bout to hang up, jus decided to let tt tears well up.. deliberately trying to not hold them back yet anxious to hang up e call. i jus wanted to leave ancestor w e subtle message tt i do miss her. tt i still wanna skype her. bt i just didn't wan to say it out. nt coz of shy or face reason. jus tink tt i wan e xing you ling xi n e faith! haha. stupid. haha. bt bleh! hahaha.

n e end de i still didn't talk bout yest coz i really tink i shldn't add on to ancestor's upsetness. e subtle tears n all e funny expressions were to let her noe tt i do understand wat she's feeling.. n tt she's really not alone, coz i'm in it w her.. bt i didn't wan to magnify the sadness nor bring it up coz i guess she's still ok jus nw! yep!(:

yep! bt i will send her a letter in e most primitive way. coz i wan to let her noe tt if she wanna cry, it's totally fine! bt i dun wanna make her cry now! once she starts to settle down better, she can cry! coz it'll b a cry n den it's over thing. bt if she keeps crying now.. den it'll take an even longer time for her to be alright! haha. at least if i dun encourage her to cry, she will attempt to hold it back rite? not sure if this is e best thing to do.. bt i'll see hw! hehe

yep. nt emo alr. coz teared. crapped. n somehow e promise tt i made norine tan make to me kinda cheered me up. coz i feel tt e 5 most impt frens whom i always wan to tell them things. tell them more. tell them how impt they are. will b known. to them. 1 day.

provided i die b4 them...

bt if *touchwood* it doesn't happen, i will jus cry n hopefully my dearest frens will b able to hear me n feel me in heaven or wherever they will be at!

yep!

waiting to skype w ancestor everyday.
waiting to skype w norine proper.
waiting to haf a yhd skype.

yep!

♥

kheng(:
"the people worth waiting for;"

hmm. be there.

jus skyped w norine tan. she said, "just b there for her."

hmm. wen i agreed. i agreed w such guilt. coz i dun wanna. not coz tt person is not worth my effort nor coz tt person isn't close to me at all. bt i wanna protect myself. nt sure if tt's avoidance or really protection.. as in not avoid to protect. actually it's..

haiz.. of coz i will b here. bt i wun take step forward.

actually hw can i be like this wen my fren is gng thru such a thing. bt i'm nt e only one. n i've always been ard. bt she doesn't approach me all e time. this does not mean i wun b around. i will still be. bt it's still up to her if she wanna approaches me.

yep. bt if she doesn't. i will jus stay in my comfort zone. no apologies. coz i nv yi qian/bei pan her. i m still here. in fact i will still do e things tt i would haf done. jus tt no longer pushin so hard. n it isn't a bad thing actually wat. it doesn't create her stress.. n it protects me.

yep.

in short,

i m still here.

kheng(:
08.01.11
status: haha. saw e title. feel like making it more chim. just not there.

Damn bad!

Omg! I m so bad! I jus pretended to not noe who is qingli! Haha my sis's fren whatsapp me, thinkin this is still her no. Den i go pretend i dunno who is qingli! Omg! Sinful! Tsk!

Kheng:P
04.01.11
Status: first post of yr 2011 is to confess! Tsk! Haha