Hehe! Feel so much better after tuition! Heheh! I need distractions! Hahaha! After placement, i shall see wat i can do to really continue e rigour i "displayed" during placement! Hehehe! Make full use of 8-5 timin! Hehe! Den i shall see wat i can accomplish in tt 1 mth! Hehehe! Well! Tt feelin of slackin at night after noe-ing u've worked hard e entire day feels awesome! :D hehheh! & e feelin of restin on e wkend after noe-ing u've worked hard for e entire wk is fabulous! Hahahah!
Kheng! :)
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Moody moody
Hmm.. Moody moody.. Tink of placement endin & i'm moody moody! Actualy a little tired & quite sian nw! Thinkin hw m i supposed to clear my work by tmr! I've presentation, den reflections, den e disability project thingy to do! Tmr haf tuition, 130 got meetin, 5-7 gg to play bmt! Omg! How?
I tink i'm jus tired rite? I recall nw tt durin like wk 3 or 4, e sat i also haf this feelin! Coz too tired! Bt hw m i supposed to finish all e work?! Omg!
& i'm so fearin e end of placement! :( really will miss e place, e work, my sup & huiwen a lot! :(:(:( e other intens & colleagues also of coz! :/
Jus e feelin of loss.. :(:(:(
I shld devote all my energy to work rite? 化悲愤为力量！finish all e work by e wkend so tt nxt wk i can focus totally on workin & maximising my learnin, experience & time! Can i? Feel damn down! :(
Kheng...
I tink i'm jus tired rite? I recall nw tt durin like wk 3 or 4, e sat i also haf this feelin! Coz too tired! Bt hw m i supposed to finish all e work?! Omg!
& i'm so fearin e end of placement! :( really will miss e place, e work, my sup & huiwen a lot! :(:(:( e other intens & colleagues also of coz! :/
Jus e feelin of loss.. :(:(:(
I shld devote all my energy to work rite? 化悲愤为力量！finish all e work by e wkend so tt nxt wk i can focus totally on workin & maximising my learnin, experience & time! Can i? Feel damn down! :(
Kheng...
Friday, June 29, 2012
Yawns
A little tired! On my way to meet OC nw! Hehe! I'm ok wen it's friday! Hehe! TGIF! Go for a meetup energises me! Hehe!
Today was.. Hmm.. Morn finished e longstay den went to kaiyi, den she brought me to Ginn to see if she had things for me! Coz i had nth to do liao! Haha! & she had nth for me!
Den i started doin den she realised e longstay still got a lot of things unsettled! Oops! Actually i din noe i was supposed to look at social report, i jus followed & wrote! Oops! Tink i was such a disappointment again! Rahh! Hahah! Dun tink she was disappointed lah. Haha! Bt i tink i really quite cui, simple things also can't do properly! Or rather, i need instructions! If nt will jus b like tt! Bt nw tt i noe wat she wants, i'll do a proper job & churn out good reports! Hehe! This one i'll do my best! Hehe! Bt probably need to go up to e longstay wards to check it out!
Shld b nt gg up to hui en's ward anymore le! Hehe! Will ask to tag along for outpatient nw! Hehe! Jus nw morn was jiat khee, din quite dare to go to her! Hahaha! & had things to do, so i din ask her also! Haha! Nxt wk i'll see hw! Hehe! Depending on e schedule! Will try to churn out my presentation slides by this sun! So tt mon i can focus on cases/do e stuff tt Ginn told me to do! Hehe!
Yeah! Wkend quite burnt out actually! Bt will see hw! Hehe!
Yeah! Quite sian actually! Bt will jus push myself! After tues's ppt, can start to jus do wat i wan & prep for farewell le! Jus tt nxt sat haf tt event thingy! Hehe! Actually nt v motivated to work on it! I'm damn cui! Yest apologised to tb-mate, he replied w a ":)" nt too sure wat tt meant, bt i tink nw, only responsibilities will push me, like at work, i dun tink i shld slack, so i wun! Wun even text! Like studyin i also procrastinate! Do projects i also. Only at work i'll push myself! Hehe! Yeah! & frm nw on, i'll reconsider gg for any commitments! Coz i'm jus nt into such stuff! Hehe! Look at this project & YEC!
Yep! Bt i'm glad this project let me interact w tb-mate more frequently! I tink he din bring his frustration(if there is) w my irresponsibility into our norm interaction! He still treats me well! Haha! & exposure! See hw zai e rest are! Hahahah! & yep, got to interact w jiayi, kwan ki again & noe changlok & letts! Yep! :) bt actually, i'm really nt into it i realised! I jus dun feel super strongly for this area i guess!
Yep! & nt ready for this kind of commitment into an unventured area perhaps? Bt i'm jus plain lazy! & a little tired after work & stuff! Hehehe! & lazy on wkends! :p
Yep! & nxt wk, only tues meet tong if she can reschedule for me! Hehe! Coz i realised i need mon to prep for my ppt! & wed tuition! No more dates! Hehe! Maybe at most YHD? Haha! Need to go home &.... Prep for farewell! Hahahah! This is like e no 1 thing on my head nw! Hehe! Sorry i'm jus like tt! Hehehe!
Yeah! & i kept forgettin bout doin for e other 4 insane ppl also! Hehe! Other than kaiyi & hui en's cards, e Intern cards matter e most to me! Heheh! Yep!
Kk! Gg to meet OC soon! Hehe!
Bt a little disappointed coz sups din sit in for grp sup today! Bt e supervision was fun! Nt lecture style at least! & heheheheh. No role play! :p hehe!
Yep! 1.5 wks left!!
& bout whether to help out for Max's party, actually quite busy! & dun feel like gg early! Bt like v buay steady, bt i tink of them nt attendin my bdae party, i dun tink i'm tt buay steady in comparison! Nt tt i wan to take revenge, i'm jus tinkin whether is there a need for me to go or nt! Yep! & dajie answered like she is e host! & beigu said sth else bt din ans my qn! So nw tinkin whether to go or nt! I dun care wat they tink of me lah actually, coz i've my own judgments too! Jus tt if family, i'll feel bad nt to support! Bt really feel like being selfish! Bt will see hw ltr! Zzz
Actually really is placement 大过天 again! :/ heh! Bt it's really e case! :p heheheh.
Kheng :p
Today was.. Hmm.. Morn finished e longstay den went to kaiyi, den she brought me to Ginn to see if she had things for me! Coz i had nth to do liao! Haha! & she had nth for me!
Den i started doin den she realised e longstay still got a lot of things unsettled! Oops! Actually i din noe i was supposed to look at social report, i jus followed & wrote! Oops! Tink i was such a disappointment again! Rahh! Hahah! Dun tink she was disappointed lah. Haha! Bt i tink i really quite cui, simple things also can't do properly! Or rather, i need instructions! If nt will jus b like tt! Bt nw tt i noe wat she wants, i'll do a proper job & churn out good reports! Hehe! This one i'll do my best! Hehe! Bt probably need to go up to e longstay wards to check it out!
Shld b nt gg up to hui en's ward anymore le! Hehe! Will ask to tag along for outpatient nw! Hehe! Jus nw morn was jiat khee, din quite dare to go to her! Hahaha! & had things to do, so i din ask her also! Haha! Nxt wk i'll see hw! Hehe! Depending on e schedule! Will try to churn out my presentation slides by this sun! So tt mon i can focus on cases/do e stuff tt Ginn told me to do! Hehe!
Yeah! Wkend quite burnt out actually! Bt will see hw! Hehe!
Yeah! Quite sian actually! Bt will jus push myself! After tues's ppt, can start to jus do wat i wan & prep for farewell le! Jus tt nxt sat haf tt event thingy! Hehe! Actually nt v motivated to work on it! I'm damn cui! Yest apologised to tb-mate, he replied w a ":)" nt too sure wat tt meant, bt i tink nw, only responsibilities will push me, like at work, i dun tink i shld slack, so i wun! Wun even text! Like studyin i also procrastinate! Do projects i also. Only at work i'll push myself! Hehe! Yeah! & frm nw on, i'll reconsider gg for any commitments! Coz i'm jus nt into such stuff! Hehe! Look at this project & YEC!
Yep! Bt i'm glad this project let me interact w tb-mate more frequently! I tink he din bring his frustration(if there is) w my irresponsibility into our norm interaction! He still treats me well! Haha! & exposure! See hw zai e rest are! Hahahah! & yep, got to interact w jiayi, kwan ki again & noe changlok & letts! Yep! :) bt actually, i'm really nt into it i realised! I jus dun feel super strongly for this area i guess!
Yep! & nt ready for this kind of commitment into an unventured area perhaps? Bt i'm jus plain lazy! & a little tired after work & stuff! Hehehe! & lazy on wkends! :p
Yep! & nxt wk, only tues meet tong if she can reschedule for me! Hehe! Coz i realised i need mon to prep for my ppt! & wed tuition! No more dates! Hehe! Maybe at most YHD? Haha! Need to go home &.... Prep for farewell! Hahahah! This is like e no 1 thing on my head nw! Hehe! Sorry i'm jus like tt! Hehehe!
Yeah! & i kept forgettin bout doin for e other 4 insane ppl also! Hehe! Other than kaiyi & hui en's cards, e Intern cards matter e most to me! Heheh! Yep!
Kk! Gg to meet OC soon! Hehe!
Bt a little disappointed coz sups din sit in for grp sup today! Bt e supervision was fun! Nt lecture style at least! & heheheheh. No role play! :p hehe!
Yep! 1.5 wks left!!
& bout whether to help out for Max's party, actually quite busy! & dun feel like gg early! Bt like v buay steady, bt i tink of them nt attendin my bdae party, i dun tink i'm tt buay steady in comparison! Nt tt i wan to take revenge, i'm jus tinkin whether is there a need for me to go or nt! Yep! & dajie answered like she is e host! & beigu said sth else bt din ans my qn! So nw tinkin whether to go or nt! I dun care wat they tink of me lah actually, coz i've my own judgments too! Jus tt if family, i'll feel bad nt to support! Bt really feel like being selfish! Bt will see hw ltr! Zzz
Actually really is placement 大过天 again! :/ heh! Bt it's really e case! :p heheheh.
Kheng :p
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Tweet
Lol! I noe i'm pekchek wen i TSK-ed unconsciously & unknowingly! Lol! I tink i'm in this limbo state nw! Tired until nt tired liao! Rawrrr!!!
:)
Ok! E attempted conference call failed! Heheh! & by e time everyone gets on, it'll b time for me to bath! Heh! Bt well, i'll jus blog in e meanwhile den! Hehe!
Anw! Huiwen jus told me tt i was assertive jus nw! Wen we were discussin e cards stuff! Hehe! She said she first time see, a bit scared! Hahaha! Bt is coz she nv see b4! Hahah! Bt i also tink partly coz is marian, so i also nt so soft in my approach!
As i said b4, i'm e "leader" in my uni clique, bt at IMH, i'm e follower! Hehe! Bt i jus tink i shld tone down! Cannot b too mean to marian! Hehehe! So many things to talk bout for today! Hehehe!
Yeah! Tired actually! Coz worked v hard today! Earlier in e morn den drama! Coz woke up late! So went by train method! Hehe! So couldn't nap! Hehe!
Den met juju! Haha! Had quite a fun discussion! She said tt she thinks marian will do well! Hehe! & she said tt marian is good & she expresses it! Whereas nicole is good, jus tt she dun express it as in verbalise it! Bt she's still good! I also agree! Esp frm her grp supervision's performance! Hehe!
Yeah! & there was this reflection bout who is e good one? E one who says it all out? Or e one who stays quiet? Izzit possible tt huiwen, julia or me is actually e one who is really good? Hehe! We nv noe, till we see it! Hehe!
& this brings me to e point! My sup wants me to self-evaluate like again!!! Lol! Jus nw was thinkin bout it! Wun give myself tt A! Even tho i wan it! Coz i tink i'm jus nt there yet! In terms of improvement, def leaps! Bt whether it's big or nt is subjective! Hehe! & coz i started so lousily, i also dunno where i'm like nw! Yep! Bt it's ok! Actually i dun care e grade! I'm only concerned bout wat my sup thinks! Heheh! Like where i stand & stuff! Hehe!
& i guess she wun give me anythin lower than B+ bah? Hahah! No matter wat, my attitude & effort, shld amt to sth bah? Anw, i dun tink i need to b tt hard on myself also! :p hahaha! B+.. Nt too over-estimating myself rite? :p hehe! Maybe i shld go reflect mre first! Haha!
Yep! & i did bring up e grp supervision durin e talk w julia! Coz i wanted to "encourage" her tt she & nicole were e 2 who managed to connect to me a little, nicole more durin e paraphrasin & all! Hehe! & i went on to tell her y i behaved tt way durin grp supervision tt day! Haha! & she told me i shld haf said it earlier! Hehe! Bt i didn't! :p
Den went in! E row call thingy, i tink kaiyi tinks i went ward w hui en, tt's y didn't call me! Hehe! Bt dun care! :p hehe! Of coz i wan to go, i like to b part of e team! Bt kaiyi nv call me, i really wun go! Hehe! I thin-skinned! :p
Yeah! Bt after all e stuff, i did some readin for fri's grp supervision & went toilet to shit! Den came back went to kaiyi, she nt free! & tt's wen i realised she thot i went up ward! She always forgets e meetings w me! Bt it's ok! Hehe! Coz after tt i went to make a p/c, no ans & i went back & read some more! Took our my ji dan gao to eat & she came to ask me to go over! Lol!
So discussed cases. E result was tt i've to make e p/c first.. & nth much liao! Hehe! Den she talked bout h/v! Hehe! Den we talked bout hui en's case & we discussed quite extensively! Hehe! & agreement was i can follow hui en for all e follow-up work! :D
Den yah.. Stopped there! & we discussed bout hw e arrangment will b like! She said she was worried bout e f/u work i had to do! Heeh! She actually said she thinks tt it might b too much for me to keep gg out to see e cases.. Hehe! Den i asked "why?" hahaha! Den she was a little shocked i tink! Bt i asked coz i was curious! Coz i rrally do nth de in office! Hehe! Den she said if i tink i can manage, den can go ahead no prob! Heheh! Hope i wasn't too rude! Bt got her approval to ask o workers to bring me along! Hehe! Yay! Den i'll b more darin to ask nw! :D
& asked bout e longstay thingy. & thot ending there liao.. Haha!
Den she asked "anythin else?" den i said "not really.." hmm... & she asked "hw's last wk? Anythin happened?" & i did e most epic thing ever! I turned ard to see if kim yoong was ard! Den i turned back & look at her "full attendance" of colleagues behind her. & i asked "can we dun talk here? :p" hahahah! Den she went *eyes became bigger* "ooh! Ok! U see if e first room is available?" hahaha! & we went to first room to discuss! HahahN
& i shared w her bout e kim yoong's incident! Heeh! There was a point wen she went "so u felt..." & she gave e "i noe hw u feel" look! & i jus nodded even b4 she said! & i gave de "yah yah!!!!!!" look! Herh! & she "gave up" & asked me hw i felt! Hehe!
She asked me wat would i've done in tt case.. Den i jus thot & said. Den i did tell her wat really disturbs me is nt e diff in practice, bt rather i din get any ans b4 it started, den dunno hw it went, den ended w no debrief! Rahh!
& kaiyi jus said sth like this.. "i m
Unable to tell u why did kim yoong nt ans her qn.. Bt i would like to encourage u to dare to try.. & if e worker thinks differently, he/she will come in & give his/her input.. @ e end of e day, u've to respect their decision, of coz" yeah! I understand! Hehehe!
Yep! Bt wen kaiyi said e "i would like to encourage u.." this tone she use b4! Tink durin first supervision! It's like she understands e constraints bt would still like to try to encourage me.. Hehe! Tt was quite empowerin & encouragin! Hehe!
I feel like sleepin leh.. Bt i feel like bloggin also! Rah!!!
--oops! I woke up late again today! :/ --
Yah.. So kaiyi processed w me e incident! & after tt i was feelin ok! Hehe! Actually i wasn't nt nt ok, tt's why i wasn't sure whether to bring it up or nt! Hehe!
Den she asked "anythin else?" den i tink tink say "no".. Den she asked bout hw's e grp supervision on friday! Hehe! Den i told her bout e role-play part! Hehe! If she din ask, i wun say actually!
Yeah! So i told her tt e role play, i tried to put myself in e pt's shoes coz i tink previously nt real enuff! Haha! Den i became a difficult pt, coz i asked them "shld i die?" hahahah! Den she laughed! Hahahah! Den i said i kept askin! Hahahah! Omg! Damn epic! Hehehe!
Den i got tell her my rationale! Like coz i couldn't feel the impact of their paraphrasin & stuff, hehe! Den i said bt wen nicole & paei sun did it, i could feel it sometimes! & she picked it up & asked "wait! Bt u said u felt it!" den she said tt if they did it well, i shld b able to feel it even if i aren't e pt de! Den i nodded!
& she asked, why didn't i say it? Izzit coz there's some form of competition? I said not competition, bt i dun dare to say. Den she asked y? Scared offend them? Den i said yah.. & i said a little softer bout e part tt cox i'm like so lousy den if i still comment on them, it's like...
& goodness, she said she will go speak to e other supervisors & see if there's a need for re-debrief! She asked who was in e session & i said weiping & paei sun, den siew khim on course, brandon came in halfway & left.. Hehehe! Wonderin if kaiyi was there, would she haf picked it up & asked me why i asked those qn!
Bt actually i did explain myself le! Tho nt under prompting lah, i did it myself! :p hehehe!
-- continuing e post after work --
Yep! & yah lo! I dun tink e dynamics between e 5 of us is so bad tt i actually need my sup to use a formal ocassion to open up e platform for me to share! Bt lol, e truth is, i'm indeed nt speakin mah! Lol! Wat do i wan man! Still in e process of figurin out! Lol! Like esp after today's role play durin systemic trg, actually i also feel v defensive towards feedback, tho i try to do my best to accept it! Nt sure if i did reveal it unconsciously thru my non-verbals! Hehe! & i also lost track of wat e interview shld b on & explred other things!
Yeah! Of coz it shld nt b all avoid & nt give feedback! Hehe! Bt i understand e pain of feedback! Bt actually i wun mind if they give it to me! It's painful bt i wan it! Hehe! Den wat makes me tink tt they dun wan, right? Hmm.. Bt nt sure if they'll discuss this tmr! Shall see hw! Hehe!
Bt anw, kaiyi did ask me why i din talk to her earlier! Yest was wed alr! Hehe! Den i said "coz u busy mah." den she said "yah, i'm busy, i'm always busy, bt u jus haf to come! It's impossible to find a perfect nt busy timing." hehe! Lol! I really
nv do learn my lesson! She told me since wk 2 liao, tt i've to go to her! Bt e thing is i always dunno if certain things r still worth mentionin after some time! So i dun bring it up! Heh! Ok lah, left w like less than 2 wks, if gt things den i'll go to her lo! Haha!
Yeah! Nt tt i dun wan to go, bt i really scared she busy! Hehe!
Bt yep! After e supervision, so happy! 3rd time feelin so empowered/encouraged/process-ed after supervision! E right word shld b "attended to"! Hehehe!
& tt's morning! After tt did follow up on e p/c. Den afternoon went out to see cases quite early? I got STM! Cannot recall! Rahh!!
Yah! 230! I went to make p/c, den she went out to room 10. So i went after her. She asked marian to pass msg to me! Hee! & went out w brandon & marian. & heard hw brandon prepared marian. Really super hand-holdin kind! I would say this is damn awesome! Bt actually, after being under kaiyi for e past 8 wks, i would say my style kinda adapted! I tink kaiyi's method of lettin me sink. I survived it! & i tink i learnt things e uncomfortable way! Heeh! & it was quite a big challenge & i would say breakthrough! Hehe! Bt today i was quite cui again!!
Yep! Den she was talkin to one family! Wah damn long! Bt ok la, saw hw she did it slowly & stuff! Den after tt had to see a case! & i knew she had briefin at 4pm. So i chionged thru! & goodness! I left so many qn unanswered/unexplored! Ehehe! Bt she came in! After tt she was rushin, so she din "debrief" w me also! Hehe! Bt at least no slammin of things! :p hahahahah! Bt she only did tt once lah!:p
Yeah! Den came back & chionged e recordings! Goodness! I spent more time doin recordin than e p/c! Bt yep! Ended yest super hectically! Was using my brain & at least engaged in sth thru-out e day!! :) hehe!
Today continued e recordin! Den did my longstay.. Until 9 plus den i asked huiwen if my sup was busy, she said no den i went to discuss e stuff w her. Came back did some more stuff, den went to make p/c. Lol. E results were damn diao.. Hehe! Den was doin longstay stuff again! Den went to see case! Goodness! I really dun dare say anythin! Coz i dunno anythin bout e sunlove! I feel like checkin w kaiyi tmr bout whether was i v disappointin yest! Hehe! As in her view matters! Whether m i supposed to b equipped w tt area of knowledge by nw or nt! Goodness! I feel quite useless!
Bt after e session, she jus said "aiyah, thot can let u tt u try applyin.." bt she din say anythin bout my lack of response to e pt & his sis! Hehe! Bt i tink i was really cui! Ok! Check w kaiyi tmr! Heeh! She said i shld go to her rite?
Den she told me today got lunch meetin! Hehe! & i went to dabao, den goodness! Is for SWAs only! So i jus joined her, brandon & paei sun at lunch! It's super hilarious!!!
Yep! During lunch, kaiyi talked bout honours again! Haha! I wanted to talk to her more! Jus nt in front of paei sun & brandon! Dun like to appear retarded in front of others, except my sup! :p
Hehe! Den goodness! They were like gossiping bout e newspapers & stuff! Lol!! All damn epic! Paei sun really damn auntie! I burst out laughin wen she was tryin to conclude e moral of e story! Den brandon laughed wen i laughed! Hahahaha! & everyone jus laughed! I tink kaiyi got it, she said she tinks i find paei sun funny! & it's true! Hahahah! After tt paei sun did ask me why i laughed, den i jus said softly she v funny! Hahahah!
& she really damn innocent sia! We were tryin to explain to her hw media coverage is gg to b helpful for e city harvest ppl, she couldn't get it! Hahaha!
& goodness! Brandon & kaiyi & paei sun also! Were askin me hw twitter works! Hahaha! R they tt far frm us? Hahaha! & brandon went "so do u tweet bout hw e way kaiyi treats u?" den they were jokin hw shld get kaiyi to follow me on twitter! Hahaha! Sure! I dun tweet v often also! Hahaha! & if she see all my tweets, she sure "wow!" de! All praises of her k! Hahahah!
& kaiyi also watches HK dramas! Hahaha! Den we jus laughed & talked bout stuff! Hehehe! Quite happy! Actually all my "wishes" fulfilled! I hoped to haf a more casual lunch w my sup & also to b able to make her laugh! Hehe! I achieved all! Heeh! Tho we still dun haf a personal r/s, i'm happy enuff alr! :) hehe!
Yest wen we were talkin durin supervision, i really opened up totally!!! Hehe! & den wen i was thinkin bout it subsequently, i realised i no longer fear lookin stupid in front of kaiyi! Heheh! I no longer spend time thinkin whether to say or nt! & today durin e case, i really was nth to say, nt dun dare! Heh!
Yep!!! Bt i'll see if tmr she has time to process w me or nt! Hehe! If nt, den.. Let go? Hahaha! Maybe? Dun wan her to tink coz evaluation is comin, so i'm like exceptionally proactive also! Nt true k!! Hehe!
& jus nw after work, saw her email! She said i v prompt w my recordings & she uploaded everythin alr! So happy! :D hehehe! Every affirmation is so empowerin for me! :p hehehe!
Yep! & my motivation to work on them is so tt i can go outpt to see case! Heheheh!
Lol! 4 ppl at YEC meetin? & it's like 1 is ziyang, e o is ho kit! Den 3 members? Lol!
Yeah! Den went for systemic! Tired max after tt! Din manage to finish longstay! It required more time than i thot! Yep! Bt tmr morn sure can finish followin up, den i'll go tell kaiyi to finish up! :D heheheh! Yay! & go outpatient liao! :D
Yep! & was quited tired & angsty! Hehe! Bt went to take photos in toilet! Quite high & happy after tt!
Hehe! Den was walkin w juju to take green line at outram! Den she asked me nt to spoil market! Bt i wan to write a card to e outpt ppl mah! Wrong meh? Bt yep! Huiwen said i was firm yest wen i was talkin to marian bout it! Hehe! I tink it's nth wrong lah! It's jus sth tt i value a lot! & huiwen understands! Hehh! Yep!
So jus nw i was like, coz juju's train came. So she left, sayin "dun spoil mkt leh". Bt yep! I shld stay firm to things tt matter to me! Yep! Hehe! Nt angry, jus tt we value diff things! Hehe!
Yep! Anw, today's lunch was nice! I like hw e interaction was funny & natural! Can jus say wat u feel! Of coz i din talk lo, e 3 sups did it! Bt i like tt interaction! Bt i'm nt v open w my own intern frens! Hehe! Bt nt tt i'm nt happy, jus tt i dun talk! Hehe! Jus hopin tt i'll dare to talk comfortably w my colleagues in e future!! Hehehe! Bt i still love my intern frens k! They're super lovely! Yep! & i mean it! Heheeh!
Yep! Anw yec meetin got more ppl liao, bt need one more person to start meetin! Hopefully quickly end! I wan go home & slp! & still got readings for tmr's grp sup nt done! Lol! I love grp sup coz e sups will sit in! Hehehe!
Yep! So these 2 days haf been awesome! Again, sad tt placement is ending! Hehe! Bt jus nw realised e prep for farewell - doin of cards & stuff is actually therapeutic! E impt of rituals in helpin to ease e sad feelings & stuff! Hehehe!
Yep! :)
K! Tt's it! Anw, happy! :) tho tired! Will speak to kaiyi if i get e chance tmr! :) heheh!
Kheng:)
Anw! Huiwen jus told me tt i was assertive jus nw! Wen we were discussin e cards stuff! Hehe! She said she first time see, a bit scared! Hahaha! Bt is coz she nv see b4! Hahah! Bt i also tink partly coz is marian, so i also nt so soft in my approach!
As i said b4, i'm e "leader" in my uni clique, bt at IMH, i'm e follower! Hehe! Bt i jus tink i shld tone down! Cannot b too mean to marian! Hehehe! So many things to talk bout for today! Hehehe!
Yeah! Tired actually! Coz worked v hard today! Earlier in e morn den drama! Coz woke up late! So went by train method! Hehe! So couldn't nap! Hehe!
Den met juju! Haha! Had quite a fun discussion! She said tt she thinks marian will do well! Hehe! & she said tt marian is good & she expresses it! Whereas nicole is good, jus tt she dun express it as in verbalise it! Bt she's still good! I also agree! Esp frm her grp supervision's performance! Hehe!
Yeah! & there was this reflection bout who is e good one? E one who says it all out? Or e one who stays quiet? Izzit possible tt huiwen, julia or me is actually e one who is really good? Hehe! We nv noe, till we see it! Hehe!
& this brings me to e point! My sup wants me to self-evaluate like again!!! Lol! Jus nw was thinkin bout it! Wun give myself tt A! Even tho i wan it! Coz i tink i'm jus nt there yet! In terms of improvement, def leaps! Bt whether it's big or nt is subjective! Hehe! & coz i started so lousily, i also dunno where i'm like nw! Yep! Bt it's ok! Actually i dun care e grade! I'm only concerned bout wat my sup thinks! Heheh! Like where i stand & stuff! Hehe!
& i guess she wun give me anythin lower than B+ bah? Hahah! No matter wat, my attitude & effort, shld amt to sth bah? Anw, i dun tink i need to b tt hard on myself also! :p hahaha! B+.. Nt too over-estimating myself rite? :p hehe! Maybe i shld go reflect mre first! Haha!
Yep! & i did bring up e grp supervision durin e talk w julia! Coz i wanted to "encourage" her tt she & nicole were e 2 who managed to connect to me a little, nicole more durin e paraphrasin & all! Hehe! & i went on to tell her y i behaved tt way durin grp supervision tt day! Haha! & she told me i shld haf said it earlier! Hehe! Bt i didn't! :p
Den went in! E row call thingy, i tink kaiyi tinks i went ward w hui en, tt's y didn't call me! Hehe! Bt dun care! :p hehe! Of coz i wan to go, i like to b part of e team! Bt kaiyi nv call me, i really wun go! Hehe! I thin-skinned! :p
Yeah! Bt after all e stuff, i did some readin for fri's grp supervision & went toilet to shit! Den came back went to kaiyi, she nt free! & tt's wen i realised she thot i went up ward! She always forgets e meetings w me! Bt it's ok! Hehe! Coz after tt i went to make a p/c, no ans & i went back & read some more! Took our my ji dan gao to eat & she came to ask me to go over! Lol!
So discussed cases. E result was tt i've to make e p/c first.. & nth much liao! Hehe! Den she talked bout h/v! Hehe! Den we talked bout hui en's case & we discussed quite extensively! Hehe! & agreement was i can follow hui en for all e follow-up work! :D
Den yah.. Stopped there! & we discussed bout hw e arrangment will b like! She said she was worried bout e f/u work i had to do! Heeh! She actually said she thinks tt it might b too much for me to keep gg out to see e cases.. Hehe! Den i asked "why?" hahaha! Den she was a little shocked i tink! Bt i asked coz i was curious! Coz i rrally do nth de in office! Hehe! Den she said if i tink i can manage, den can go ahead no prob! Heheh! Hope i wasn't too rude! Bt got her approval to ask o workers to bring me along! Hehe! Yay! Den i'll b more darin to ask nw! :D
& asked bout e longstay thingy. & thot ending there liao.. Haha!
Den she asked "anythin else?" den i said "not really.." hmm... & she asked "hw's last wk? Anythin happened?" & i did e most epic thing ever! I turned ard to see if kim yoong was ard! Den i turned back & look at her "full attendance" of colleagues behind her. & i asked "can we dun talk here? :p" hahahah! Den she went *eyes became bigger* "ooh! Ok! U see if e first room is available?" hahaha! & we went to first room to discuss! HahahN
& i shared w her bout e kim yoong's incident! Heeh! There was a point wen she went "so u felt..." & she gave e "i noe hw u feel" look! & i jus nodded even b4 she said! & i gave de "yah yah!!!!!!" look! Herh! & she "gave up" & asked me hw i felt! Hehe!
She asked me wat would i've done in tt case.. Den i jus thot & said. Den i did tell her wat really disturbs me is nt e diff in practice, bt rather i din get any ans b4 it started, den dunno hw it went, den ended w no debrief! Rahh!
& kaiyi jus said sth like this.. "i m
Unable to tell u why did kim yoong nt ans her qn.. Bt i would like to encourage u to dare to try.. & if e worker thinks differently, he/she will come in & give his/her input.. @ e end of e day, u've to respect their decision, of coz" yeah! I understand! Hehehe!
Yep! Bt wen kaiyi said e "i would like to encourage u.." this tone she use b4! Tink durin first supervision! It's like she understands e constraints bt would still like to try to encourage me.. Hehe! Tt was quite empowerin & encouragin! Hehe!
I feel like sleepin leh.. Bt i feel like bloggin also! Rah!!!
--oops! I woke up late again today! :/ --
Yah.. So kaiyi processed w me e incident! & after tt i was feelin ok! Hehe! Actually i wasn't nt nt ok, tt's why i wasn't sure whether to bring it up or nt! Hehe!
Den she asked "anythin else?" den i tink tink say "no".. Den she asked bout hw's e grp supervision on friday! Hehe! Den i told her bout e role-play part! Hehe! If she din ask, i wun say actually!
Yeah! So i told her tt e role play, i tried to put myself in e pt's shoes coz i tink previously nt real enuff! Haha! Den i became a difficult pt, coz i asked them "shld i die?" hahahah! Den she laughed! Hahahah! Den i said i kept askin! Hahahah! Omg! Damn epic! Hehehe!
Den i got tell her my rationale! Like coz i couldn't feel the impact of their paraphrasin & stuff, hehe! Den i said bt wen nicole & paei sun did it, i could feel it sometimes! & she picked it up & asked "wait! Bt u said u felt it!" den she said tt if they did it well, i shld b able to feel it even if i aren't e pt de! Den i nodded!
& she asked, why didn't i say it? Izzit coz there's some form of competition? I said not competition, bt i dun dare to say. Den she asked y? Scared offend them? Den i said yah.. & i said a little softer bout e part tt cox i'm like so lousy den if i still comment on them, it's like...
& goodness, she said she will go speak to e other supervisors & see if there's a need for re-debrief! She asked who was in e session & i said weiping & paei sun, den siew khim on course, brandon came in halfway & left.. Hehehe! Wonderin if kaiyi was there, would she haf picked it up & asked me why i asked those qn!
Bt actually i did explain myself le! Tho nt under prompting lah, i did it myself! :p hehehe!
-- continuing e post after work --
Yep! & yah lo! I dun tink e dynamics between e 5 of us is so bad tt i actually need my sup to use a formal ocassion to open up e platform for me to share! Bt lol, e truth is, i'm indeed nt speakin mah! Lol! Wat do i wan man! Still in e process of figurin out! Lol! Like esp after today's role play durin systemic trg, actually i also feel v defensive towards feedback, tho i try to do my best to accept it! Nt sure if i did reveal it unconsciously thru my non-verbals! Hehe! & i also lost track of wat e interview shld b on & explred other things!
Yeah! Of coz it shld nt b all avoid & nt give feedback! Hehe! Bt i understand e pain of feedback! Bt actually i wun mind if they give it to me! It's painful bt i wan it! Hehe! Den wat makes me tink tt they dun wan, right? Hmm.. Bt nt sure if they'll discuss this tmr! Shall see hw! Hehe!
Bt anw, kaiyi did ask me why i din talk to her earlier! Yest was wed alr! Hehe! Den i said "coz u busy mah." den she said "yah, i'm busy, i'm always busy, bt u jus haf to come! It's impossible to find a perfect nt busy timing." hehe! Lol! I really
nv do learn my lesson! She told me since wk 2 liao, tt i've to go to her! Bt e thing is i always dunno if certain things r still worth mentionin after some time! So i dun bring it up! Heh! Ok lah, left w like less than 2 wks, if gt things den i'll go to her lo! Haha!
Yeah! Nt tt i dun wan to go, bt i really scared she busy! Hehe!
Bt yep! After e supervision, so happy! 3rd time feelin so empowered/encouraged/process-ed after supervision! E right word shld b "attended to"! Hehehe!
& tt's morning! After tt did follow up on e p/c. Den afternoon went out to see cases quite early? I got STM! Cannot recall! Rahh!!
Yah! 230! I went to make p/c, den she went out to room 10. So i went after her. She asked marian to pass msg to me! Hee! & went out w brandon & marian. & heard hw brandon prepared marian. Really super hand-holdin kind! I would say this is damn awesome! Bt actually, after being under kaiyi for e past 8 wks, i would say my style kinda adapted! I tink kaiyi's method of lettin me sink. I survived it! & i tink i learnt things e uncomfortable way! Heeh! & it was quite a big challenge & i would say breakthrough! Hehe! Bt today i was quite cui again!!
Yep! Den she was talkin to one family! Wah damn long! Bt ok la, saw hw she did it slowly & stuff! Den after tt had to see a case! & i knew she had briefin at 4pm. So i chionged thru! & goodness! I left so many qn unanswered/unexplored! Ehehe! Bt she came in! After tt she was rushin, so she din "debrief" w me also! Hehe! Bt at least no slammin of things! :p hahahahah! Bt she only did tt once lah!:p
Yeah! Den came back & chionged e recordings! Goodness! I spent more time doin recordin than e p/c! Bt yep! Ended yest super hectically! Was using my brain & at least engaged in sth thru-out e day!! :) hehe!
Today continued e recordin! Den did my longstay.. Until 9 plus den i asked huiwen if my sup was busy, she said no den i went to discuss e stuff w her. Came back did some more stuff, den went to make p/c. Lol. E results were damn diao.. Hehe! Den was doin longstay stuff again! Den went to see case! Goodness! I really dun dare say anythin! Coz i dunno anythin bout e sunlove! I feel like checkin w kaiyi tmr bout whether was i v disappointin yest! Hehe! As in her view matters! Whether m i supposed to b equipped w tt area of knowledge by nw or nt! Goodness! I feel quite useless!
Bt after e session, she jus said "aiyah, thot can let u tt u try applyin.." bt she din say anythin bout my lack of response to e pt & his sis! Hehe! Bt i tink i was really cui! Ok! Check w kaiyi tmr! Heeh! She said i shld go to her rite?
Den she told me today got lunch meetin! Hehe! & i went to dabao, den goodness! Is for SWAs only! So i jus joined her, brandon & paei sun at lunch! It's super hilarious!!!
Yep! During lunch, kaiyi talked bout honours again! Haha! I wanted to talk to her more! Jus nt in front of paei sun & brandon! Dun like to appear retarded in front of others, except my sup! :p
Hehe! Den goodness! They were like gossiping bout e newspapers & stuff! Lol!! All damn epic! Paei sun really damn auntie! I burst out laughin wen she was tryin to conclude e moral of e story! Den brandon laughed wen i laughed! Hahahaha! & everyone jus laughed! I tink kaiyi got it, she said she tinks i find paei sun funny! & it's true! Hahahah! After tt paei sun did ask me why i laughed, den i jus said softly she v funny! Hahahah!
& she really damn innocent sia! We were tryin to explain to her hw media coverage is gg to b helpful for e city harvest ppl, she couldn't get it! Hahaha!
& goodness! Brandon & kaiyi & paei sun also! Were askin me hw twitter works! Hahaha! R they tt far frm us? Hahaha! & brandon went "so do u tweet bout hw e way kaiyi treats u?" den they were jokin hw shld get kaiyi to follow me on twitter! Hahaha! Sure! I dun tweet v often also! Hahaha! & if she see all my tweets, she sure "wow!" de! All praises of her k! Hahahah!
& kaiyi also watches HK dramas! Hahaha! Den we jus laughed & talked bout stuff! Hehehe! Quite happy! Actually all my "wishes" fulfilled! I hoped to haf a more casual lunch w my sup & also to b able to make her laugh! Hehe! I achieved all! Heeh! Tho we still dun haf a personal r/s, i'm happy enuff alr! :) hehe!
Yest wen we were talkin durin supervision, i really opened up totally!!! Hehe! & den wen i was thinkin bout it subsequently, i realised i no longer fear lookin stupid in front of kaiyi! Heheh! I no longer spend time thinkin whether to say or nt! & today durin e case, i really was nth to say, nt dun dare! Heh!
Yep!!! Bt i'll see if tmr she has time to process w me or nt! Hehe! If nt, den.. Let go? Hahaha! Maybe? Dun wan her to tink coz evaluation is comin, so i'm like exceptionally proactive also! Nt true k!! Hehe!
& jus nw after work, saw her email! She said i v prompt w my recordings & she uploaded everythin alr! So happy! :D hehehe! Every affirmation is so empowerin for me! :p hehehe!
Yep! & my motivation to work on them is so tt i can go outpt to see case! Heheheh!
Lol! 4 ppl at YEC meetin? & it's like 1 is ziyang, e o is ho kit! Den 3 members? Lol!
Yeah! Den went for systemic! Tired max after tt! Din manage to finish longstay! It required more time than i thot! Yep! Bt tmr morn sure can finish followin up, den i'll go tell kaiyi to finish up! :D heheheh! Yay! & go outpatient liao! :D
Yep! & was quited tired & angsty! Hehe! Bt went to take photos in toilet! Quite high & happy after tt!
Hehe! Den was walkin w juju to take green line at outram! Den she asked me nt to spoil market! Bt i wan to write a card to e outpt ppl mah! Wrong meh? Bt yep! Huiwen said i was firm yest wen i was talkin to marian bout it! Hehe! I tink it's nth wrong lah! It's jus sth tt i value a lot! & huiwen understands! Hehh! Yep!
So jus nw i was like, coz juju's train came. So she left, sayin "dun spoil mkt leh". Bt yep! I shld stay firm to things tt matter to me! Yep! Hehe! Nt angry, jus tt we value diff things! Hehe!
Yep! Anw, today's lunch was nice! I like hw e interaction was funny & natural! Can jus say wat u feel! Of coz i din talk lo, e 3 sups did it! Bt i like tt interaction! Bt i'm nt v open w my own intern frens! Hehe! Bt nt tt i'm nt happy, jus tt i dun talk! Hehe! Jus hopin tt i'll dare to talk comfortably w my colleagues in e future!! Hehehe! Bt i still love my intern frens k! They're super lovely! Yep! & i mean it! Heheeh!
Yep! Anw yec meetin got more ppl liao, bt need one more person to start meetin! Hopefully quickly end! I wan go home & slp! & still got readings for tmr's grp sup nt done! Lol! I love grp sup coz e sups will sit in! Hehehe!
Yep! So these 2 days haf been awesome! Again, sad tt placement is ending! Hehe! Bt jus nw realised e prep for farewell - doin of cards & stuff is actually therapeutic! E impt of rituals in helpin to ease e sad feelings & stuff! Hehehe!
Yep! :)
K! Tt's it! Anw, happy! :) tho tired! Will speak to kaiyi if i get e chance tmr! :) heheh!
Kheng:)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
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Wah! Started e morn feelin so tired! Bt well! Doin work! & drinkin coffee! Heheh! & nw shittin in e toilet again! :p heh! Oops! :p
Rahh!
Hahaha! Rahh!! Jus ended tuition w yuxiang! Told pingping this:
Throttling (nt sure if i spelt it correctly):
An imaginery act of attempting to kill someone who gets on ur nerves, eg, coconut for pingping, tutee for kh!
Haha! Coz we've this dictionary thingy! Hehe! Rahh!! Really felt like throttling him jus nw! Nt thinkin & nt askin. Totally did a kaiyi on him.. "eh, so how?" "eh, wat u thinkin?" ... Lol! Totally e "eh, kuai dian leh!" really is frustration leh! Dunno dun wan to tink & dun wan to try! Rahh!!
Bt okay lah! Wasn't really angry! Heheh! I jus tink i need to b more assertive w him! It's nt bout being bad or nt! Hehe! It's bout pushin him! Hehe! I've broke past tt barrier of mine! Hehehe! At least today! :p
Yay! Conference call w pingping they all first! :)
Kheng.
Throttling (nt sure if i spelt it correctly):
An imaginery act of attempting to kill someone who gets on ur nerves, eg, coconut for pingping, tutee for kh!
Haha! Coz we've this dictionary thingy! Hehe! Rahh!! Really felt like throttling him jus nw! Nt thinkin & nt askin. Totally did a kaiyi on him.. "eh, so how?" "eh, wat u thinkin?" ... Lol! Totally e "eh, kuai dian leh!" really is frustration leh! Dunno dun wan to tink & dun wan to try! Rahh!!
Bt okay lah! Wasn't really angry! Heheh! I jus tink i need to b more assertive w him! It's nt bout being bad or nt! Hehe! It's bout pushin him! Hehe! I've broke past tt barrier of mine! Hehehe! At least today! :p
Yay! Conference call w pingping they all first! :)
Kheng.
:D
Yawns! Today is a v exciting day! Except for e morn tt set me on tenderhooks, e entire day was awesome! Jus plain busy & hiong! Bt i like! *winks*
Hehe! Today really quite a bit to blog! Coz had an extensive supervision w kaiyi! :D quite happy after tt! Hehe! Den was seein cases w her in e afternoon! Totally best my case! Lol! Tink she is faintin now! I still missed out so many things! Heheh! Bt tink e self-declaration part, after she told me "dun ask me", at least i tink i managed to do sth tt's nt too disappointing! Hehehe! Yep!
Actually a lot to blog! Bt bloggin zaps my energy! Hehe! & nw gg tuition! So maybe will jus take e time to stone first!
Maybe blog tmr? Hahaha!
& most prob is = wun blog liao! :p
Kheng.
Hehe! Today really quite a bit to blog! Coz had an extensive supervision w kaiyi! :D quite happy after tt! Hehe! Den was seein cases w her in e afternoon! Totally best my case! Lol! Tink she is faintin now! I still missed out so many things! Heheh! Bt tink e self-declaration part, after she told me "dun ask me", at least i tink i managed to do sth tt's nt too disappointing! Hehehe! Yep!
Actually a lot to blog! Bt bloggin zaps my energy! Hehe! & nw gg tuition! So maybe will jus take e time to stone first!
Maybe blog tmr? Hahaha!
& most prob is = wun blog liao! :p
Kheng.
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Today really excitin max! :D busy like mad!! Hahah! Goodness! Bt at least had a good day! I like this! Let's hope my remainin 10 days will all b like this! *winks*
shall blog ltr if i get e chance! Hehehe!
shall blog ltr if i get e chance! Hehehe!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Heh heh heh!
Hehhe! I'm shittin in e toilet! & like got a lot to shit like tt sia! Bt it's genuine ok! Hahaha!
Oops! Din go row call jus nw! Coz dunno whether to go or nt mah! Kaiyi also nv say! Den i heard a kid's cryin sound! Den shld b kaiyi's son! Bt after tt she also din ask me along! Hehe! I tink she did go for the row call! Bt she din ask me mah! Hahahah! I tink this time round e r/s w colleagues part i gg fail like mad! Hahaha!
Bt anw! Yeah! M i supposed to go to her for supervision? Opps! Shld b rite? Bt could hear her being busy on e phone & stuff leh! Haha! Bt yeah! She will say i shld go to her!! Yep yep! Ok! After shittin i'll go to her k! Hahaha!
Yeah! Bt i tink i kinda reconciled w myself y she din ask me for e row call tt time liao! Haha! Maybe she went there straight? Hahah! Bt she ask me along today leh! Jiatlat! I really like quite cui! Bt heck! Again, it's wk 8 liao. Dun wan to b thinkin bout such stuff again! :p hahahah!
Kheng.
Oops! Din go row call jus nw! Coz dunno whether to go or nt mah! Kaiyi also nv say! Den i heard a kid's cryin sound! Den shld b kaiyi's son! Bt after tt she also din ask me along! Hehe! I tink she did go for the row call! Bt she din ask me mah! Hahahah! I tink this time round e r/s w colleagues part i gg fail like mad! Hahaha!
Bt anw! Yeah! M i supposed to go to her for supervision? Opps! Shld b rite? Bt could hear her being busy on e phone & stuff leh! Haha! Bt yeah! She will say i shld go to her!! Yep yep! Ok! After shittin i'll go to her k! Hahaha!
Yeah! Bt i tink i kinda reconciled w myself y she din ask me for e row call tt time liao! Haha! Maybe she went there straight? Hahah! Bt she ask me along today leh! Jiatlat! I really like quite cui! Bt heck! Again, it's wk 8 liao. Dun wan to b thinkin bout such stuff again! :p hahahah!
Kheng.
Short post
Waitin for my short get-away post placement! Hehe! Thinkin of all e things to motivate myself to nt b too upset after placement ends!!! Heh!
Today nth much! Dun feel like spammin also! Bt yeah! Everytime come back frm seminar will get to say e things i wan to! Hahaha! Today came back den kaiyi was busy! So i did my longstay stuff! & did for damn long! Wanted to make phone calls, bt again ah, hiding! I really still avoidance style!! Rah!!!
Den she came to find boss bt boss nt in. Den i din ask her also! Aiyo! Hiding again! Bt she came to ask me hw was my morn! Heheheh! Den i jus checked w her e things i wanted to check & continue doin my longstay!
Den finally finished! Such a torturous 2.5hrs sittin there! Coz i din give myself break! Jus wanted to finish it!!! Heh! & finally finished it! Made p/c. No results den talked to huiwen they all! Den she started talkin! Den i saw hui en, so i went to kaypoh for updates! Heh! Den after tt kaiyi became free! So i went to pass her file & update stuff! Hehe! & yep! She asked hw is e arrangement to hui en's ward gg to turn out! Hehe! She said placement is comin to an end, hehe! Den i told her i'm thinkin of seein more outpatient cases! Hehe!
Yep! So she said okay & stuff! Tmr gg see her in e morn for supervision! Hehe! Is to discuss e cases! & maybe get supervision also! Haha! Bt tmr shld b nth much to discuss! Hehehe! No burning issue leh! Maybe bout e work of MSW? Role of social work? Hehe! Tt means mus go back & do my reflections liao! Den can org thots & ask her tmr! Hehe!
Yep! & she said she nt free to see me for e rest of e wk! See! Nt tt i dun wan to b proactive, she also busy!! Hahahah! Bt this doesn't mean she is nt givin me time! Is i nv approach her! Hehh! Yep!
So anw, tt's bout it! Nth else exciting! Hehe! Jus teased weiping & was jokin ard w huiwen & nicole! <3
Haha! E top few colleagues i'll miss: kaiyi, hui en & weiping! Brandon also nice bt i wun miss him! Hehe! Yah lo! Tink coz here we support each other(i mean within e interns), so we dun really interact w other colleagues also. For me, at least i dun get to see my sup for a full half a day everyday! Coz she's outpatient! Bt it's ok.. Well.. It's like wk 8 nw? Hahahah! Still talkin bout tt! Yep! Bt i wun really miss miss coz nt much interaction also! Jus a lot of eye stares/comm usin eyes w weiping! & more interaction w hui en! She was v supportive!! Yep! If this is e case, den i tink i can't go to her ward on last day to buy coffee for everyone liao leh! Hehe! Hmm.. Jus wanted to thank them all! Even tho they din do much w me! :p except say peggy! & e nurses who opened door for me! :p hahahah!
Yeah! Omg! Mus work on e joke book also! This sun prep for presentation! Nxt sun, prep for farewell! Hehe!
Yeah! So fast! Tmr wed liao! & frm tmr onwards, officially 2 wks left! :(
Yeah! & tt's it! Shall leave things here & this way! Hehe! Slowly tryin to ease myself out! Tho i'm nt givin up on learnin opportunities! Hehe!
Anw! Really stunned pingping cried today! & really did wonder if i din support her enough! Hehe! Bt i guess i did my best! :D hehh! I really listen to pingping leh! W all my heart & sincerity! Hehehe! & at least she thinks tt she tells me things alr! She herself also stunned she broke down! & durin e discussion w dr lee, i tink i really noe quite a bit bout pingping's situation! Heheh! Jus proud! :p bleh! Heeheh! Bt yep! I'll continue to support pingping more!!! <3
Kheng.
Today nth much! Dun feel like spammin also! Bt yeah! Everytime come back frm seminar will get to say e things i wan to! Hahaha! Today came back den kaiyi was busy! So i did my longstay stuff! & did for damn long! Wanted to make phone calls, bt again ah, hiding! I really still avoidance style!! Rah!!!
Den she came to find boss bt boss nt in. Den i din ask her also! Aiyo! Hiding again! Bt she came to ask me hw was my morn! Heheheh! Den i jus checked w her e things i wanted to check & continue doin my longstay!
Den finally finished! Such a torturous 2.5hrs sittin there! Coz i din give myself break! Jus wanted to finish it!!! Heh! & finally finished it! Made p/c. No results den talked to huiwen they all! Den she started talkin! Den i saw hui en, so i went to kaypoh for updates! Heh! Den after tt kaiyi became free! So i went to pass her file & update stuff! Hehe! & yep! She asked hw is e arrangement to hui en's ward gg to turn out! Hehe! She said placement is comin to an end, hehe! Den i told her i'm thinkin of seein more outpatient cases! Hehe!
Yep! So she said okay & stuff! Tmr gg see her in e morn for supervision! Hehe! Is to discuss e cases! & maybe get supervision also! Haha! Bt tmr shld b nth much to discuss! Hehehe! No burning issue leh! Maybe bout e work of MSW? Role of social work? Hehe! Tt means mus go back & do my reflections liao! Den can org thots & ask her tmr! Hehe!
Yep! & she said she nt free to see me for e rest of e wk! See! Nt tt i dun wan to b proactive, she also busy!! Hahahah! Bt this doesn't mean she is nt givin me time! Is i nv approach her! Hehh! Yep!
So anw, tt's bout it! Nth else exciting! Hehe! Jus teased weiping & was jokin ard w huiwen & nicole! <3
Haha! E top few colleagues i'll miss: kaiyi, hui en & weiping! Brandon also nice bt i wun miss him! Hehe! Yah lo! Tink coz here we support each other(i mean within e interns), so we dun really interact w other colleagues also. For me, at least i dun get to see my sup for a full half a day everyday! Coz she's outpatient! Bt it's ok.. Well.. It's like wk 8 nw? Hahahah! Still talkin bout tt! Yep! Bt i wun really miss miss coz nt much interaction also! Jus a lot of eye stares/comm usin eyes w weiping! & more interaction w hui en! She was v supportive!! Yep! If this is e case, den i tink i can't go to her ward on last day to buy coffee for everyone liao leh! Hehe! Hmm.. Jus wanted to thank them all! Even tho they din do much w me! :p except say peggy! & e nurses who opened door for me! :p hahahah!
Yeah! Omg! Mus work on e joke book also! This sun prep for presentation! Nxt sun, prep for farewell! Hehe!
Yeah! So fast! Tmr wed liao! & frm tmr onwards, officially 2 wks left! :(
Yeah! & tt's it! Shall leave things here & this way! Hehe! Slowly tryin to ease myself out! Tho i'm nt givin up on learnin opportunities! Hehe!
Anw! Really stunned pingping cried today! & really did wonder if i din support her enough! Hehe! Bt i guess i did my best! :D hehh! I really listen to pingping leh! W all my heart & sincerity! Hehehe! & at least she thinks tt she tells me things alr! She herself also stunned she broke down! & durin e discussion w dr lee, i tink i really noe quite a bit bout pingping's situation! Heheh! Jus proud! :p bleh! Heeheh! Bt yep! I'll continue to support pingping more!!! <3
Kheng.
Monday, June 25, 2012
:D
Hehe! Ended my last dunno hw many day! Hehe! Startin to count down liao!
Lol! This morn kaiyi msg-ed me sayin she has sth urgent & will only come in in e afternoon! So i went up to hui en's ward! :) today nth much! Den i went to longstay to finish gatherin info! Came
Back she was busy so i did e longstay stuff first! Until she asked me out for case!
Hehe! Cool! Today i really jus asked, no matter hw scared i was, jus whacked! Hehhe! Coz mus maximise learnin rite? Hehehe!
& awesome, after tt kaiyi got process w me & gave me direct feedback also! V much coz i did make "mistakes", bt it's ok! Coz tt's hw i got feedback! If i feared & din ask, most prob would haf lost those learnin opportunities! Hehe! So, happy! :) jus hope i din appear too defensive! Hehe! I was tryin to recall wat i said! Hehe!
& yah, i jus asked her bout all e cases & wat i shld do! Hehe! Shall work on them tmr! So tt see if there's any potential frm those areas to let me use as a case! Hehe!
Yep! I've to update e longstay thingy! Cannot do at home coz cannot access FAAST! Bt shld b quite fast since i typed them all out le! Jus need to copy & paste! Hehe!
Tmr see if i get e chance to speak to kaiyi! I wan to go & see pt everyday! Bt today din tell her! Coz she brought me out to see case mah! Haha! She's on E-room duty! Chey! Tt's all leh, really all false alarm! Hahahah! Tt one time wen all e interestin cases came, really v interesting! Heheh!
Oh yah, & kaiyi got tell me i spoke quite fast also! & she said sth else tt revealed tt i was a little anxious! Hehe! Actually my fear level dropped by a lot le! Hehe! Jus tt my skills really nt there! So will b a little weird!
Ok! She initially said my questions a bit.. Den she said actually ok, jus tt my voice & all.. So i'm nt too sure if my questionin is still weird! I still tink they r! Hehe! Hw to improve ah? Hmm. Nvm! I try to see if i get to see case w her tmr, if nt i'll ask her why is it weird! Hehe!
Really runnin out of time! Bt today i still sat at my table & waited tho i noe wk 8 liao! Hahahah! Dun dare go bother her! Coz she busy! & i did haf things to do mah! Haha!
Yep! Bt after tt settled e cases & ok! Tt calls an end to e day!
Nth special in particular - 无惊无险！
Hehe! Tmr got seminar! So sad i'm missin out an entire half-day! Hopefully kaiyi wun b on morn duty!! Den at least i can go w her to see cases in e afternoon! If nt den i'll request for sth! Hehehe! Yep! :)
Kheng.
Lol! This morn kaiyi msg-ed me sayin she has sth urgent & will only come in in e afternoon! So i went up to hui en's ward! :) today nth much! Den i went to longstay to finish gatherin info! Came
Back she was busy so i did e longstay stuff first! Until she asked me out for case!
Hehe! Cool! Today i really jus asked, no matter hw scared i was, jus whacked! Hehhe! Coz mus maximise learnin rite? Hehehe!
& awesome, after tt kaiyi got process w me & gave me direct feedback also! V much coz i did make "mistakes", bt it's ok! Coz tt's hw i got feedback! If i feared & din ask, most prob would haf lost those learnin opportunities! Hehe! So, happy! :) jus hope i din appear too defensive! Hehe! I was tryin to recall wat i said! Hehe!
& yah, i jus asked her bout all e cases & wat i shld do! Hehe! Shall work on them tmr! So tt see if there's any potential frm those areas to let me use as a case! Hehe!
Yep! I've to update e longstay thingy! Cannot do at home coz cannot access FAAST! Bt shld b quite fast since i typed them all out le! Jus need to copy & paste! Hehe!
Tmr see if i get e chance to speak to kaiyi! I wan to go & see pt everyday! Bt today din tell her! Coz she brought me out to see case mah! Haha! She's on E-room duty! Chey! Tt's all leh, really all false alarm! Hahahah! Tt one time wen all e interestin cases came, really v interesting! Heheh!
Oh yah, & kaiyi got tell me i spoke quite fast also! & she said sth else tt revealed tt i was a little anxious! Hehe! Actually my fear level dropped by a lot le! Hehe! Jus tt my skills really nt there! So will b a little weird!
Ok! She initially said my questions a bit.. Den she said actually ok, jus tt my voice & all.. So i'm nt too sure if my questionin is still weird! I still tink they r! Hehe! Hw to improve ah? Hmm. Nvm! I try to see if i get to see case w her tmr, if nt i'll ask her why is it weird! Hehe!
Really runnin out of time! Bt today i still sat at my table & waited tho i noe wk 8 liao! Hahahah! Dun dare go bother her! Coz she busy! & i did haf things to do mah! Haha!
Yep! Bt after tt settled e cases & ok! Tt calls an end to e day!
Nth special in particular - 无惊无险！
Hehe! Tmr got seminar! So sad i'm missin out an entire half-day! Hopefully kaiyi wun b on morn duty!! Den at least i can go w her to see cases in e afternoon! If nt den i'll request for sth! Hehehe! Yep! :)
Kheng.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Better! :)
Yawns! I really feel like sleepin man! *yawns again*
Goodness! Left w one hour to do reflections! Sian! If only yx can make it for tuition earlier! Bt actually if i end tuition earlier, i'll most prob only go home & slack! So it's perhaps good tt tuition is ltr den i can at least do some work nw! Haha
Sian.. Thinkin bout e disability project nw.. Hmm.. I really wonder why did i think tt e project was workable then ah? Nw i feel super skeptical bout it! Like i feel tt we'll jus get "smashed" if we do e project! Like nt much meaning leh. It's definitely nt coz i dun wan to do it so i'm deliberately being skeptical! Bt it's wen i tink of tryin to defend e project, i feel tt we're like quite hollow! Hmm.. Den wat's e point ah?
Tt time pau asked "will u all still do it for e sake of completin sth?" actually tt time i said yes, coz i knew i wun reject.. Bt nw.. Hmm.. I feel like i'm tryin to distant myself frm e project leh! Coz i tink it's like really super hollow! Hmm.. If it turns out good, of coz i wun claim credit! Bt why din i voice all these things out earlier ah? Hmm..
Tink will talk to tb-mate ltr! & see hw! Bt actually, we definitely will jus go on w e idea de i feel! Hmm..
Bt yeah, i'll talk to tb-mate, jus to check if our expectations r all on e same level! Yep!
Kheng.
Goodness! Left w one hour to do reflections! Sian! If only yx can make it for tuition earlier! Bt actually if i end tuition earlier, i'll most prob only go home & slack! So it's perhaps good tt tuition is ltr den i can at least do some work nw! Haha
Sian.. Thinkin bout e disability project nw.. Hmm.. I really wonder why did i think tt e project was workable then ah? Nw i feel super skeptical bout it! Like i feel tt we'll jus get "smashed" if we do e project! Like nt much meaning leh. It's definitely nt coz i dun wan to do it so i'm deliberately being skeptical! Bt it's wen i tink of tryin to defend e project, i feel tt we're like quite hollow! Hmm.. Den wat's e point ah?
Tt time pau asked "will u all still do it for e sake of completin sth?" actually tt time i said yes, coz i knew i wun reject.. Bt nw.. Hmm.. I feel like i'm tryin to distant myself frm e project leh! Coz i tink it's like really super hollow! Hmm.. If it turns out good, of coz i wun claim credit! Bt why din i voice all these things out earlier ah? Hmm..
Tink will talk to tb-mate ltr! & see hw! Bt actually, we definitely will jus go on w e idea de i feel! Hmm..
Bt yeah, i'll talk to tb-mate, jus to check if our expectations r all on e same level! Yep!
Kheng.
Bad mood:/
Wah sian! Mood jus v bad! Tink a bit nt enuff sleep also ba? Jus v irritable! :/
Sian! So sian haf to go tuition! Dun like e timin & everythin! Bt i also like tt mah.. Always askin for change of timin & stuff! So dun complain luh!
Dunno why so pekchek also! Jus super dun feel like gg for tuition! :/ i tink i wun b able to finish teachin yuxiang his stuff ltr also! Like got quite a bit to cover! Bt i wun go off too late also! Quite tired & sian liao!
My tutees r being shortchanged wenever i'm havin internship! :p previously i also had e tendency to cancel/postpone & stuff! Coz after work, really quite drainin! Nw is even wkends also v tired, need to recharge!
& maybe coz sore throat haven't recover => still heaty! So nw so angsty! Bt actually really luckily yx cannot make it at 2 rite? Tt's hw i managed to strike out one tuition? Hehe! If nt 3 i tink i'll die even earlier! Lol!
Rahh!!! Really feelin super negative nw! :/ jus hope can clear reflections ltr! In between e tuition break! & after tt, see hw! Jus waitin for e end of 2nd tuition & can go home feelin to come!
Actually i really dun wan placement to end! :(;(:(
Thot of this coz was askin myself if today ends quickly, den all my days will fly by this quickly! :/
E thot of havin to catch all e time u've left really is quite sad! Bt well, if nt for this, why will e experience & memories become more precious rite?
I said this many times b4 i guess, tt Actually if there is continual contact, den wun b 物以稀为贵 anymore. & if no contact, den will be "out of sight, out of mind"! Yeah! So i'll definitely b able to let go de!
Jus tt nw, wen i tink of e havin to let go process, it's jus a little more challengin & tiring!
Told huiwen yest tt wen placement ends, she will b e 2nd most missed person! Hehe! She said i'll b most missed! Hahaha! Actually i definitely can survive it de! Jus tt still quite sad at tt thot!
Yep! Anw! Feel sleepy nw! Sian! Bt less angsty! Tink e air-con & e coolin h2o drink helped! Bt ltr need to walk in, most prob will get angsty again! :p heh! Bt i wun flare up at e girl lah, i guess! Heheh!
Kheng.
Sian! So sian haf to go tuition! Dun like e timin & everythin! Bt i also like tt mah.. Always askin for change of timin & stuff! So dun complain luh!
Dunno why so pekchek also! Jus super dun feel like gg for tuition! :/ i tink i wun b able to finish teachin yuxiang his stuff ltr also! Like got quite a bit to cover! Bt i wun go off too late also! Quite tired & sian liao!
My tutees r being shortchanged wenever i'm havin internship! :p previously i also had e tendency to cancel/postpone & stuff! Coz after work, really quite drainin! Nw is even wkends also v tired, need to recharge!
& maybe coz sore throat haven't recover => still heaty! So nw so angsty! Bt actually really luckily yx cannot make it at 2 rite? Tt's hw i managed to strike out one tuition? Hehe! If nt 3 i tink i'll die even earlier! Lol!
Rahh!!! Really feelin super negative nw! :/ jus hope can clear reflections ltr! In between e tuition break! & after tt, see hw! Jus waitin for e end of 2nd tuition & can go home feelin to come!
Actually i really dun wan placement to end! :(;(:(
Thot of this coz was askin myself if today ends quickly, den all my days will fly by this quickly! :/
E thot of havin to catch all e time u've left really is quite sad! Bt well, if nt for this, why will e experience & memories become more precious rite?
I said this many times b4 i guess, tt Actually if there is continual contact, den wun b 物以稀为贵 anymore. & if no contact, den will be "out of sight, out of mind"! Yeah! So i'll definitely b able to let go de!
Jus tt nw, wen i tink of e havin to let go process, it's jus a little more challengin & tiring!
Told huiwen yest tt wen placement ends, she will b e 2nd most missed person! Hehe! She said i'll b most missed! Hahaha! Actually i definitely can survive it de! Jus tt still quite sad at tt thot!
Yep! Anw! Feel sleepy nw! Sian! Bt less angsty! Tink e air-con & e coolin h2o drink helped! Bt ltr need to walk in, most prob will get angsty again! :p heh! Bt i wun flare up at e girl lah, i guess! Heheh!
Kheng.
Friday, June 22, 2012
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Hmm! Today nt really a good day! :s heh!
Asked pingping for permission to rant! Bt rant till e end! I also din tell her e real thing i was pertubed about! :p hehe! Yeah! Cannot tell luh! Haf to respect confidentiality! Nt as if we signed anythin! Bt i jus tink i've bitched really a lot! Shldn't raise this up any further! Yep! Anw, wat i told pingping:
Actually i nt particularly upset or anythin! Hehehhe! Jus quite sian! Tink nt enuff sleep! Den sore throat! So dun quite feel like talkin also! Hehe
Den jus nw durin e grp supervision, i role played as e client! Coz i din wan to tink! So e rest let me be! Hehe!
Den i jus played e client! Den it's supposed to b suicide intervention! So i jus kept askin them "should i die" coz i felt tt tt was sth tt e patient would wan to noe! Hehe!
Den ended up makin things v difficult for them! Bt it wasn't my intention at all! Hehe! I did explain myself! Dun tink they r upset w me now also! Hahah! Bt yah!
Heheh! Ok lah! Actually also nth! :p jus tt dun feel v comfortable & well! :/
Yep! I din tell pingping! Coz i dun wan to b mean-er! Yep! & i tink i've been burdenin her enuff alr! :/
Aiyo! I'm really e kind of emo kid tt nicole they all dun like e most! & i'm really like depression sia! Seriously! Bt i'm fine! Jus feelin low! Actually my mood fluctuations have been v big recently! I tink v much coz i blogged everyday izzit? So i can see them being laid out properly! In comparison w one another! :/
Bt yeah!
Anw i'm nt gg ah ma's hs! Coz jus nw gor called me & i wasn't feelin quite well! Thot of caregivers' outin tmr den i was like, i dun wan to nt get enuff slp again! So i said i dun wan to watch! Den din feel like makin a trip down to grandma's place also alr! Hehe! Did tink a little bout tt factor! Bt mostly jus e thot of gg home early to rest! I like super unfillial! V long nv go down visit ah ma le! :/ bt yeah! E low mood & tired & nt feelin well & e busy wkend.. I decided nt to go! :/.
Yeah! Actually i quite lousy! If i low mood, i wun wan to go for outings & stuff de! & i really will "abscond" many of e times! Bt as proven on wed w OC, actually go le i'll feel happier leh! Bt i jus dun feel like gg! :/ hmm..
Yeah! Bt i try to nt allow myself 撒野! Actually is coz i noe if pangseh, i'll get more negative consequences! Heheh! Jus tt at times, i'll still spoil myself! :p heheheh!
Yeah! Watever! Anw morn was ok! Was chionging e social report! Hehe! Hui en was so cute! She said i shld show tt report to kaiyi! Hahaha! Actually nt my first social report also, heheeh! Bt i do feel more proud of this! Hehe! Coz more info! & i actually did e interview & assessment & everythin myself! :p! Hehe! Bt hui en's sharin w me on wat else i could include helped a lot! :D hehe! Learnt sth! :D
Yeah! So morn was all ok! Hui en asked me if i wanted to take over her interview & i was like in this relaxed mode again, & i shook my head! Aiyo! Thot u wanted to try? Bt proactive? This morn wen i thot of havin to tell kaiyi i wan to see more cases, e desire to improve myself wasn't as strong liao! It's either i was too unrealistic yest! Or i've been daunted today! Heheh!
Yeah! Bt everythin was ok! Den e moment go back office jiu dun feel v well! & den was like nua nua de wen i went to buy lunch tgt w e rest & went back to eat lunch! V restless & went up to longstay to do e stuff kaiyi asked me to do! Den din finish! E clock was slower! & i was late for grp sup bt it's ok! Hehe! Den e mood jus quite low! Hehe! Nt sure if last wk was coz it's my sup, tt's why i found it more energising or my sup more cheeky & will crack jokes, bt today seemed a little less energetic! Bt role play den everyone was awake liao! Oh ya, maybe coz only got 2 sup sit in today! Heheh!
Yeah! & role-play! E really lol part! I tink i've a pre-conceived notion hw role play shld b like! I tried to put myself in e pt's shoes, so i asked them "shld i die?" to me, tt sentence represented an appeal to e MSW to help pt find a reason to live, bt i din noe it was like bringin them back to e first topic again! Yeah!
Den paei sun said it v nicely for me to b less difficult coz if nt, v hard to practise e behind part of contractin & all tt! Yep! & den i realised i was makin it difficult for them! So i cooperated of coz! Hehe!
Yep! I tink e first time i did it was w marian! & i dun tink i was being overly sensitive, after tt she din ask at all le! & b4 she had a qn, she asked paei sun if she could ask tt!
Bt actually, i did feel quite frustrated wen she was speakin! Maybe coz of her tone? Too directive? I nt sure whether i was bringing in my personal feelings into e role play! Bt i was reminded of wat dabong felt! So i tried to b professional! Bt nt sure whether did i still uknowingly revealed my feelings thru my tone, answers or wat or nt! :/ yeah! & tt comment it came coz i was v frustrated w her tryin to ask me all tt i felt wasn't impt to me! Maybe it's frustration why she din get to my underlyin prob - money, maybe it came jus to terkan her - like purposely make things difficult (i tink it did haf a little bit of this component! Coz after i said, & there's silence! I felt tt i seemed to b bringin in my personal feelings! Bt if i really did it, it was unconscious!) yep! Maybe i shld go & apologise! I alr explained myself to everyone during debrief! & initially nicole shared tt she was quite frustrated w me! Coz i was a v difficult client! Bt wen i explained myself, she nodded empathetically! So i felt tt they would haf understood my stand!
Bt after tt e sense i got frm marian was she is bushuang, haha! So i did deliberately avoid walkin out w her in e end also! Yeah! & din run after 43/take to hougang instead! Bt i nt purposely make use of hui wen! I really had e intention of waitin for her! Bt e intention was reinforced coz i din wan to walk out w marian & julia coz of AwkwardnesS!
Yep! Pau used a term "second guessin, triple guessin" yest! Yah lo! Nw i'm guessin whether if i tell marian sorry, will she also tink tt coz i nt v honest, den she also will pretend nth happened!
Hehe! Bt durin debrief, i got acknowledge her point leh! Tt coz money is e cause, if i solve it, i wun haf suicidal thots! Heheh!
Yeah! I was suspectin maybe she is bs w nicole/hui wen? Coz they were debating which area shld they explore w me! E medicine? Or e debt? Hahahah! Nt sure lah! Bt i'll jus go & apologise!
Yah! Actually suddenly feel a little more lifted! My mood! Hehe!
Suddenly feel happier i dunno hw to react to e disappearance of e depression! Lol!
Heheh! Bt really leh! Why so sudden ah?
Bt yah lo!
Hehe! Ok! At least i got pass e depressive part liao! Nw tinkin wat to do wen i'm home! Sleep? Or do work? Bt dunno wat to eat for dinner leh! Throat really feelin terrible! :/
Yep! Anw jus nw dunno if i was bringing in my expectations into e role play! I tink i wanted to make it real realistic! So maybe tt's why i forgot bout e part bout lettin e rest practise their skills! Yeah! Nt sure if i wan to reflect this also! Bt yah, perhaps i'm being too idealistic!
Ok! I go apologise & make myself feel better first! Den i can come back & comment bout hw i felt as a client! Hehe!
Yep! Apologised le! Bt during e session, could feel tt they were tryin to paraphrase & reflect! Tink tt made me more frustrated? Coz i feel like dying nw! & they're usin their skills on me?! Maybe coz i nt client, so i din feel e power of e paraphrasin/reflection! & like i said, maybe coz i too idealistic - i forgot bout e role of e role-play as a tool to practise skills! Jus tryin to enact a real scene! Lol!
Yep! I forgot who was e one who made me connect more? Was it julia? Or nicole? Huiwen was e safe distance feelin! I felt a bit directed by marian! Like she was tryin to exert her authority over me! Maybe tt's why i was reminded of our normal interaction so i was tryin to retaliate! Or maybe it was coz i was in e pt's shoes & i really din like e way she spoke!
Bt it's really bout personality! Bt anw i've seen her in e sayang grp work, i tink she can really empathise! Sincere in sayin, so maybe jus nw coz role-play so no feel tt's why i felt tt she was usin her skills on me! There was jus this air of confidence there tt i wanted to crush perhaps? Izzit linked to humility? She jus gave e sense tt she could control & manage e situation. Hmm.. Bt rrally? Is she really tt good? I dunno if i was sour grapes or i really wanted to let her noe tt she really cannot b able to control & manage everythin (out of kindness). & if tt's e case, my nxt qn is, den m i doin her good by apologisin to her? I tink once i apologise, she would tink tt it was coz it's a difficult pt, nt coz of her style, which is possibly true also! & it bouls down to my value again! Is confidence necessary bad? Wat's wrong w her comin in nt feelin flustered?
Bt anw, paei sun did make me feel empathised! It's her facial expression! & maybe coz i see her as this auntie-motherly-like figure bah! & i'm tt kind, like ppl to say it softly, nicely & be nice to me kind! Yep!
Bt watever! Tt's wat i felt lah! Hahahah! & i shld recognise tt it's jus a role play! I tink maybe i would haf been worse if i were in their position? Yeah! I'm nt criticisin! I jus wan to feedback! Bt i tink nt easy! I'm reminded of kaiyi's comment tt time tt nicole maybe shldn't paraphrase e client's words tt way, & she said tt my sup was being v harsh/bad or sth! Like jus nw e way nicole asked, really nt v realistic, i also asked, i din comment tt she shldn't ask tt way, i scared she nt happy! Yeah!
This is wat my sup always like to ask de lah: hw does this this this/that that that affect me? I heard tt comment tt time, so i din dare to feedback directly anymore! Yep!
& i tink i frustrated everyone enuff jus nw! Still give feedback, maybe will jus irritate them more! :/
Yep! Watever!
Anw! Talkin to huiwen nw bout IMH work! Hehe! Tellin her hw excitin outpatient is! Heheh! Yep! Wonder if i'll haf e courage on Mon to tell my sup i wan to practise harder! & it's back to e issue of who shld sit in for e outpt case! Actually i noe i shld get e priority! Bt, i dare to say meh? I only care bout placating everyone!
Yeah! Jus awaitin reply frm marian! Hahaha! I'm in need of feelin better* hehehe! Or maybe i jus dun wan to b e aggressor! Hahahah!
I'm jus mean lah! Hahaha! Paiseh k!
& as i'm talkin to hui wen, really tink i like IMH alot, & such a pity i'm nt comin back in future! Bt.. E distance also really hell! Can't imagine i've to do this everyday in future! I'll jus die! As in cannot go out & meet ppl! Coz i'll b dead by e end! :p heheh! It's bout being realistic also! Hehe! Yep!
Yeah! I'm waitin to resolve my 心结！so waitin for an ans! Haha! Actually so many occasions got 心结 i also din go & resolve! Bt today wan to! Hahaha! Izzit coz i tink i was v 过份？ hahah! Yep! See wat she says! Bt wun take it too far also! Tt's it! I'm also nt honest, wat's there to expect! Heheh!
Bt anw, yest after talkin to tt pt, i realised tt actually talkin to pt can really b v real & natural! Bt i tink tt's really one extreme end! Tink coz i've been thru her similar experiences & she was an easier pt luh, bt i feel more empowered & i'm startin to believe tt i can build e rapport w e pt, jus by being myself! I can do it de! & nw is bout whether i can overcome e fact tt i noe my sup is sittin next to me or nt! Heheh!
Yeah! & so anyway, wat's up for dinner? Heneh!
Dun like den dun like lo, why do i mind whether i'm being loved or nt wen i aren't lovin in e first place? Heh!
This is hw contradictory, greedy & idealistic i'm! Heh!
Yep! Jus ramblin on & on! I tink maybe i shld stop? Hahah!
Yeah! Hmm.. Placement is comin to an end! 2.5 more wks! Yep! Push myself towards burn out izzit? Hheheheheh! Haf e courage to even say or nt? Useless ass! Hahaha!
I'm like TTH, STH-ing to myself! Lol! Actually i'm jus writin down my internal thots! Lol!
Shit!! I tink i din even bring back e sheet of paper - e prog list for tmr! Goodness!!
Anw, i'm ramblin on & on coz of insecurity, wat shld i do ah? Hahaha! K! Stop! U can do it! :) k! Go read other blog entries! :)
Kheng.
Asked pingping for permission to rant! Bt rant till e end! I also din tell her e real thing i was pertubed about! :p hehe! Yeah! Cannot tell luh! Haf to respect confidentiality! Nt as if we signed anythin! Bt i jus tink i've bitched really a lot! Shldn't raise this up any further! Yep! Anw, wat i told pingping:
Actually i nt particularly upset or anythin! Hehehhe! Jus quite sian! Tink nt enuff sleep! Den sore throat! So dun quite feel like talkin also! Hehe
Den jus nw durin e grp supervision, i role played as e client! Coz i din wan to tink! So e rest let me be! Hehe!
Den i jus played e client! Den it's supposed to b suicide intervention! So i jus kept askin them "should i die" coz i felt tt tt was sth tt e patient would wan to noe! Hehe!
Den ended up makin things v difficult for them! Bt it wasn't my intention at all! Hehe! I did explain myself! Dun tink they r upset w me now also! Hahah! Bt yah!
Heheh! Ok lah! Actually also nth! :p jus tt dun feel v comfortable & well! :/
Yep! I din tell pingping! Coz i dun wan to b mean-er! Yep! & i tink i've been burdenin her enuff alr! :/
Aiyo! I'm really e kind of emo kid tt nicole they all dun like e most! & i'm really like depression sia! Seriously! Bt i'm fine! Jus feelin low! Actually my mood fluctuations have been v big recently! I tink v much coz i blogged everyday izzit? So i can see them being laid out properly! In comparison w one another! :/
Bt yeah!
Anw i'm nt gg ah ma's hs! Coz jus nw gor called me & i wasn't feelin quite well! Thot of caregivers' outin tmr den i was like, i dun wan to nt get enuff slp again! So i said i dun wan to watch! Den din feel like makin a trip down to grandma's place also alr! Hehe! Did tink a little bout tt factor! Bt mostly jus e thot of gg home early to rest! I like super unfillial! V long nv go down visit ah ma le! :/ bt yeah! E low mood & tired & nt feelin well & e busy wkend.. I decided nt to go! :/.
Yeah! Actually i quite lousy! If i low mood, i wun wan to go for outings & stuff de! & i really will "abscond" many of e times! Bt as proven on wed w OC, actually go le i'll feel happier leh! Bt i jus dun feel like gg! :/ hmm..
Yeah! Bt i try to nt allow myself 撒野! Actually is coz i noe if pangseh, i'll get more negative consequences! Heheh! Jus tt at times, i'll still spoil myself! :p heheheh!
Yeah! Watever! Anw morn was ok! Was chionging e social report! Hehe! Hui en was so cute! She said i shld show tt report to kaiyi! Hahaha! Actually nt my first social report also, heheeh! Bt i do feel more proud of this! Hehe! Coz more info! & i actually did e interview & assessment & everythin myself! :p! Hehe! Bt hui en's sharin w me on wat else i could include helped a lot! :D hehe! Learnt sth! :D
Yeah! So morn was all ok! Hui en asked me if i wanted to take over her interview & i was like in this relaxed mode again, & i shook my head! Aiyo! Thot u wanted to try? Bt proactive? This morn wen i thot of havin to tell kaiyi i wan to see more cases, e desire to improve myself wasn't as strong liao! It's either i was too unrealistic yest! Or i've been daunted today! Heheh!
Yeah! Bt everythin was ok! Den e moment go back office jiu dun feel v well! & den was like nua nua de wen i went to buy lunch tgt w e rest & went back to eat lunch! V restless & went up to longstay to do e stuff kaiyi asked me to do! Den din finish! E clock was slower! & i was late for grp sup bt it's ok! Hehe! Den e mood jus quite low! Hehe! Nt sure if last wk was coz it's my sup, tt's why i found it more energising or my sup more cheeky & will crack jokes, bt today seemed a little less energetic! Bt role play den everyone was awake liao! Oh ya, maybe coz only got 2 sup sit in today! Heheh!
Yeah! & role-play! E really lol part! I tink i've a pre-conceived notion hw role play shld b like! I tried to put myself in e pt's shoes, so i asked them "shld i die?" to me, tt sentence represented an appeal to e MSW to help pt find a reason to live, bt i din noe it was like bringin them back to e first topic again! Yeah!
Den paei sun said it v nicely for me to b less difficult coz if nt, v hard to practise e behind part of contractin & all tt! Yep! & den i realised i was makin it difficult for them! So i cooperated of coz! Hehe!
Yep! I tink e first time i did it was w marian! & i dun tink i was being overly sensitive, after tt she din ask at all le! & b4 she had a qn, she asked paei sun if she could ask tt!
Bt actually, i did feel quite frustrated wen she was speakin! Maybe coz of her tone? Too directive? I nt sure whether i was bringing in my personal feelings into e role play! Bt i was reminded of wat dabong felt! So i tried to b professional! Bt nt sure whether did i still uknowingly revealed my feelings thru my tone, answers or wat or nt! :/ yeah! & tt comment it came coz i was v frustrated w her tryin to ask me all tt i felt wasn't impt to me! Maybe it's frustration why she din get to my underlyin prob - money, maybe it came jus to terkan her - like purposely make things difficult (i tink it did haf a little bit of this component! Coz after i said, & there's silence! I felt tt i seemed to b bringin in my personal feelings! Bt if i really did it, it was unconscious!) yep! Maybe i shld go & apologise! I alr explained myself to everyone during debrief! & initially nicole shared tt she was quite frustrated w me! Coz i was a v difficult client! Bt wen i explained myself, she nodded empathetically! So i felt tt they would haf understood my stand!
Bt after tt e sense i got frm marian was she is bushuang, haha! So i did deliberately avoid walkin out w her in e end also! Yeah! & din run after 43/take to hougang instead! Bt i nt purposely make use of hui wen! I really had e intention of waitin for her! Bt e intention was reinforced coz i din wan to walk out w marian & julia coz of AwkwardnesS!
Yep! Pau used a term "second guessin, triple guessin" yest! Yah lo! Nw i'm guessin whether if i tell marian sorry, will she also tink tt coz i nt v honest, den she also will pretend nth happened!
Hehe! Bt durin debrief, i got acknowledge her point leh! Tt coz money is e cause, if i solve it, i wun haf suicidal thots! Heheh!
Yeah! I was suspectin maybe she is bs w nicole/hui wen? Coz they were debating which area shld they explore w me! E medicine? Or e debt? Hahahah! Nt sure lah! Bt i'll jus go & apologise!
Yah! Actually suddenly feel a little more lifted! My mood! Hehe!
Suddenly feel happier i dunno hw to react to e disappearance of e depression! Lol!
Heheh! Bt really leh! Why so sudden ah?
Bt yah lo!
Hehe! Ok! At least i got pass e depressive part liao! Nw tinkin wat to do wen i'm home! Sleep? Or do work? Bt dunno wat to eat for dinner leh! Throat really feelin terrible! :/
Yep! Anw jus nw dunno if i was bringing in my expectations into e role play! I tink i wanted to make it real realistic! So maybe tt's why i forgot bout e part bout lettin e rest practise their skills! Yeah! Nt sure if i wan to reflect this also! Bt yah, perhaps i'm being too idealistic!
Ok! I go apologise & make myself feel better first! Den i can come back & comment bout hw i felt as a client! Hehe!
Yep! Apologised le! Bt during e session, could feel tt they were tryin to paraphrase & reflect! Tink tt made me more frustrated? Coz i feel like dying nw! & they're usin their skills on me?! Maybe coz i nt client, so i din feel e power of e paraphrasin/reflection! & like i said, maybe coz i too idealistic - i forgot bout e role of e role-play as a tool to practise skills! Jus tryin to enact a real scene! Lol!
Yep! I forgot who was e one who made me connect more? Was it julia? Or nicole? Huiwen was e safe distance feelin! I felt a bit directed by marian! Like she was tryin to exert her authority over me! Maybe tt's why i was reminded of our normal interaction so i was tryin to retaliate! Or maybe it was coz i was in e pt's shoes & i really din like e way she spoke!
Bt it's really bout personality! Bt anw i've seen her in e sayang grp work, i tink she can really empathise! Sincere in sayin, so maybe jus nw coz role-play so no feel tt's why i felt tt she was usin her skills on me! There was jus this air of confidence there tt i wanted to crush perhaps? Izzit linked to humility? She jus gave e sense tt she could control & manage e situation. Hmm.. Bt rrally? Is she really tt good? I dunno if i was sour grapes or i really wanted to let her noe tt she really cannot b able to control & manage everythin (out of kindness). & if tt's e case, my nxt qn is, den m i doin her good by apologisin to her? I tink once i apologise, she would tink tt it was coz it's a difficult pt, nt coz of her style, which is possibly true also! & it bouls down to my value again! Is confidence necessary bad? Wat's wrong w her comin in nt feelin flustered?
Bt anw, paei sun did make me feel empathised! It's her facial expression! & maybe coz i see her as this auntie-motherly-like figure bah! & i'm tt kind, like ppl to say it softly, nicely & be nice to me kind! Yep!
Bt watever! Tt's wat i felt lah! Hahahah! & i shld recognise tt it's jus a role play! I tink maybe i would haf been worse if i were in their position? Yeah! I'm nt criticisin! I jus wan to feedback! Bt i tink nt easy! I'm reminded of kaiyi's comment tt time tt nicole maybe shldn't paraphrase e client's words tt way, & she said tt my sup was being v harsh/bad or sth! Like jus nw e way nicole asked, really nt v realistic, i also asked, i din comment tt she shldn't ask tt way, i scared she nt happy! Yeah!
This is wat my sup always like to ask de lah: hw does this this this/that that that affect me? I heard tt comment tt time, so i din dare to feedback directly anymore! Yep!
& i tink i frustrated everyone enuff jus nw! Still give feedback, maybe will jus irritate them more! :/
Yep! Watever!
Anw! Talkin to huiwen nw bout IMH work! Hehe! Tellin her hw excitin outpatient is! Heheh! Yep! Wonder if i'll haf e courage on Mon to tell my sup i wan to practise harder! & it's back to e issue of who shld sit in for e outpt case! Actually i noe i shld get e priority! Bt, i dare to say meh? I only care bout placating everyone!
Yeah! Jus awaitin reply frm marian! Hahaha! I'm in need of feelin better* hehehe! Or maybe i jus dun wan to b e aggressor! Hahahah!
I'm jus mean lah! Hahaha! Paiseh k!
& as i'm talkin to hui wen, really tink i like IMH alot, & such a pity i'm nt comin back in future! Bt.. E distance also really hell! Can't imagine i've to do this everyday in future! I'll jus die! As in cannot go out & meet ppl! Coz i'll b dead by e end! :p heheh! It's bout being realistic also! Hehe! Yep!
Yeah! I'm waitin to resolve my 心结！so waitin for an ans! Haha! Actually so many occasions got 心结 i also din go & resolve! Bt today wan to! Hahaha! Izzit coz i tink i was v 过份？ hahah! Yep! See wat she says! Bt wun take it too far also! Tt's it! I'm also nt honest, wat's there to expect! Heheh!
Bt anw, yest after talkin to tt pt, i realised tt actually talkin to pt can really b v real & natural! Bt i tink tt's really one extreme end! Tink coz i've been thru her similar experiences & she was an easier pt luh, bt i feel more empowered & i'm startin to believe tt i can build e rapport w e pt, jus by being myself! I can do it de! & nw is bout whether i can overcome e fact tt i noe my sup is sittin next to me or nt! Heheh!
Yeah! & so anyway, wat's up for dinner? Heneh!
Dun like den dun like lo, why do i mind whether i'm being loved or nt wen i aren't lovin in e first place? Heh!
This is hw contradictory, greedy & idealistic i'm! Heh!
Yep! Jus ramblin on & on! I tink maybe i shld stop? Hahah!
Yeah! Hmm.. Placement is comin to an end! 2.5 more wks! Yep! Push myself towards burn out izzit? Hheheheheh! Haf e courage to even say or nt? Useless ass! Hahaha!
I'm like TTH, STH-ing to myself! Lol! Actually i'm jus writin down my internal thots! Lol!
Shit!! I tink i din even bring back e sheet of paper - e prog list for tmr! Goodness!!
Anw, i'm ramblin on & on coz of insecurity, wat shld i do ah? Hahaha! K! Stop! U can do it! :) k! Go read other blog entries! :)
Kheng.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
:)) continued
Oops! Accidentally clicked "send" jus nw! Incomplete post!
Yep! Bt den came e issue of both marian & i both needin to sit in! I gave e opport to her coz 2 ppl sit in there really v weird! I tink gotta respect e pt also? Nth mean bt 3 ppl is like?! Bt shld i say i got rewarded? Heheh! Coz saw janey(i dunno hw to spell her name! :( ) see super "exciting" cases! I tink exposure! Heheh! So was quite cool! Heheh!
Den at 3pm, hui en called! Asked me if i wanted to do e social report for e girl i spoke to! She is to b discharge tmr! Den was thinkin wanted to go back! Bt thot it was rude! So i stayed till janey finished e 2 cases! & it's 330! I went back! Den talked to hui en, den went up to long stay & did wat i was supposed to do first! Den e visitors record i jus decided to go up tmr afternoon at 2pm! Den i came down! Looked at e system, Talked to hui en & hui en sounded like it's better for me to speak to e pt! & luckily i did!
Wen i was preparin, brandon came! & did a short update session w me! Lol! Hehe! I wanted to tell him, can i update u tmr? Coz i got sth to do! Bt thot it's rude so i jus finished it w him! Den after tt, i looked thru, touched up, thot of hw i wanted to approach each topic, den went up! & thot of hw i wanted to ask along e way! Hehe!
& it's quite a nice session! I managed to bridge in into e topics rather nicely! Tink coz i was comfortable talkin to e pt! Halfway i thot i was too casual, & i thot i had to maintain my professional image! So i pulled myself back! Did a lot of reflection of feelings & all tt! :D hehe! More of paraphrase! Actually nt tt hard it seems, to catch out e topic! Hehehh! Might b weird bt e pt would agree! :p hehe! Can b better improved! :D hehhe!
Yep! So nt bad! Din panick really a lot! I tink maybe coz no one sat in, so i dun feel pressurised izzit? Heheh! Bt all tt kaiyi has encouraged me & empowered me to do, i believed it all helped! :D reminder tt i shld b actively tryin! Hehehe!
Yay! I will write in my reflections! Heheh!
Jus nw brandon asked if got any qn, den i said no! Coz busy! & also i tink nth much tt i wan to process (in front of marian! & also worth processin?) hehe! As in i tink i wan to do w my sup/let it slide! I dunno wat i wanted to process also luh! :p hehehe!
Yeah! :D
Ok! Tink i jus wan to go & tell kaiyi nxt wk i wan to see more cases! I feel tt my exposure is nt enuff! As in my learnin still quite limited!
I tink inpatient different, coz i've themes in mind tt i wan to explore! & maybe easier to b talkin on them? & maybe i've e luxury of time? Bt outpatient different leh! I need to try! Den i will noe whether i'm able to translate e learnin over or nt! Hmm.. I'll do tt in my today's reflections! :)
Bt tmr is gg to b a busy day! Tmr morn chiong e social report! Den tink need discuss w hui en! Den go up ward! Hopefully will b a busy & fruitful morn! *winks*
Den 2pm need go longstay & settle e thing! Den 3pm supervision! & thinkin of finishin e other stuff over e wkend! Like e longstay nt sure if kaiyi wants me to input! I would assume so! I try see whether I can log in to e system using her pw or nt! :p hehe!
Jus wan to b cheeky! :p heheheh!
Yep! I constantly tink of my sup tho she isn't ard leh! Hahahah! Oh ya! I mus call e pt's hd! & ask brandon if i shld call e pt & whether can ask her hd bout e pt's daily living or nt! Hehe!
Yep! Anw told pau jus nw bout e feelin threatened part! :p heheheheh! Bt nt inclined to blog bout it! Hehe!
Actually i aren't a good fren lah! Haha! I bitched! Bt tt's really coz it is on a level tt i TBTH! Heheheh! Oops! Nvm! I admit i'm mean & evil! :p heheh!
Yep! Tmr gg to b excitin! Today was really quite seh wen i had to go up to see e pt! Bt i jus went ahead! Coz i wanted to so tt report out! Hehe! Nt tt i was in dire need to practise writing e social report, bt i jus felt like doing it! Heh! So i went ahead! Heheheh! Even tho i knew if i dun go up, my 5 to 530 slot would b fully utilised also! Heheh! Yep!
Heh! Ok! Tt's it! :D reachin home soon! :D bath & sleep! Tmr den wake up early go work & churn out e social report! *winks*
kheng:)
Anw! It feels good to hear e pt said tt she felt happy talkin to me! I did wat i wanted, at e same time got e info i needed, practised e skills i wanted to & everythin! :D hehehe! Yay! I noe it's coz she's an easy pt! Bt i did it! Hehehe! At least good attempt rite? Hehehe! :p *winks*
Yep! Bt den came e issue of both marian & i both needin to sit in! I gave e opport to her coz 2 ppl sit in there really v weird! I tink gotta respect e pt also? Nth mean bt 3 ppl is like?! Bt shld i say i got rewarded? Heheh! Coz saw janey(i dunno hw to spell her name! :( ) see super "exciting" cases! I tink exposure! Heheh! So was quite cool! Heheh!
Den at 3pm, hui en called! Asked me if i wanted to do e social report for e girl i spoke to! She is to b discharge tmr! Den was thinkin wanted to go back! Bt thot it was rude! So i stayed till janey finished e 2 cases! & it's 330! I went back! Den talked to hui en, den went up to long stay & did wat i was supposed to do first! Den e visitors record i jus decided to go up tmr afternoon at 2pm! Den i came down! Looked at e system, Talked to hui en & hui en sounded like it's better for me to speak to e pt! & luckily i did!
Wen i was preparin, brandon came! & did a short update session w me! Lol! Hehe! I wanted to tell him, can i update u tmr? Coz i got sth to do! Bt thot it's rude so i jus finished it w him! Den after tt, i looked thru, touched up, thot of hw i wanted to approach each topic, den went up! & thot of hw i wanted to ask along e way! Hehe!
& it's quite a nice session! I managed to bridge in into e topics rather nicely! Tink coz i was comfortable talkin to e pt! Halfway i thot i was too casual, & i thot i had to maintain my professional image! So i pulled myself back! Did a lot of reflection of feelings & all tt! :D hehe! More of paraphrase! Actually nt tt hard it seems, to catch out e topic! Hehehh! Might b weird bt e pt would agree! :p hehe! Can b better improved! :D hehhe!
Yep! So nt bad! Din panick really a lot! I tink maybe coz no one sat in, so i dun feel pressurised izzit? Heheh! Bt all tt kaiyi has encouraged me & empowered me to do, i believed it all helped! :D reminder tt i shld b actively tryin! Hehehe!
Yay! I will write in my reflections! Heheh!
Jus nw brandon asked if got any qn, den i said no! Coz busy! & also i tink nth much tt i wan to process (in front of marian! & also worth processin?) hehe! As in i tink i wan to do w my sup/let it slide! I dunno wat i wanted to process also luh! :p hehehe!
Yeah! :D
Ok! Tink i jus wan to go & tell kaiyi nxt wk i wan to see more cases! I feel tt my exposure is nt enuff! As in my learnin still quite limited!
I tink inpatient different, coz i've themes in mind tt i wan to explore! & maybe easier to b talkin on them? & maybe i've e luxury of time? Bt outpatient different leh! I need to try! Den i will noe whether i'm able to translate e learnin over or nt! Hmm.. I'll do tt in my today's reflections! :)
Bt tmr is gg to b a busy day! Tmr morn chiong e social report! Den tink need discuss w hui en! Den go up ward! Hopefully will b a busy & fruitful morn! *winks*
Den 2pm need go longstay & settle e thing! Den 3pm supervision! & thinkin of finishin e other stuff over e wkend! Like e longstay nt sure if kaiyi wants me to input! I would assume so! I try see whether I can log in to e system using her pw or nt! :p hehe!
Jus wan to b cheeky! :p heheheh!
Yep! I constantly tink of my sup tho she isn't ard leh! Hahahah! Oh ya! I mus call e pt's hd! & ask brandon if i shld call e pt & whether can ask her hd bout e pt's daily living or nt! Hehe!
Yep! Anw told pau jus nw bout e feelin threatened part! :p heheheheh! Bt nt inclined to blog bout it! Hehe!
Actually i aren't a good fren lah! Haha! I bitched! Bt tt's really coz it is on a level tt i TBTH! Heheheh! Oops! Nvm! I admit i'm mean & evil! :p heheh!
Yep! Tmr gg to b excitin! Today was really quite seh wen i had to go up to see e pt! Bt i jus went ahead! Coz i wanted to so tt report out! Hehe! Nt tt i was in dire need to practise writing e social report, bt i jus felt like doing it! Heh! So i went ahead! Heheheh! Even tho i knew if i dun go up, my 5 to 530 slot would b fully utilised also! Heheh! Yep!
Heh! Ok! Tt's it! :D reachin home soon! :D bath & sleep! Tmr den wake up early go work & churn out e social report! *winks*
kheng:)
Anw! It feels good to hear e pt said tt she felt happy talkin to me! I did wat i wanted, at e same time got e info i needed, practised e skills i wanted to & everythin! :D hehehe! Yay! I noe it's coz she's an easy pt! Bt i did it! Hehehe! At least good attempt rite? Hehehe! :p *winks*
:))
Heheh! Yay! Met up w pau! :D heheh! Coz she looked quite sian wen i reached! Den i told myself nt to b blabbering! & i tink it helped! Hehehe! Mental prep & also took on a more willin to listen mode! Hehe! Today was more of a sharing & we spoke our minds w.o spammin each other i feel! Heheheh! Tink coz i din ramble so i was smiling! Heheh! So pau asked qn! & i answered to e point! *winks*
hehe! Bt had a v happy chat! Problem solving, learnin new things, ranting, sharin our fears/our hidden sides... Hehehe! :)
Yep! I bitched again! I tink i wun b absolved of my karma liao! :/ hehehe! Bt i really jus wanted to complain! Bt i tink it revealed more of a weak side of me! A nt so perfect side of me? Can i jus allow myself to bitch more? :p hehehe! I cannot nt bitch leh! Or rather e desire is so strong! It's like i noe nt right, bt i still wan to do it! Heheheh! Bleh! Jus await my karma rite? My 定力 nt strong enuff! :p heheh!
Bt anw! Yep! Today really epic! Morn supposed to go GWR, & maybe go ward w hui en till 11 den come back for caregivers outing briefin! Hehe! Den saw clement & he said he bring me up to e ward & asked if i really needed to go GWR! Den went up! Bt goodness! Coz nurses nt free, came down in half an hour. & frm 9-11 i had nth to do! Coz hui en went up at 1015? Den it's like by 11 i needed to b down! So i din go up! Bt i did my sup log! It had an impact ob me also! Made me reflect! & really ashamed why is it tt until nw, i'm still at this stage! Things tt i've been sayin since wk 3, i still haven't do them!
Den briefin! Den discuss game! Talk crap! Lunch! Came back went w May out to see pt!
hehe! Bt had a v happy chat! Problem solving, learnin new things, ranting, sharin our fears/our hidden sides... Hehehe! :)
Yep! I bitched again! I tink i wun b absolved of my karma liao! :/ hehehe! Bt i really jus wanted to complain! Bt i tink it revealed more of a weak side of me! A nt so perfect side of me? Can i jus allow myself to bitch more? :p hehehe! I cannot nt bitch leh! Or rather e desire is so strong! It's like i noe nt right, bt i still wan to do it! Heheheh! Bleh! Jus await my karma rite? My 定力 nt strong enuff! :p heheh!
Bt anw! Yep! Today really epic! Morn supposed to go GWR, & maybe go ward w hui en till 11 den come back for caregivers outing briefin! Hehe! Den saw clement & he said he bring me up to e ward & asked if i really needed to go GWR! Den went up! Bt goodness! Coz nurses nt free, came down in half an hour. & frm 9-11 i had nth to do! Coz hui en went up at 1015? Den it's like by 11 i needed to b down! So i din go up! Bt i did my sup log! It had an impact ob me also! Made me reflect! & really ashamed why is it tt until nw, i'm still at this stage! Things tt i've been sayin since wk 3, i still haven't do them!
Den briefin! Den discuss game! Talk crap! Lunch! Came back went w May out to see pt!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Confused
Omg! I'm confused max!
I went to see case! Den kim yoong was seein one alr! Found it rude to jus go in so i waited till she end! Den i asked her bt she din give a definite ans! I tink she did, jus nt v directly! So i feel v unsettled! I tink i'm findin e reason! Hahahah! Lol!!
Like she asked e pt some things, i was taken aback by e way she ended e session! & coz of some practice differences! Like gettin pt to fill up e form, & gettin them to mail e forms back! I asked wat was it tt she wanted me to ask, & even gave her a session plan, bt no definite ans! Omg! Lost!
Bt she was really v sweet & nice to e pt & family! I tink it does reveal tt actually i'm nt v comfortable w kaiyi's style totally yet! Coz i prefer to go in w e soft approach! & jus nw wen kim yoong came in, i started questionin myself whether izzit coz i did it too unfeelingly! Omg! & whether was i askin weirdly again! Hehe! Bt at least no fear wen i had to take on e case in front of a new worker! Heheh! Awesome!
Aiyo! Actually i'm really quite lost & abandoned leh! Today i asked clement to b nice to ask me along wen they go for row call bt he din! Den i jus followed secretly behind, i really was watchin out for them non-stop! :/ m i being too dependent? Bt hw i noe wat time they gg? :(
Den after tt left first coz i was walkin in front! Den v weird to stay behind & listen to them talk rite? So i walked bt realisd no tag! So i went toilet deliberately! If nt i so anti-social like tt! Went ward, was ok! Busy morning! & helped hui en w e translation & stuff! After lunch came back! Nth to do! Till hui en came & asked me to go help her w e translation case! I was waitin for clement! Bt couldn't find him! Den after seein e case w hui en, she helped me text clement! So he doesn't haf intention to bring me up! As in he thot since kaiyi alr emailed e nurses at e longstay ward, i could go up myself! Lol! Goodness! So i've to do it myself again! Hang on kheng! I can lah! Coz kaiyi alr 打过招呼! Hehe! & e task she set me nt v tough also! Yep!
Den i was thinkin whether to go outpatient or go to e ward! It's like 4pm at tt time alr! So i went outpatient! Coz din tink 1.5hrs enuff for me to clear e stuff! Den went, den they v busy! Den they asked me go find kim yoong! Den started my confusion journey!
Den after tt i wanted to sit in for liang yi's case, bt doris said is forensic case! Den wen i said i wanna go back, michael said got case! Forensic! Of coz i wanted to sit in, bt i scared disturb mah! I really super thin-skin! Strugglin w all e feelin paiseh man totally! Den i asked & doris said she alr started seein e pt liao! So i decided to go back!
So came back feelin lost! Bt hui en verified stuf w me & den we went to meet siew khim! She spammed a lot bout confidence & recognising wat we can do & shld do! Ended up i was even more lost! I knew wat she was sayin, bt i felt tired! Feel tired for her! & of coz was comparin sup - hers & kaiyi's style!
Den i tink of kaiyi's comment on "so little reflections on ethics ah?" hahahah! I assume she wrote tt & it mattered to her coz she conducted tt session? Hehe! E reason why i din write coz there was no particular thing tt struck me! Hehe! Was it a runnin out of time also? Hahaha! Coz i was chiongin my reflections! Haha! Initially thot of doin "corrections" & submitting more to her in this wk's reflections! Bt nw thinkin she sure will ask me why i nv include in previous wk's! Hahahah! See hw first! Whether i wan to include tt in or nt!
Tink tmr will b busy! Hehe! GWR! Hui en's ward, 11 has caregivers' outing briefin! I wan to stAy at hui en's ward! Tink tmr will haf things to do! Like talk to family/pt & stuff! Den no chance le! Afternoon thinkin of gg to do e long stay ward stuff! Den after tt if got time den go outpatient?
Hui en was nice! She said she could go up to e longstay ward w me if i needed! Bt i could go up on my own, so din wan to trouble her!
Really is all different styles! Feel better nw! I was sayin i wan my sup to debrief! Bt i realised if kaiyi is ard, i also wun go to her de! Coz scared she busy & scared this, scared tt! Really no time le! I need to b more proactive! Wk 7 le still cannot conduct basic medifund?! Actually can lah.. Bt like still v unsure! Wen kaiyi is back, ask her again! Maybe i shld reduce e no of days i go up to e wards! Shld i go GWR tmr? Sure go there sleep de! Bt so early go long stay also dunno whether they free or nt! Argh!! How ah?!
& nw haf to settle other stuff! E disability project de esp! I'm startin to feel real skeptical! How ah? Bt i'll do watever i can! Den e rest wait & see!
Bt really total lost! Really leh! If kaiyi is ard, i might nt approach her! Bt nw she nt ard, i cannot approach anyone! Actually brandon i can go to him! Bt regardin e feelin lost bt, i wan to speak to kaiyi leh! Aiyo! I'm so lost & confused!
Thinkin of takin 156 to clementi to meet them! So tt i can haf time on bus to sort out my thots & stuff! Bt it's gg to take v long! Shld i?
Dun lah! E jam is jus gg to take me till day break! I will alight at bishan! Arghh! Lost & confused!
Actually nw not lost & confused le.. Jus feelin v.. I dunno hw to describe also leh! Bt yep! Hopin kim yoong will b able to talk to me tmr? Huiwen asked me to request for discussion on e post-it, bt kaiyi said b4, find her for supervision! Coz i tink she dun wan to trouble e other colleagues & i tink it's only fair so! Aiyo.. Bt this thing i've to find kim yoong for e ans rite? Bt i tink If i approach kaiyi, i might b able to resolve e issue also leh, indirectly lah, coz she is nt e 当事人. Bt i believe she will b able to address my feelings/thots bout e difference in practice, coz she represents e other side of e practice! Bt i'll process a little w myself first! Wen there's a difference in practice, i've to ask myself whether wat is e diff, wat does tt diff mean, izzit really polarised(on extreme ends, 势不两立？) if so/if nt, wat is it tt i've to overcome/process? Which approach m i gg to take & why? Wat is really affectin me? Is my confidence being injured? Why? M i thinkin of being real lousy in front of another colleague - does her opinion really matter?
Aiyo.. Process urself first! Dun b so dependent on kaiyi! I'm nt sayin brandon can't process it! Bt i wan to confide in kaiyi more! Goodness! "Confide"! Hmm.. M i blurring e lines/expectations again? Wat if kaiyi dun empathise w me e same way tt day w my grp work experience? Hahahaha!
Bt i tink i'm copin better w this! No need supervision specially on this! Tho i might raise it up in my reflections still! Heeh!
Bt my learnin really nt steep enuff! Nxt wk maybe will change plans a little & discuss w kaiyi or sth! Hehe! Yeah! Why m i still so hesistant ah? I'm thinkin today if kaiyi was at work, i would haf other challenges/difficulties also! Goodness! I need to b more thick-skinned!!! Jiayou kheng!
Kk! Stop! Haf to reply whatsapp msg-es! :/ tonnes of things to do! Rahh!!
Kheng.
I went to see case! Den kim yoong was seein one alr! Found it rude to jus go in so i waited till she end! Den i asked her bt she din give a definite ans! I tink she did, jus nt v directly! So i feel v unsettled! I tink i'm findin e reason! Hahahah! Lol!!
Like she asked e pt some things, i was taken aback by e way she ended e session! & coz of some practice differences! Like gettin pt to fill up e form, & gettin them to mail e forms back! I asked wat was it tt she wanted me to ask, & even gave her a session plan, bt no definite ans! Omg! Lost!
Bt she was really v sweet & nice to e pt & family! I tink it does reveal tt actually i'm nt v comfortable w kaiyi's style totally yet! Coz i prefer to go in w e soft approach! & jus nw wen kim yoong came in, i started questionin myself whether izzit coz i did it too unfeelingly! Omg! & whether was i askin weirdly again! Hehe! Bt at least no fear wen i had to take on e case in front of a new worker! Heheh! Awesome!
Aiyo! Actually i'm really quite lost & abandoned leh! Today i asked clement to b nice to ask me along wen they go for row call bt he din! Den i jus followed secretly behind, i really was watchin out for them non-stop! :/ m i being too dependent? Bt hw i noe wat time they gg? :(
Den after tt left first coz i was walkin in front! Den v weird to stay behind & listen to them talk rite? So i walked bt realisd no tag! So i went toilet deliberately! If nt i so anti-social like tt! Went ward, was ok! Busy morning! & helped hui en w e translation & stuff! After lunch came back! Nth to do! Till hui en came & asked me to go help her w e translation case! I was waitin for clement! Bt couldn't find him! Den after seein e case w hui en, she helped me text clement! So he doesn't haf intention to bring me up! As in he thot since kaiyi alr emailed e nurses at e longstay ward, i could go up myself! Lol! Goodness! So i've to do it myself again! Hang on kheng! I can lah! Coz kaiyi alr 打过招呼! Hehe! & e task she set me nt v tough also! Yep!
Den i was thinkin whether to go outpatient or go to e ward! It's like 4pm at tt time alr! So i went outpatient! Coz din tink 1.5hrs enuff for me to clear e stuff! Den went, den they v busy! Den they asked me go find kim yoong! Den started my confusion journey!
Den after tt i wanted to sit in for liang yi's case, bt doris said is forensic case! Den wen i said i wanna go back, michael said got case! Forensic! Of coz i wanted to sit in, bt i scared disturb mah! I really super thin-skin! Strugglin w all e feelin paiseh man totally! Den i asked & doris said she alr started seein e pt liao! So i decided to go back!
So came back feelin lost! Bt hui en verified stuf w me & den we went to meet siew khim! She spammed a lot bout confidence & recognising wat we can do & shld do! Ended up i was even more lost! I knew wat she was sayin, bt i felt tired! Feel tired for her! & of coz was comparin sup - hers & kaiyi's style!
Den i tink of kaiyi's comment on "so little reflections on ethics ah?" hahahah! I assume she wrote tt & it mattered to her coz she conducted tt session? Hehe! E reason why i din write coz there was no particular thing tt struck me! Hehe! Was it a runnin out of time also? Hahaha! Coz i was chiongin my reflections! Haha! Initially thot of doin "corrections" & submitting more to her in this wk's reflections! Bt nw thinkin she sure will ask me why i nv include in previous wk's! Hahahah! See hw first! Whether i wan to include tt in or nt!
Tink tmr will b busy! Hehe! GWR! Hui en's ward, 11 has caregivers' outing briefin! I wan to stAy at hui en's ward! Tink tmr will haf things to do! Like talk to family/pt & stuff! Den no chance le! Afternoon thinkin of gg to do e long stay ward stuff! Den after tt if got time den go outpatient?
Hui en was nice! She said she could go up to e longstay ward w me if i needed! Bt i could go up on my own, so din wan to trouble her!
Really is all different styles! Feel better nw! I was sayin i wan my sup to debrief! Bt i realised if kaiyi is ard, i also wun go to her de! Coz scared she busy & scared this, scared tt! Really no time le! I need to b more proactive! Wk 7 le still cannot conduct basic medifund?! Actually can lah.. Bt like still v unsure! Wen kaiyi is back, ask her again! Maybe i shld reduce e no of days i go up to e wards! Shld i go GWR tmr? Sure go there sleep de! Bt so early go long stay also dunno whether they free or nt! Argh!! How ah?!
& nw haf to settle other stuff! E disability project de esp! I'm startin to feel real skeptical! How ah? Bt i'll do watever i can! Den e rest wait & see!
Bt really total lost! Really leh! If kaiyi is ard, i might nt approach her! Bt nw she nt ard, i cannot approach anyone! Actually brandon i can go to him! Bt regardin e feelin lost bt, i wan to speak to kaiyi leh! Aiyo! I'm so lost & confused!
Thinkin of takin 156 to clementi to meet them! So tt i can haf time on bus to sort out my thots & stuff! Bt it's gg to take v long! Shld i?
Dun lah! E jam is jus gg to take me till day break! I will alight at bishan! Arghh! Lost & confused!
Actually nw not lost & confused le.. Jus feelin v.. I dunno hw to describe also leh! Bt yep! Hopin kim yoong will b able to talk to me tmr? Huiwen asked me to request for discussion on e post-it, bt kaiyi said b4, find her for supervision! Coz i tink she dun wan to trouble e other colleagues & i tink it's only fair so! Aiyo.. Bt this thing i've to find kim yoong for e ans rite? Bt i tink If i approach kaiyi, i might b able to resolve e issue also leh, indirectly lah, coz she is nt e 当事人. Bt i believe she will b able to address my feelings/thots bout e difference in practice, coz she represents e other side of e practice! Bt i'll process a little w myself first! Wen there's a difference in practice, i've to ask myself whether wat is e diff, wat does tt diff mean, izzit really polarised(on extreme ends, 势不两立？) if so/if nt, wat is it tt i've to overcome/process? Which approach m i gg to take & why? Wat is really affectin me? Is my confidence being injured? Why? M i thinkin of being real lousy in front of another colleague - does her opinion really matter?
Aiyo.. Process urself first! Dun b so dependent on kaiyi! I'm nt sayin brandon can't process it! Bt i wan to confide in kaiyi more! Goodness! "Confide"! Hmm.. M i blurring e lines/expectations again? Wat if kaiyi dun empathise w me e same way tt day w my grp work experience? Hahahaha!
Bt i tink i'm copin better w this! No need supervision specially on this! Tho i might raise it up in my reflections still! Heeh!
Bt my learnin really nt steep enuff! Nxt wk maybe will change plans a little & discuss w kaiyi or sth! Hehe! Yeah! Why m i still so hesistant ah? I'm thinkin today if kaiyi was at work, i would haf other challenges/difficulties also! Goodness! I need to b more thick-skinned!!! Jiayou kheng!
Kk! Stop! Haf to reply whatsapp msg-es! :/ tonnes of things to do! Rahh!!
Kheng.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Heh
Lol! I'm still a little affected by why my sup din ask me for row call last wk! Haha! As in i wun go & ask her! Plus last wk my mood also quite down! Today i'm thinkin if i need to go! Shld i ask clement? Coz i gg up w hui en to her ward! Hmm... I can go up after e row call! Bt i dunno whether i need to go or nt! Hehe! & coz i din ask kaiyi b4 she went on holiday, i'm askin myself e reason why she din ask me along last wk & m tryin to "extrapolate" e ans! Lol! Hmm... Ltr see hw ba! Hahaha!
Kheng.
Kheng.
Tweet
Lol! Totally cannot communicate w my mum! She asked twice whether wan e air-con or nt, i said "no!" & she asked my sis, my sis din reply! Bt b4 she asked, i alr asked my sis if she was feelin hot, she said "ok!" & my mum jus insisted on turning on!
Mum: u wan e air-con? If so, i help u on now.
Me: no.
Mum: u wan i help u on, ltr will b coolin!
Me: no.
Which letter/word in "no" implies a yes?! I really cannot understand my mum! It's nt bout wat she does for me usually tt i shld b grateful for & stuff! I'm referrin to this incident & her behaviour! Why does she wan to impose her wishes on us? We dun find it hot! It's she who thinks tt 31 degrees celcius is hot & she is e one who is feelin it! Nt me at least! If she insists on on-ing, why ask in e first place? & wen we say no, why can't she jus accept it?!
Really dun understand leh! I love e air-con, bt i jus dun understand why my mum is doin wat we say don't do! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dunno why it pisses me off so much also, bt just feel like cursin & swearin! Hate it wen comm breaks down to this extent! :/
Mum: u wan e air-con? If so, i help u on now.
Me: no.
Mum: u wan i help u on, ltr will b coolin!
Me: no.
Which letter/word in "no" implies a yes?! I really cannot understand my mum! It's nt bout wat she does for me usually tt i shld b grateful for & stuff! I'm referrin to this incident & her behaviour! Why does she wan to impose her wishes on us? We dun find it hot! It's she who thinks tt 31 degrees celcius is hot & she is e one who is feelin it! Nt me at least! If she insists on on-ing, why ask in e first place? & wen we say no, why can't she jus accept it?!
Really dun understand leh! I love e air-con, bt i jus dun understand why my mum is doin wat we say don't do! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dunno why it pisses me off so much also, bt just feel like cursin & swearin! Hate it wen comm breaks down to this extent! :/
:D
Heheheh! Cool! Went out w shiyuan jus nw! & met tong at J cube! Jus had this gut feelin i might see her & i really saw her! Hahahahah! *winks*
hehe! Today's work also dunno hw to say! Lol! Is either super busy or super free! Lol! After lunch wanted to find kaiyi den she nt ard! Den wen she came back she said she had to rush off!!!
She generated e report frm fasst & sent me! & goodness! I sent her back w some mistakes! She edited for me & she did e grp work thingy "so is this e final version?" hahahah! Bt she nt as hostile as tt time i feel! Hehe! Den after tt she said font size different, den i jus told her i bring back edit first! Felt damn paiseh!!! Den after tt wen i scanned, i din write attention to who! Coz i dunno to who! Den i called bizlink to tell them bout e missin signature, i forgot tell e person e pt will go sign wen he goes for interview also! I hope e person will help me pass e message! If nt if e bizlink person ignores e application, will b paiseh max! Or if she/he calls kaiyi! Wah! Faints man!
Yah! Felt like damn lousy! Why i like can't even do simple things well! & after tt coz kaiyi v busy, i din dare ask her! Huiwen asked me go ask, coz actually she was sittin there w brandon! Bt i din ask also! Lol! & wen she was in toilet, i went to Room 10 coz nobody picked up! Went to look for Dr! Heeh! Nt e one tt i thot she was! Bt v nice still! Heheheh!
Yah! & goodness! Jus nw went to eat w shiyuan, ate spicy stuff, drank cold water, ate waffle w choco sauce + ice cream! Really is tryin to 慢性自杀！my throat nw super uncomfortable! Even w e spam of 穿心莲 & strepsils! Goodness! If i no voice den GG! Can't work tmr liao! Social worker really cannot lose my voice! Lol!!
Bt anw, at least i managed to get e referral to Octave frm e Dr! Will ask brandon if it's ok for me to call e pt to inform her bout e referral! If nt she will b stunned to receive e call frm Octave! Lol!
& at least these few cases i finish follow-up-ing liao! Hehe! Nw left w Destitute's case & e Autistic de! E Autistic case i jus go do some more research on assessment of autism ba! & maybe jus do up e social report while waifin for further instructions frm kaiyi! Hehe!
& ended my work excitedly w e home visit! Heheh! So glad e door was answered! Heheh! & awesome! I knew wat was hui en's focus so i did ask a few qn also! Heheheh! & it's observin again! & also exposure!! Like hw to elicit info frm neighbour w.o sayin too much! & hw to intro ourselves! W.o lettin neighbours hear & all tt! Hehe!
& tmr kaiyi nt comin in! I'm kinda excited coz she gave me her pw to faast & all tt coz she is away & she wants help for tt longstay! & she gave me tt longstay thing to do! Haha! & i can follow hui en up to e wards since she wun b ard in e morn & i wun haf to see cases! Hehehe! Shall see if i can arrange to go outpatient w e long stay thingy i haf to do! Heheh! Coz i wan to go & practise my skills! Hahahah! These few days busy w e follow up & other stuff, bt nt seein cases at e outpatient! I wan to increase my competency a bit more! Hehehe! Yeah!
Still hopin for more improvement! Steeper learnin curve! Hehehe! I still tink i nv improve enuff, nt oustanding enuff! Hehehe! Expectations again! Hahahah! Bt i tink if i can manage e failin to meet part, expectations is actually good! Heheheh!
Yep! :D lookin forward to an exciting 3 days! Hehe!
Kheng:)
hehe! Today's work also dunno hw to say! Lol! Is either super busy or super free! Lol! After lunch wanted to find kaiyi den she nt ard! Den wen she came back she said she had to rush off!!!
She generated e report frm fasst & sent me! & goodness! I sent her back w some mistakes! She edited for me & she did e grp work thingy "so is this e final version?" hahahah! Bt she nt as hostile as tt time i feel! Hehe! Den after tt she said font size different, den i jus told her i bring back edit first! Felt damn paiseh!!! Den after tt wen i scanned, i din write attention to who! Coz i dunno to who! Den i called bizlink to tell them bout e missin signature, i forgot tell e person e pt will go sign wen he goes for interview also! I hope e person will help me pass e message! If nt if e bizlink person ignores e application, will b paiseh max! Or if she/he calls kaiyi! Wah! Faints man!
Yah! Felt like damn lousy! Why i like can't even do simple things well! & after tt coz kaiyi v busy, i din dare ask her! Huiwen asked me go ask, coz actually she was sittin there w brandon! Bt i din ask also! Lol! & wen she was in toilet, i went to Room 10 coz nobody picked up! Went to look for Dr! Heeh! Nt e one tt i thot she was! Bt v nice still! Heheheh!
Yah! & goodness! Jus nw went to eat w shiyuan, ate spicy stuff, drank cold water, ate waffle w choco sauce + ice cream! Really is tryin to 慢性自杀！my throat nw super uncomfortable! Even w e spam of 穿心莲 & strepsils! Goodness! If i no voice den GG! Can't work tmr liao! Social worker really cannot lose my voice! Lol!!
Bt anw, at least i managed to get e referral to Octave frm e Dr! Will ask brandon if it's ok for me to call e pt to inform her bout e referral! If nt she will b stunned to receive e call frm Octave! Lol!
& at least these few cases i finish follow-up-ing liao! Hehe! Nw left w Destitute's case & e Autistic de! E Autistic case i jus go do some more research on assessment of autism ba! & maybe jus do up e social report while waifin for further instructions frm kaiyi! Hehe!
& ended my work excitedly w e home visit! Heheh! So glad e door was answered! Heheh! & awesome! I knew wat was hui en's focus so i did ask a few qn also! Heheheh! & it's observin again! & also exposure!! Like hw to elicit info frm neighbour w.o sayin too much! & hw to intro ourselves! W.o lettin neighbours hear & all tt! Hehe!
& tmr kaiyi nt comin in! I'm kinda excited coz she gave me her pw to faast & all tt coz she is away & she wants help for tt longstay! & she gave me tt longstay thing to do! Haha! & i can follow hui en up to e wards since she wun b ard in e morn & i wun haf to see cases! Hehehe! Shall see if i can arrange to go outpatient w e long stay thingy i haf to do! Heheh! Coz i wan to go & practise my skills! Hahahah! These few days busy w e follow up & other stuff, bt nt seein cases at e outpatient! I wan to increase my competency a bit more! Hehehe! Yeah!
Still hopin for more improvement! Steeper learnin curve! Hehehe! I still tink i nv improve enuff, nt oustanding enuff! Hehehe! Expectations again! Hahahah! Bt i tink if i can manage e failin to meet part, expectations is actually good! Heheheh!
Yep! :D lookin forward to an exciting 3 days! Hehe!
Kheng:)
:D
Hehehe! Dunno why today's mood so good! :p hehe! Overslept on 157 so went to toa payoh to take mrt! Hehe! & was chionging reflections! Hahah! Surprisingly, i finished at 815, sent to kaiyi & went over! Goodness! She hasn't come work!!! Hahah! Asked leona & den after a while, kaiyi came over! Hehe! Tink she helped me pass msg! Hehe!
Den asked if she was on morn duty, den coz she wasn't, so i went up w hui en to e ward! Hehh! Spoke to 2 pt's family over e phone! Quite hard to handle.. At least harder than usual! & goodness! Felt so embarrassed wen tt guy questioned why was it tt i could not ans wat the social worker does! I shld really go reflect man! I dunno hw to say mah, & dun wan to give inaccurate info! Hehh! Lousy leh me! After 6 wks, still can't explain!
Bt anw, other than tt, e things went ok! I tried to reflect feelings for e pt's mother! E 2nd person i spoke to! Hee! Yay! Good attempt! Sfill said wrong stuff, bt it was ok coz i corrected myself! Or rather she corrected me den i jus went "oh.. ____(wat she felt)" heheheh!
& was busy e entire morn! So happy! Heheh! It beats sittin in office, doin nth! Hahah! Coz v early cannot call pt also mah.. Hehe! Yay! Glad tt hui en is back! I owe her real big time! Heheh! Luckily i'm able to like provide some real help by speakin to the chinese patients! Hehe!
Den went for lunch, epic thing happened.. Nicole said tt i was stupid in chinese coz of something.. Hehe! & i tink my face did change! I tink it's coz she was usin chinese & e first word tt came out was stupid.. Bt den i tink she felt bad after tt also.. Wen we were walkin back, she seemed to b waitin for me b4 walkin on & i assumed she did feel bad? Heheh! I wasn't angry, bt jus a little hurt coz e "stupid" word jus came out like tt! & i was jus a little upset w all e shooting! Hehe! I noe is joking, bt sometimes being spammed w such remarks can b quite devastating to e confidence! Hehehe! Bt i was okay! I wasn't angry, jus quite upset & sian wen e word came out! Bt i'm ok nw! :D i noe nicole dun mean it! Hehe! Jus tt at e instance, can i balance myself up or nt! Hehe!
Yep! Den went back finished e recording & make e p/c. Again, hesistant bt was thinkin, aiyah, jus do it lah! Hesistant coz like dunno wat will transpire frm e call & quite scared things will b left dangling again! Bt if dun do, hw to see whether is there any progress or nt rite? & i was glad tt i had positive results frm e trying! Hehehe!
Yep! & juju said i sounded v anxious b4 makin e call! Totally true! Hehe! Bt jus prepared myself & called! Hehe.
Den after tt walked ard, wanted to write maybe recordin or sth first! Hehe! Den kaiyi asked me over! Den we discussed bout e cases! & she briefed me on e longstay thingy she wanted me to do! Heheh! Den we went out to see case! Bt i knew i need nt see tt case coz was super not straight forward! Hahah! Was thinkin slack den i told myself, cannot! Hhe! Jus like hui en this mornin, she asked me whether i had any qn to ask, & i was like "oh man!" *shook head* coz i was only concerned w thinkin why she asked e qn & responding to e pt! Lol! Heheh! Yeah! Bt tt case really nt easy, nth for me to handle! :p heheh! & kaiyi jus v naturally took my pen frm my notebook! Hahaha! I dun mind of coz! Hehe! Jus glad tt she 不拘小节！hehehe! & it makes me feel tt boundary is nt so tight nw! :p heheh!
& goodness! Michael said tt my recordin v long! Oops! I alr tried my best to cut short le! Oops! Shld i cut it even shorter! Last fri i saw kaiyi do e recording, den i realised mine still v different frm her! Bt she said de mah, better to haf more info than nt enuff! Heheh! Bt i also understand at o/p setting, long recordings nt beneficial at all! Heheh! Bt yah lo, kaiyi nv say anythin mah! Hahaha! She like a bit paiseh & pointed to me wen michael said tt recordin v long! Haha! Den i jus said "is i write de! :p" heheheh!
Yeah! Den after e session, e first time i asked kaiyi a qn e way i asked brandon! Coz i was curious why was signin e self-declaration so hard a decision this time! Den she smiled & tt coz other actions can b taken to get e documents! & e declaration shld b done by e son in this case! Hehh! Den i was like "oh!!" heh!
Bt yeah! Today was a lot more at ease! Hehe! Nt exceptionally at ease, bt wen i was discussin e case w her, quite normal & comfortable! Hehe! & e epic moment when she turned back & asked "where were we?" & i said "e Indian national" & she was like jus snapped back frm lalaland & she went "oh! Oh ya ya!" & she jus smiled/laughed! Hahaah!
Yeah! & this morn! She went back to her desk to check her schedule, so i followed lo. Den wen she turned ard, she let her a shock response coz she saw my head popping there! Hahahah! Den we jus laughed! Hahahah! Coz i always will follow her de mah! Dun make her walk ard! Hehe! So considerate lo me! Heheh!
Den i tink i looked really interested to go to e ward! Hahahah! I jus smiled & asked v cheekily if it was confirmed tt i could go 2 e ward! Hehehe! Really is better than nth to do mah! Hahahah! & point is: i feel comfortable at hui en's ward & w hui en ard! Hehe!
I wonder if kaiyi will leave me her tag wen she goes on leave! Heheheh! It's gg to b so cool! Hahaha! Love tappin e doors! Hehehe!
She jus told me her pw for all e systems! Hehehh! Tt means i can access everything le! :D hehehe! yay!! She also said it's ok to sit at her table! Heheh! Coz she thot i no genopro! Heheh! Bt i've! Hahah! Yay! So happy! V fang bian to do things! Heheh!
& brandon said he is gg to give me half an hour debrief everyday for e 3 days kaiyi is on leave! Lol!!!!! Kaiyi also dun give me as much time lo! Hahahah! Bt ok la, kaiyi saw me for quite some time today! Hehe! :D
Yeah! Bt today's mood since morn alr quite good le! Hopefully marian stays this way till end of placement! Hahahah! It influences me & makes me happy also! Hahaha! Br this isn't really like a must for me, i shall nt ask for so many things! :p
Hehehe!
Yeah! Tmr hopefully can check w kaiyi e stuff b4 she goes on leave! Heheh! & i noe my wed-fri is gg to b busy & packed & meaningful! :D hehehe!
Kheng :)
Den asked if she was on morn duty, den coz she wasn't, so i went up w hui en to e ward! Hehh! Spoke to 2 pt's family over e phone! Quite hard to handle.. At least harder than usual! & goodness! Felt so embarrassed wen tt guy questioned why was it tt i could not ans wat the social worker does! I shld really go reflect man! I dunno hw to say mah, & dun wan to give inaccurate info! Hehh! Lousy leh me! After 6 wks, still can't explain!
Bt anw, other than tt, e things went ok! I tried to reflect feelings for e pt's mother! E 2nd person i spoke to! Hee! Yay! Good attempt! Sfill said wrong stuff, bt it was ok coz i corrected myself! Or rather she corrected me den i jus went "oh.. ____(wat she felt)" heheheh!
& was busy e entire morn! So happy! Heheh! It beats sittin in office, doin nth! Hahah! Coz v early cannot call pt also mah.. Hehe! Yay! Glad tt hui en is back! I owe her real big time! Heheh! Luckily i'm able to like provide some real help by speakin to the chinese patients! Hehe!
Den went for lunch, epic thing happened.. Nicole said tt i was stupid in chinese coz of something.. Hehe! & i tink my face did change! I tink it's coz she was usin chinese & e first word tt came out was stupid.. Bt den i tink she felt bad after tt also.. Wen we were walkin back, she seemed to b waitin for me b4 walkin on & i assumed she did feel bad? Heheh! I wasn't angry, bt jus a little hurt coz e "stupid" word jus came out like tt! & i was jus a little upset w all e shooting! Hehe! I noe is joking, bt sometimes being spammed w such remarks can b quite devastating to e confidence! Hehehe! Bt i was okay! I wasn't angry, jus quite upset & sian wen e word came out! Bt i'm ok nw! :D i noe nicole dun mean it! Hehe! Jus tt at e instance, can i balance myself up or nt! Hehe!
Yep! Den went back finished e recording & make e p/c. Again, hesistant bt was thinkin, aiyah, jus do it lah! Hesistant coz like dunno wat will transpire frm e call & quite scared things will b left dangling again! Bt if dun do, hw to see whether is there any progress or nt rite? & i was glad tt i had positive results frm e trying! Hehehe!
Yep! & juju said i sounded v anxious b4 makin e call! Totally true! Hehe! Bt jus prepared myself & called! Hehe.
Den after tt walked ard, wanted to write maybe recordin or sth first! Hehe! Den kaiyi asked me over! Den we discussed bout e cases! & she briefed me on e longstay thingy she wanted me to do! Heheh! Den we went out to see case! Bt i knew i need nt see tt case coz was super not straight forward! Hahah! Was thinkin slack den i told myself, cannot! Hhe! Jus like hui en this mornin, she asked me whether i had any qn to ask, & i was like "oh man!" *shook head* coz i was only concerned w thinkin why she asked e qn & responding to e pt! Lol! Heheh! Yeah! Bt tt case really nt easy, nth for me to handle! :p heheh! & kaiyi jus v naturally took my pen frm my notebook! Hahaha! I dun mind of coz! Hehe! Jus glad tt she 不拘小节！hehehe! & it makes me feel tt boundary is nt so tight nw! :p heheh!
& goodness! Michael said tt my recordin v long! Oops! I alr tried my best to cut short le! Oops! Shld i cut it even shorter! Last fri i saw kaiyi do e recording, den i realised mine still v different frm her! Bt she said de mah, better to haf more info than nt enuff! Heheh! Bt i also understand at o/p setting, long recordings nt beneficial at all! Heheh! Bt yah lo, kaiyi nv say anythin mah! Hahaha! She like a bit paiseh & pointed to me wen michael said tt recordin v long! Haha! Den i jus said "is i write de! :p" heheheh!
Yeah! Den after e session, e first time i asked kaiyi a qn e way i asked brandon! Coz i was curious why was signin e self-declaration so hard a decision this time! Den she smiled & tt coz other actions can b taken to get e documents! & e declaration shld b done by e son in this case! Hehh! Den i was like "oh!!" heh!
Bt yeah! Today was a lot more at ease! Hehe! Nt exceptionally at ease, bt wen i was discussin e case w her, quite normal & comfortable! Hehe! & e epic moment when she turned back & asked "where were we?" & i said "e Indian national" & she was like jus snapped back frm lalaland & she went "oh! Oh ya ya!" & she jus smiled/laughed! Hahaah!
Yeah! & this morn! She went back to her desk to check her schedule, so i followed lo. Den wen she turned ard, she let her a shock response coz she saw my head popping there! Hahahah! Den we jus laughed! Hahahah! Coz i always will follow her de mah! Dun make her walk ard! Hehe! So considerate lo me! Heheh!
Den i tink i looked really interested to go to e ward! Hahahah! I jus smiled & asked v cheekily if it was confirmed tt i could go 2 e ward! Hehehe! Really is better than nth to do mah! Hahahah! & point is: i feel comfortable at hui en's ward & w hui en ard! Hehe!
I wonder if kaiyi will leave me her tag wen she goes on leave! Heheheh! It's gg to b so cool! Hahaha! Love tappin e doors! Hehehe!
She jus told me her pw for all e systems! Hehehh! Tt means i can access everything le! :D hehehe! yay!! She also said it's ok to sit at her table! Heheh! Coz she thot i no genopro! Heheh! Bt i've! Hahah! Yay! So happy! V fang bian to do things! Heheh!
& brandon said he is gg to give me half an hour debrief everyday for e 3 days kaiyi is on leave! Lol!!!!! Kaiyi also dun give me as much time lo! Hahahah! Bt ok la, kaiyi saw me for quite some time today! Hehe! :D
Yeah! Bt today's mood since morn alr quite good le! Hopefully marian stays this way till end of placement! Hahahah! It influences me & makes me happy also! Hahaha! Br this isn't really like a must for me, i shall nt ask for so many things! :p
Hehehe!
Yeah! Tmr hopefully can check w kaiyi e stuff b4 she goes on leave! Heheh! & i noe my wed-fri is gg to b busy & packed & meaningful! :D hehehe!
Kheng :)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Fb post
Yay! Was climbing this web like thingy just now at West Coast Park! So much fear & hesitation! Bt all thanks to the "take risk" thot tt was goin on in my head & Jean's encouragement non-stop, i overcame it!!! :D hopefully this experience & sense of satisfaction will stay w me! :D
Hehe! Typed finish bt decided nt to post! Coz i dun wan to keep rubbing on marian's "wound"! Hehe! Obviously she was affected, however small i can minimise it to, & i'm considerate! Dun wan to think tt i'm tryin v hard to prove myself to her also!
Haha! Oops! So it boils down to my own selfish reasons! :p hehe! Bt yep! Dun wan to tink so! Yep! So i took off the post! Heeh! Will post on Jean's wall instead! Hehe!
Bt jus nw! Really v happy wen i was climbing e web! Shall post a picture later! Coz it's really significant! Heehe!
Yep! I wanted to climb tt coz i was really interested in tryin tt out! Bt wen i started, really feared! I tried a bit! & thankfully jean came in! & encouraged me really a lot! Kept tellin me i can do it! Jus try! Dun give up! It totally wasn't like a "if i give up nw, she will look down on me!" bt really e "she is really encouragin me & hopin tt i can do it!" kind of feel! & under than encouragement, she was stretchin out her hand to me also! So e feelin was really great! I'm really thankful to Jean!
& another person is definitely kaiyi! After her "take risk" encouragement on thurs & my still dun dare to take risk interview on Fri, it was really the "arghh! I failed her again!" feel! Bt as i said, i really wasn't as affected! Hehe!
Bt yep! Plus maybe yest & today's feel tt placement is gg to end!
Jus nw, initially i only wanted to jus try sth tt i always wanted to do! Hesitation came in & i told myself "take risk!" den i said, ok jus do it! Wen i feared & wanted to give up, kaiyi's words of "take risk!" really kept ringing in my head! Really! Non-stop! Nt her voice! Bt e 2 words really!
Yep! & of coz w.o jean's encouragement, i tink i really would haf gone down! I tink i'm too used to givin up! & too used to thinkin i wun succeed! Bt jus nw wen i did it, i really was v happy! Heehe! Yay!
Oh man! & wen i reached e top & came down, i really felt v v happy! & really felt tt i can tell my sup v proudly: i took risk!!!!! I hope i can translate e courage & attitude to work frm nxt wk onwards!
Esp wen nw tt i look at e time tt's runnin out, i really tink tt i wan to give my best & nt let kaiyi down!
It's really v much coz i achieved success! It's like a "i really can do it leh! Even w so much fear & thots to give up! I did it!" really is empowerment max!
Yay!!!
Ok! Kheng! Rmb this attempt & this feelin! Keep it on-going & translate e learning elsewhere! Good job kheng! :D hehehe!
Kheng! :D
Hehe! Typed finish bt decided nt to post! Coz i dun wan to keep rubbing on marian's "wound"! Hehe! Obviously she was affected, however small i can minimise it to, & i'm considerate! Dun wan to think tt i'm tryin v hard to prove myself to her also!
Haha! Oops! So it boils down to my own selfish reasons! :p hehe! Bt yep! Dun wan to tink so! Yep! So i took off the post! Heeh! Will post on Jean's wall instead! Hehe!
Bt jus nw! Really v happy wen i was climbing e web! Shall post a picture later! Coz it's really significant! Heehe!
Yep! I wanted to climb tt coz i was really interested in tryin tt out! Bt wen i started, really feared! I tried a bit! & thankfully jean came in! & encouraged me really a lot! Kept tellin me i can do it! Jus try! Dun give up! It totally wasn't like a "if i give up nw, she will look down on me!" bt really e "she is really encouragin me & hopin tt i can do it!" kind of feel! & under than encouragement, she was stretchin out her hand to me also! So e feelin was really great! I'm really thankful to Jean!
& another person is definitely kaiyi! After her "take risk" encouragement on thurs & my still dun dare to take risk interview on Fri, it was really the "arghh! I failed her again!" feel! Bt as i said, i really wasn't as affected! Hehe!
Bt yep! Plus maybe yest & today's feel tt placement is gg to end!
Jus nw, initially i only wanted to jus try sth tt i always wanted to do! Hesitation came in & i told myself "take risk!" den i said, ok jus do it! Wen i feared & wanted to give up, kaiyi's words of "take risk!" really kept ringing in my head! Really! Non-stop! Nt her voice! Bt e 2 words really!
Yep! & of coz w.o jean's encouragement, i tink i really would haf gone down! I tink i'm too used to givin up! & too used to thinkin i wun succeed! Bt jus nw wen i did it, i really was v happy! Heehe! Yay!
Oh man! & wen i reached e top & came down, i really felt v v happy! & really felt tt i can tell my sup v proudly: i took risk!!!!! I hope i can translate e courage & attitude to work frm nxt wk onwards!
Esp wen nw tt i look at e time tt's runnin out, i really tink tt i wan to give my best & nt let kaiyi down!
It's really v much coz i achieved success! It's like a "i really can do it leh! Even w so much fear & thots to give up! I did it!" really is empowerment max!
Yay!!!
Ok! Kheng! Rmb this attempt & this feelin! Keep it on-going & translate e learning elsewhere! Good job kheng! :D hehehe!
Kheng! :D
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tweet
Jiatlat! Why m i thinkin bout separation again?! Lol! Did i nt sleep well last nite? Tt's why nw still tired? I tink i dreamt of IMH work again last nite! Hehehe! Bt din dream of kaiyi!
Wait! Is this normal? Tt i'm feelin sad & stuff? Oh haf i put in too much feelings? Is this healthy or unhealthy?
Bt actually all e things tt i once love a lot, only got a few endings, one is like bearbear/mrs wong kind - nv really get close bt i also aren't tt bothered by e end, coz they're jus out of my life! Another is got close & remain impt - too many eg, ah boon, tong, pingping... Another is got close & den lost their impt! Hahaha! Dun mention names lah hor? :p heheheh!
Yep! None really do bother me tt much rite? Hahahah! At e end lah! Jus tt in e process of separation, will b sad, rite? Heheheh! Yah! Like bearbear tt time! Hehehe!
Yep! I'm sure i'll find new ppl tt i like & can get along well w de! Hehe! Right? Haha! As in frens! :)
Hehe! Lookin at this, really dun tink i'm suitable to get into relationships! Heheheh!
Kheng:p
Wait! Is this normal? Tt i'm feelin sad & stuff? Oh haf i put in too much feelings? Is this healthy or unhealthy?
Bt actually all e things tt i once love a lot, only got a few endings, one is like bearbear/mrs wong kind - nv really get close bt i also aren't tt bothered by e end, coz they're jus out of my life! Another is got close & remain impt - too many eg, ah boon, tong, pingping... Another is got close & den lost their impt! Hahaha! Dun mention names lah hor? :p heheheh!
Yep! None really do bother me tt much rite? Hahahah! At e end lah! Jus tt in e process of separation, will b sad, rite? Heheheh! Yah! Like bearbear tt time! Hehehe!
Yep! I'm sure i'll find new ppl tt i like & can get along well w de! Hehe! Right? Haha! As in frens! :)
Hehe! Lookin at this, really dun tink i'm suitable to get into relationships! Heheheh!
Kheng:p
Tweet
Such feelings always strike! I tink today jus woke up on e wrong side of bed! Feeling quite emotional somehow! :/
Ok! Moderate moderate
Ok! I tink it's time to moderate a little! Was readin my previous posts & tink i'm really mean to b talkin bout marian tt way! Hehehe! Today included! Hehe!
I mus say k! It's nt tt i hate or anythin! Bt her style & mine really dun suit at all! & there're really many times wen i feel really offended & pissed!*
I'm feelin bad for havin all these emotions! & havin such emotions make me feel ashamed! So, i mus clarify!
I'm really nt attackin her! Jus tt maybe i'm a little going overboard in my posts! Hehehe! Paiseh! I hold back & apologise k! Hehe!
Yep! & havin such negative thots make me feel tt i'm nt really tt awesome a person also! Aiyo!
Bt anw, really tryin to moderate e expectations i've w e interaction w my sup! I tink i'm really seein her as an idol!
At almost every stage of my life, there'll b someone whom i value i a lot a lot, sometimes e bond is built, sometimes it isn't! I shld tell myself rite! Yah! She is v impt to me nw! I'm actually v lookin forward to winnin her approval & stuff! Bt actually eventually, it'll jus b another bearbear/mrs wong? Hehe! Yep! For bearbear's case, i was really like upset for 2-3 days? Hehe! & even watchin 下一站幸福？ lol! Bt all i can tell myself is, eventually i'll b able to overcome it rite? E feelings of separation & stuff? Haha!
& yah lo, wen i'm back in sch, 2 wks dun see her! I tink i'll forget also luh! Hahahah!
I'm nt some bian tai or les k! I jus dunno why i'm always so needy/so attached to one person!
Bt yep! Lol! Preparin myself for separation nw! Hehe! & actually i noe de lah, no matter wat, i'll still feel sad & empty wen placement ends! Hehe! After all, it's gg to b a routine tt i sticked tofor 2.5months? Bt yep! 天下无不散之筵席！yah's side i managed to moderate better coz we maintained & even got closer after placement ended! Hehe! Bt well, maybe coz e bond was built so i dun feel like i've missed out sth/feel e loss as much? Hehehe! Yep!
Bt well! I tink i'll still b sad wen it ends & stuff, nvm lah! It's normal! & jus go thru it! & at e end, wat's valuable will b e memories i've had, e r/s i've built/forged even if it's only for 2.5months, & also e learning, skills & confidence i've gained! :D
Yep! Feelin a little upset at e possible loss nw! Bt well, handle it wen it comes! & i'm sure i can do it! :) hehehe!
Kheng.
I mus say k! It's nt tt i hate or anythin! Bt her style & mine really dun suit at all! & there're really many times wen i feel really offended & pissed!*
I'm feelin bad for havin all these emotions! & havin such emotions make me feel ashamed! So, i mus clarify!
I'm really nt attackin her! Jus tt maybe i'm a little going overboard in my posts! Hehehe! Paiseh! I hold back & apologise k! Hehe!
Yep! & havin such negative thots make me feel tt i'm nt really tt awesome a person also! Aiyo!
Bt anw, really tryin to moderate e expectations i've w e interaction w my sup! I tink i'm really seein her as an idol!
At almost every stage of my life, there'll b someone whom i value i a lot a lot, sometimes e bond is built, sometimes it isn't! I shld tell myself rite! Yah! She is v impt to me nw! I'm actually v lookin forward to winnin her approval & stuff! Bt actually eventually, it'll jus b another bearbear/mrs wong? Hehe! Yep! For bearbear's case, i was really like upset for 2-3 days? Hehe! & even watchin 下一站幸福？ lol! Bt all i can tell myself is, eventually i'll b able to overcome it rite? E feelings of separation & stuff? Haha!
& yah lo, wen i'm back in sch, 2 wks dun see her! I tink i'll forget also luh! Hahahah!
I'm nt some bian tai or les k! I jus dunno why i'm always so needy/so attached to one person!
Bt yep! Lol! Preparin myself for separation nw! Hehe! & actually i noe de lah, no matter wat, i'll still feel sad & empty wen placement ends! Hehe! After all, it's gg to b a routine tt i sticked tofor 2.5months? Bt yep! 天下无不散之筵席！yah's side i managed to moderate better coz we maintained & even got closer after placement ended! Hehe! Bt well, maybe coz e bond was built so i dun feel like i've missed out sth/feel e loss as much? Hehehe! Yep!
Bt well! I tink i'll still b sad wen it ends & stuff, nvm lah! It's normal! & jus go thru it! & at e end, wat's valuable will b e memories i've had, e r/s i've built/forged even if it's only for 2.5months, & also e learning, skills & confidence i've gained! :D
Yep! Feelin a little upset at e possible loss nw! Bt well, handle it wen it comes! & i'm sure i can do it! :) hehehe!
Kheng.
Ok! Moderate moderate
Ok! I tink it's time to moderate a little! Was readin my previous posts & tink i'm really mean to b talkin bout marian tt way! Hehehe! Today included! Hehe!
I mus say k! It's nt tt i hate or anythin! Bt her style & mine really dun suit at all! & there're really many times wen i feel really offended & pissed!*
I'm feelin bad for havin all these emotions! & havin such emotions make me feel ashamed! So, i mus clarify!
I'm really nt attackin her! Jus tt maybe i'm a little going overboard in my posts! Hehehe! Paiseh! I hold back & apologise k! Hehe!
Yep! & havin such negative thots make me feel tt i'm nt really tt awesome a person also! Aiyo!
Bt anw, really tryin to moderate e expectations i've w e interaction w my sup! I tink i'm really seein her as an idol!
At almost every stage of my life, there'll b someone whom i value i a lot a lot, sometimes e bond is built, sometimes it isn't! I shld tell myself rite! Yah! She is v impt to me nw! I'm actually v lookin forward to winnin her approval & stuff! Bt actually eventually, it'll jus b another bearbear/mrs wong? Hehe! Yep! For bearbear's case, i was really like upset for 2-3 days? Hehe! & even watchin 下一站幸福？ lol! Bt all i can tell myself is, eventually i'll b able to overcome it rite? E feelings of separation & stuff? Haha!
& yah lo, wen i'm back in sch, 2 wks dun see her! I tink i'll forget also luh! Hahahah!
I'm nt some bian tai or les k! I jus dunno why i'm always so needy/so attached to one person!
Bt yep! Lol! Preparin myself for separation nw! Hehe! & actually i noe de lah, no matter wat, i'll still feel sad & empty wen placement ends! Hehe! After all, it's gg to b a routine tt i sticked tofor 2.5months? Bt yep! 天下无不散之筵席！yah's side i managed to moderate better coz we maintained & even got closer after placement ended! Hehe! Bt well, maybe coz e bond was built so i dun feel like i've missed out sth/feel e loss as much? Hehehe! Yep!
Bt well! I tink i'll still b sad wen it ends & stuff, nvm lah! It's normal! & jus go thru it! & at e end, wat's valuable will b e memories i've had, e r/s i've built/forged even if it's only for 2.5months, & also e learning, skills & confidence i've gained! :D
Yep! Feelin a little upset at e possible loss nw! Bt well, handle it wen it comes! & i'm sure i can do it! :) hehehe!
Kheng.
I mus say k! It's nt tt i hate or anythin! Bt her style & mine really dun suit at all! & there're really many times wen i feel really offended & pissed!*
I'm feelin bad for havin all these emotions! & havin such emotions make me feel ashamed! So, i mus clarify!
I'm really nt attackin her! Jus tt maybe i'm a little going overboard in my posts! Hehehe! Paiseh! I hold back & apologise k! Hehe!
Yep! & havin such negative thots make me feel tt i'm nt really tt awesome a person also! Aiyo!
Bt anw, really tryin to moderate e expectations i've w e interaction w my sup! I tink i'm really seein her as an idol!
At almost every stage of my life, there'll b someone whom i value i a lot a lot, sometimes e bond is built, sometimes it isn't! I shld tell myself rite! Yah! She is v impt to me nw! I'm actually v lookin forward to winnin her approval & stuff! Bt actually eventually, it'll jus b another bearbear/mrs wong? Hehe! Yep! For bearbear's case, i was really like upset for 2-3 days? Hehe! & even watchin 下一站幸福？ lol! Bt all i can tell myself is, eventually i'll b able to overcome it rite? E feelings of separation & stuff? Haha!
& yah lo, wen i'm back in sch, 2 wks dun see her! I tink i'll forget also luh! Hahahah!
I'm nt some bian tai or les k! I jus dunno why i'm always so needy/so attached to one person!
Bt yep! Lol! Preparin myself for separation nw! Hehe! & actually i noe de lah, no matter wat, i'll still feel sad & empty wen placement ends! Hehe! After all, it's gg to b a routine tt i sticked tofor 2.5months? Bt yep! 天下无不散之筵席！yah's side i managed to moderate better coz we maintained & even got closer after placement ended! Hehe! Bt well, maybe coz e bond was built so i dun feel like i've missed out sth/feel e loss as much? Hehehe! Yep!
Bt well! I tink i'll still b sad wen it ends & stuff, nvm lah! It's normal! & jus go thru it! & at e end, wat's valuable will b e memories i've had, e r/s i've built/forged even if it's only for 2.5months, & also e learning, skills & confidence i've gained! :D
Yep! Feelin a little upset at e possible loss nw! Bt well, handle it wen it comes! & i'm sure i can do it! :) hehehe!
Kheng.
Tweet
It might b a loss now! Bt i'm sure it wun matter as much in 10 years' time! Hehe! I can take it de! :D
Confessions!
Hehehe! Time for confessions! Heheh!
I left again w.o waitin for huiwen & julia coz i wanted to go home early! I admit i'm selfish! Hehe! Yest i din wait coz huiwen & nicole go different direction frm us also. Today i din wait coz i jus wanted to get home asap! It boils down to e value i see in waitin! Hehe! Sorry! I'm mean! :p hehehe! E guidin reason is like all boiling towards one person! Bt i decline to conment further! Coz i like really v petty & "lowly" if i were to admit to them! :p heheheh!
Bt yep! I've nth on bt i jus wanted to go home! So i left! :p heheheh!
Actually i really v bad! During e sharing, wen ~ shared bout her situation, i actually questioned why she shared tt! As in tt thot did come to mind! I'm really evil bt i did haf e thot! I alr haf this image of her as being competitive, strong, mean, direct & all tt what's not! All e qualities tt i dun like! & i attribute it to she nt likely to haf certain emotions?
I tink tt's real mean! So i did stop myself frm thinkin further along tt line! :p heheheh!
Yeah! & of coz i appreciate her sharing, jus tt my feelings really nt v strong! I dun deny tt she is sad & everythin! I dun question her humanity bt i dun feel quite strongly!
Paiseh! Tt's sth tt i can't do! I can respect & appreciate bt there r certain things i wun let go. It's nt tt i'm clutchin on v strongly, bt there r jus too many experiences tt r lighting e red light up for me! & i refuse to move forward! This is sth which i wun take risk in!
I'm nt a victim here k! I'm aware & "purposeful" in making my decisions! I noe wat's guiding me & i'm actually defendin & perhaps even silently attackin back! Hahaha! No lah! I'm nt attackin! Bt i'm definitely protecting myself "well enuff" nt to b attacked! Heh! Nt tryin to save face or anythin! Bt definitely puttin my stand across clearly tt i'm nt e victim! Dun wan to like play to "gain sympathy" also!
I'm really mean lah! Tt's why is called confessions! Hehe! It's nth really nice so i'm talkin bout them here "secretly"! Heheheh! Bt at least i definitely din sabotage or anythin k!
Hehe! I try to only do my part! I really dun quite give face!
& maybe coz i feel "proud" to b doin OT, i dun quite like e idea of others stayin to wait for me? Bt i tink it boils down to who it is also! Hahahah! Tt's why i'm really a v mean person!
Aiyo! Really wonder why m i writin this man! Hahaha! Like attack my own character! Lol!
Bt coz jus nw alr said nt waitin le, so i din stay also! Tho i tink i saw kaiyi's hb & kid! Omg! Her son really is cute max!!! Omg! If tt's her son lah! Bt shld b! I kinda recognise her hb! Heheheh!
Bt yeah! Okay.. Sth to say here bt i decline to say further! Again! Coz i tink i really will portray myself as bein v petty, bitchy & stuff! Hahahah! I still wan to see myself as a nice person! :p heheheh!
Hehe! Anw! Today was like.. Er?
Hehe! Morn was really bored! & sleepy! Den went to see case, wah, really see till damn 不三不四！horrendous! Bt ok leh! I din really feel v dejected or anythin! Hehe! Coz kaiyi also din really process a lot also! Heheh! Bt i'll go reflect & tink of hw to ask qn more properly & nicely! Hehe!
Bt i 要死！i went to probe into e auntie's family & made her cry! There wasn't a burning need to make her tell me bout her family bt i jus asked! Izzit wrong ethically ah? Den i jus reflected lo! Omg! I mus write in my reflections & maybe ask my sup nxt wk b4 she goes on leave! I suddenly feel tt i'm v bad leh! Bt did i noe wat she wanted to say? Ok! I need to cool myself down & tink bout it again first! Hmm.. Aiyo! V bad leh! I tink i jus always tryin to ask more & find out bout other ppl's personal stuff! I feel tt tt makes me feel tt i've built rapport! Bt really meh? Hmm... I tink i've to go challenge myself a little further! Wah! Horrendous!! Bt i really nt doin it w e intention of hurtin ppl or jus tryin to b kapo leh! I jus wan to make them feel more relaxed & at ease! I tink it's 好心做坏事？or at least no 坏心！hmmmmm!!!!
Bt yeah! I'll go reflect more bout this first!!!
Yep! Bt anw, yeah lo! Kaiyi still e same face! I was still scared of askin her things! Bt jus ask lo! No choice mah! Haha! & jus nw durin grp supervision, realised she gave e same face even to weiping & pei san(dunno hw to spell her name! :p)
Yah lah.. Bt noe-ing is one thing! Will still feel scared wen she show e face de mah! Hahah! Bt yep! Jus do wat i'm supposed to do! Hehe! Nxt wk also dunno good or bad, at least hui en is back! I can go up to her ward tgt w her! :D at least morn taken care of! & wed-fri i shall chart my own learnin & go outpatient on my own! Hehehe!
Yah! Tink now is time to move beyond takin medifund cases liao! It's all these referral to homes, activity centres all these! Nt bad! Mon & today got 2 such cases! Hehe! Bt anw! I shld bug kaiyi bout hw e follow-up goes nxt mon & tues b4 she goes on leave! Hehehe!
Yeah! I tink after today, i gave up again? Hahahahah! Bt really, i tink yest big improvement, today i talked to her also more open liao! Heheh! Jus tt she still will give me e same face! Heheh! & i tink i'm really a big disappointment, still couldn't ask e qn properly/dun dare to ask! Bt well, at least i'm nt imergin myself in all those blaming thots liao! I'm thinkin of hw to move myself forward!
Aiyo! Ask directly! & ask more specific questions!!!!
& yep! Den went out, kaiyi asked me to go ask michael wat is e case bout & check for all e relevant info myself! She cannot b helpin me all e time! Hehehe! Bt awesome! I saw hw she handled a case which was v aggitated bout havin to bring supportin documents! Cool man! It's really bout e skills! Hehehe! Social work FTW!
Den in e afternoon i jus made e calls, nobody picked up actually! Heh! Den went for grp supervision! She asked if i haf anythin to do, den i said no, den she asked me go in help her stapler e notes! Lol! Bt i did it! Hehehe!
& grp supervision was awesome! I din wan to waste time hesitating whether to say or not! Bt i also din wan to b takin over other ppl's rights to speak! & appear like tryin so hard to impress & stuff! Hehe!
Well! Yep! Plus i din wan to b like coz it's my sup den i keep speakin!
Lol! I feel like bitchin again! Bt holdin myself back! Lol! Bt it's jus whether i say or nt rite? Sounds wrong to still haf e thot! Bt i really dun like it mah! Cannot meh! :/ bleh!
Hehe! Bt as long as i'm nt harmin anyone! My motto as always! Hehe!
Yeah! Anw e discussion during e grp supervision was awesome! & v relevant to our work also! Like! Hehhe! & e sitting arrangement was like better? Coz all e sups & us sat ard the table! :) hehehe!
I enjoyed e discussion actually! & got some affirmation for speakin! & coz it's moral & ethics! Nt really correct or wrong! So i jus spoke my mind! Hehehe! Awesome! :)
Yeah! Shall end here! Shalln't talk any further! Hopefully nxt wk will b fun & awesome! Hehe! Shall ask hui en if can let me interview patients nxt wk! & i'm wondering hw will things b like w e follow-up cases & e case i'm gg to present & do for my report!! Hmm...
Bt yep! :D awesome! Today nt exceptionally happy or upset! Quite balanced! :D so i'm quite pleased! :D heheheh! Dun haf e super happy feel, bt it's ok! As long as there is this little bit! Cannot b greedy!!! :D heheh!
Yeah! I tink it's time for me to slowly prep for separation also? Hahahah! Lol! Time again! 4 more wks! Bt placement is really fast this time! I'm glad i'm startin to moderate out a bit my expectations of havin a good r/s w my sup! Hheheh!
Bt anw! It was really hilarious jus nw! I kept smiling at weiping during e grp supervision! So there was once initially wen julia was speakin, i jus looked over den she made eye contact mah! Den i make lo! Den i turn back to my sup, den turn back to her, den i giggled den she giggled also! Den she look at my sup & i looked also, den my sup looked at us, den she went "what's wrong kheng hwee?!" hahahahaha! Den we burst out laughin! All 3 of us! Hehehe! Den i said "coz i look over den she was lookin at me mah!" lol! Tt's really hilarious! Tink i scare weiping a little! She looked like i 对 her got any 企图 like tt! Lol!
E first grp supervision i scared pei san also! She asked why i kept lookin at her! Lol! So i better stop makin so much eye contact w ppl! Hehehe! It's jus politeness & cheeky! Heheheh! Bt b4 i go, i'll tell weiping this! Heheheh! A little to explain! Bt i'm nt really tt worried! Coz i dun tink she will misunderstand or anythin! Jus a little scared ltr she tink i'm some bian tai or sth! Hehehe!
Yep! :D
Ok! Awesome! :D tt's it! & had a super fun time during grp supervision! :D heheheh!
Kheng:)
I left again w.o waitin for huiwen & julia coz i wanted to go home early! I admit i'm selfish! Hehe! Yest i din wait coz huiwen & nicole go different direction frm us also. Today i din wait coz i jus wanted to get home asap! It boils down to e value i see in waitin! Hehe! Sorry! I'm mean! :p hehehe! E guidin reason is like all boiling towards one person! Bt i decline to conment further! Coz i like really v petty & "lowly" if i were to admit to them! :p heheheh!
Bt yep! I've nth on bt i jus wanted to go home! So i left! :p heheheh!
Actually i really v bad! During e sharing, wen ~ shared bout her situation, i actually questioned why she shared tt! As in tt thot did come to mind! I'm really evil bt i did haf e thot! I alr haf this image of her as being competitive, strong, mean, direct & all tt what's not! All e qualities tt i dun like! & i attribute it to she nt likely to haf certain emotions?
I tink tt's real mean! So i did stop myself frm thinkin further along tt line! :p heheheh!
Yeah! & of coz i appreciate her sharing, jus tt my feelings really nt v strong! I dun deny tt she is sad & everythin! I dun question her humanity bt i dun feel quite strongly!
Paiseh! Tt's sth tt i can't do! I can respect & appreciate bt there r certain things i wun let go. It's nt tt i'm clutchin on v strongly, bt there r jus too many experiences tt r lighting e red light up for me! & i refuse to move forward! This is sth which i wun take risk in!
I'm nt a victim here k! I'm aware & "purposeful" in making my decisions! I noe wat's guiding me & i'm actually defendin & perhaps even silently attackin back! Hahaha! No lah! I'm nt attackin! Bt i'm definitely protecting myself "well enuff" nt to b attacked! Heh! Nt tryin to save face or anythin! Bt definitely puttin my stand across clearly tt i'm nt e victim! Dun wan to like play to "gain sympathy" also!
I'm really mean lah! Tt's why is called confessions! Hehe! It's nth really nice so i'm talkin bout them here "secretly"! Heheheh! Bt at least i definitely din sabotage or anythin k!
Hehe! I try to only do my part! I really dun quite give face!
& maybe coz i feel "proud" to b doin OT, i dun quite like e idea of others stayin to wait for me? Bt i tink it boils down to who it is also! Hahahah! Tt's why i'm really a v mean person!
Aiyo! Really wonder why m i writin this man! Hahaha! Like attack my own character! Lol!
Bt coz jus nw alr said nt waitin le, so i din stay also! Tho i tink i saw kaiyi's hb & kid! Omg! Her son really is cute max!!! Omg! If tt's her son lah! Bt shld b! I kinda recognise her hb! Heheheh!
Bt yeah! Okay.. Sth to say here bt i decline to say further! Again! Coz i tink i really will portray myself as bein v petty, bitchy & stuff! Hahahah! I still wan to see myself as a nice person! :p heheheh!
Hehe! Anw! Today was like.. Er?
Hehe! Morn was really bored! & sleepy! Den went to see case, wah, really see till damn 不三不四！horrendous! Bt ok leh! I din really feel v dejected or anythin! Hehe! Coz kaiyi also din really process a lot also! Heheh! Bt i'll go reflect & tink of hw to ask qn more properly & nicely! Hehe!
Bt i 要死！i went to probe into e auntie's family & made her cry! There wasn't a burning need to make her tell me bout her family bt i jus asked! Izzit wrong ethically ah? Den i jus reflected lo! Omg! I mus write in my reflections & maybe ask my sup nxt wk b4 she goes on leave! I suddenly feel tt i'm v bad leh! Bt did i noe wat she wanted to say? Ok! I need to cool myself down & tink bout it again first! Hmm.. Aiyo! V bad leh! I tink i jus always tryin to ask more & find out bout other ppl's personal stuff! I feel tt tt makes me feel tt i've built rapport! Bt really meh? Hmm... I tink i've to go challenge myself a little further! Wah! Horrendous!! Bt i really nt doin it w e intention of hurtin ppl or jus tryin to b kapo leh! I jus wan to make them feel more relaxed & at ease! I tink it's 好心做坏事？or at least no 坏心！hmmmmm!!!!
Bt yeah! I'll go reflect more bout this first!!!
Yep! Bt anw, yeah lo! Kaiyi still e same face! I was still scared of askin her things! Bt jus ask lo! No choice mah! Haha! & jus nw durin grp supervision, realised she gave e same face even to weiping & pei san(dunno hw to spell her name! :p)
Yah lah.. Bt noe-ing is one thing! Will still feel scared wen she show e face de mah! Hahah! Bt yep! Jus do wat i'm supposed to do! Hehe! Nxt wk also dunno good or bad, at least hui en is back! I can go up to her ward tgt w her! :D at least morn taken care of! & wed-fri i shall chart my own learnin & go outpatient on my own! Hehehe!
Yah! Tink now is time to move beyond takin medifund cases liao! It's all these referral to homes, activity centres all these! Nt bad! Mon & today got 2 such cases! Hehe! Bt anw! I shld bug kaiyi bout hw e follow-up goes nxt mon & tues b4 she goes on leave! Hehehe!
Yeah! I tink after today, i gave up again? Hahahahah! Bt really, i tink yest big improvement, today i talked to her also more open liao! Heheh! Jus tt she still will give me e same face! Heheh! & i tink i'm really a big disappointment, still couldn't ask e qn properly/dun dare to ask! Bt well, at least i'm nt imergin myself in all those blaming thots liao! I'm thinkin of hw to move myself forward!
Aiyo! Ask directly! & ask more specific questions!!!!
& yep! Den went out, kaiyi asked me to go ask michael wat is e case bout & check for all e relevant info myself! She cannot b helpin me all e time! Hehehe! Bt awesome! I saw hw she handled a case which was v aggitated bout havin to bring supportin documents! Cool man! It's really bout e skills! Hehehe! Social work FTW!
Den in e afternoon i jus made e calls, nobody picked up actually! Heh! Den went for grp supervision! She asked if i haf anythin to do, den i said no, den she asked me go in help her stapler e notes! Lol! Bt i did it! Hehehe!
& grp supervision was awesome! I din wan to waste time hesitating whether to say or not! Bt i also din wan to b takin over other ppl's rights to speak! & appear like tryin so hard to impress & stuff! Hehe!
Well! Yep! Plus i din wan to b like coz it's my sup den i keep speakin!
Lol! I feel like bitchin again! Bt holdin myself back! Lol! Bt it's jus whether i say or nt rite? Sounds wrong to still haf e thot! Bt i really dun like it mah! Cannot meh! :/ bleh!
Hehe! Bt as long as i'm nt harmin anyone! My motto as always! Hehe!
Yeah! Anw e discussion during e grp supervision was awesome! & v relevant to our work also! Like! Hehhe! & e sitting arrangement was like better? Coz all e sups & us sat ard the table! :) hehehe!
I enjoyed e discussion actually! & got some affirmation for speakin! & coz it's moral & ethics! Nt really correct or wrong! So i jus spoke my mind! Hehehe! Awesome! :)
Yeah! Shall end here! Shalln't talk any further! Hopefully nxt wk will b fun & awesome! Hehe! Shall ask hui en if can let me interview patients nxt wk! & i'm wondering hw will things b like w e follow-up cases & e case i'm gg to present & do for my report!! Hmm...
Bt yep! :D awesome! Today nt exceptionally happy or upset! Quite balanced! :D so i'm quite pleased! :D heheheh! Dun haf e super happy feel, bt it's ok! As long as there is this little bit! Cannot b greedy!!! :D heheh!
Yeah! I tink it's time for me to slowly prep for separation also? Hahahah! Lol! Time again! 4 more wks! Bt placement is really fast this time! I'm glad i'm startin to moderate out a bit my expectations of havin a good r/s w my sup! Hheheh!
Bt anw! It was really hilarious jus nw! I kept smiling at weiping during e grp supervision! So there was once initially wen julia was speakin, i jus looked over den she made eye contact mah! Den i make lo! Den i turn back to my sup, den turn back to her, den i giggled den she giggled also! Den she look at my sup & i looked also, den my sup looked at us, den she went "what's wrong kheng hwee?!" hahahahaha! Den we burst out laughin! All 3 of us! Hehehe! Den i said "coz i look over den she was lookin at me mah!" lol! Tt's really hilarious! Tink i scare weiping a little! She looked like i 对 her got any 企图 like tt! Lol!
E first grp supervision i scared pei san also! She asked why i kept lookin at her! Lol! So i better stop makin so much eye contact w ppl! Hehehe! It's jus politeness & cheeky! Heheheh! Bt b4 i go, i'll tell weiping this! Heheheh! A little to explain! Bt i'm nt really tt worried! Coz i dun tink she will misunderstand or anythin! Jus a little scared ltr she tink i'm some bian tai or sth! Hehehe!
Yep! :D
Ok! Awesome! :D tt's it! & had a super fun time during grp supervision! :D heheheh!
Kheng:)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
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I tink i'm progressin towards e verge liao! Hmm.. Jus nw kena shot for using phone again! Nt v jiatlat bt kena lo! Bt it's ok! Small thing! Hehe!
Den came back ask them help me bring stuff back coz i wanted to go toilet, den they said i v mafan! :/:/
Hmm.. Jus feel tt today's trigger point a little lower! So quite scared i'll explode or sth!
Actually today's mood quite good de leh! Hehe! Jus nw at case, super dun dare to ask bt nt really affected also! I tink after yest's supervision & talkin, nt as easily affected liao! :p hehe!
& goodness! My sup is still kena shot!
& goodness, dislike e way my dear fren tells me "u mus learn!" maybe tt's her way of protectin herself/hiding also! Tt she hopes tt i can rise up to it so tt she dun haf to "feel bad" for makin me feel so upset tt day? Lol!
Heh! Bt jus nw i jus told her to give me my phone back! I dun tink i was super fierce bt i was definitely more gan chiong than normally! If tt's fierce, den she shld look at hw she usually speaks to me!
I tink i'm on e attack rise nw! Heh! Nt v friendly!
I tink i've been attacked for too long liao! Nw a bit over-reacting! Hehe!
Or maybe this morn din sleep on bus long enuff! :p heh!
Kheng.
Den came back ask them help me bring stuff back coz i wanted to go toilet, den they said i v mafan! :/:/
Hmm.. Jus feel tt today's trigger point a little lower! So quite scared i'll explode or sth!
Actually today's mood quite good de leh! Hehe! Jus nw at case, super dun dare to ask bt nt really affected also! I tink after yest's supervision & talkin, nt as easily affected liao! :p hehe!
& goodness! My sup is still kena shot!
& goodness, dislike e way my dear fren tells me "u mus learn!" maybe tt's her way of protectin herself/hiding also! Tt she hopes tt i can rise up to it so tt she dun haf to "feel bad" for makin me feel so upset tt day? Lol!
Heh! Bt jus nw i jus told her to give me my phone back! I dun tink i was super fierce bt i was definitely more gan chiong than normally! If tt's fierce, den she shld look at hw she usually speaks to me!
I tink i'm on e attack rise nw! Heh! Nt v friendly!
I tink i've been attacked for too long liao! Nw a bit over-reacting! Hehe!
Or maybe this morn din sleep on bus long enuff! :p heh!
Kheng.
Blessed 14!
Hehe! Yay! Happy again today!! :D hehe! Finally a post tt shows tt i'm pickin up! Hehe! Told pau dunno whether izzit her bdae luck or i'm fated w e no 14! Hahaha! Today had an awesome supervision! :D heehe!
Yeha! Bt talk bout e bad thing first! Haha! Jus nw i wanted to show marian my reflection! Wanted to show her e part where i reflected tt we shld jus ans & nt hesistate! Hehe! Den she said "i don't wan! I don't wan ur reflections to affect me!"
Heh! I tink she thot i wanted to show her bout grp work! Hehehe! I guess she was affected too! Haha! Jus nt as affected as me? :p heheh! Hmm.. Nw i'm startin to wonder whether did she process w her sup bout my part also! Hahaha! Bt i djn do anythin hostile hor! I hope she can remain P&C w regards to tt! Haha! I also wan to tell kaiyi wat happened there esp wen e session became quite open jus nw! I jus hope she will nt reveal too much! Bt even if she do, i dun care! Hehe!
Yah! & of coz! Dun like e feelin of being rejected! Hehe! I like bein loved by everyone! Hahaha! Bt it's ok! Hehe! She dun wan to see it's fine! Hehe! Plus i dun tink many ppl will b truly interested in seein also! Hehe! I'm fine w it! *winks*
& nw! Can share my happiness liao!!!! :D heheh!
Yeah! This morn kept dozin off at GWR! Thank goodness huiwen was tryin super hard to wake me up! Hehe! Tho i still kept dozin off! :p heheh!
Den after came back, went to kaiyi to check stuff w her! Thot it wasn't a good idea to bring up supervision le! Hehehe! Bt well, she brought it up! Hehe! & we fixed at 2pm! :D heheh!
Den.. Yeah! Wen we came back, she was talkin. Den she passed me my learnin log & asked me anythin else? Den i was like, har. This is supervision ah? Den i asked bout e form i was supposed to fill! Heheh! Den wen i came back w e form, she went "m i supposed to meet u for supervision?" den i said, yah! Haha! & yeah, in for supervision we went! :D
& goodness! We started w discussion of cases! She gave me e info for new case to follow up! Hehe! & i was like, jiatlat, like tt hw to bring in my concern! Jus gg end like tt?
Hehe! Den she asked me bout hw was e p/c to pt! Heeh! & she linked to hw i did e interview on mon! Hehe! We talked bout e paraphrasin part again! Hehe! My sup showed to me tt i had feelings & affirmed me! Hehe! & made me practise e reflectin of feelings! Hehe! There was this initial attempt to wan to run again! Hahah! Bt i caught myself in time & forced myself to practise! Hehe! Glad i did! Coz my sup pointed out tt i could reflect! & i hit almost all e points! Hahaha!
Bt there was e epic moment wen i said "i feel sorry for u!" den she shook head.. & i jus looked at her, & stoned! I tink i gave e "den wat now face? *scared*" & she said "try again! :)" hahaha! So i tried! Hehehe! This is hw fearful i'm of failing! Heh!
Den after tt kaiyi said really a lot! Demo hw to reflect also! Quite glad coz reall bout e same & she showed me hw else i could bring my msg across! Hehe! & she gave e super good analogy of shooting! E things can go off target! Bt unless i try, i will nv get it right! & most impt-ly, i've nth to lose!! :) hehe! Jus shoot! Hehe! I've tonnes of bullets w me! Heheh!
Yeah! & she said u can try! It's a "safe environment!" & i went, yah! I shld trust kaiyi! Hehe! She wun judge me lah! Haha! She will lah, bt she will b supportive also!! Heheh! Yep! Tt phrase kinda hit wat i was fearin all these while & gave me some faith tt i can trust kaiyi!
Yep! & she said "i've been encouragin u to take risk rite?" den i said "yah!" hhehe!
Lol! Forgot to save jus nw! Haf to retype!!!
Yah! Den after tt:
Kaiyi: anythin else?
Me: umm..
Kaiyi: can b bout anythin, need nt b bout cases
Me: *eyes flutterin ard*
kaiyi: why? Thinkin whether to say/tell me or nt har?
Me: yah! :p
*phone rang & she picked up*
Kaiyi: so?
Me: hehe! Actually i'm ok nw lah.. Bt i was quite upset tt day after e grp work! & yest also!
Kaiyi: upset w?
Me: myself?
Kaiyi: only urself?
Me: yah..
Kaiyi: (she said sth tt i din catch coz:)
Me: why did u ask tt? :p
Kaiyi: why? (den she also gave tt cheeky smile!)
Me: heheheh! No...
Kaiyi: who did u tink i was referrin to?
Me: *am chio*
kaiyi: were u upset w marian? (hahahahah! Kaiyi said it! Yay!!!! Heheheh! Maybe it could b observed! Or maybe it was jus a speculation by logic! Hhehe! Bt yeah! :p)
& of coz i was thinkin whether to say or nt! I wanted to b truthful w kaiyi, bt cannot talk bad bout marian also! Plus no secrets!!! Hehe! & i dun wan to bitched also! 己所不欲，勿施于人! Yeah!
Bt i really din wan to lie! Bt i really din feel upset w her! Hehe! I was like "i wan to speak!! Arghh!" bt i was also glad i din haf to speak! Hehehe! Oops! Din tell kaiyi this!
Yeah! So we explored further bout hw i felt & stuff! Hehe! She asked me hw i managed to feel better! Hehe! Den i said coz gt sth to do yest afternoon? & also lunch! Hehe!
It was like super epic.. She said this quite immediately after i went into this topic:
Kaiyi: i forgot to tell u this! U noe e first wk i wasn't ard, u followed brandon rite? U noe wat did he say to me?
Me: *shook head*
kaiyi: he said tt u ask a lot of qn! So he thot durin e grp, it'll b e reverse!
Me: hehe!
I tink kaiyi jus believes in this potential in me, izzit? Hehehe! Wen she said tt, it was like a "i noe u can! Why r u lockin ur potential up?" kind of feelin! Tt's empowerin becoz i see it as brandon's positive "appraisal" of me! & also e feel tt kaiyi believed in me! Heheh! It was a really nice feelin! Heeh!
& den i wonder right.. Actually i'm jus fearful to ask kaiyi! Wasted 5wks le! Do i tink i'll b able to break thru e fear & jus ask? Heeh! She said i mus take risks rite? Ok! I shall try! Jus askin her anythin & everythin! Of coz nt wen she's busy! Heheh! Dun over-do it also! Heheheh! Ltr she asks wat cause e change, den will b epic! :p
Yep! & after tt we talk bout wat is e difference for me in talkin to pt & talkin to frens! Hehe! I'm glad tt actually kaiyi's presence makes me v self-conscious! Hehe! Coz if i can overcome this, i can overcome it w everyone else in future! Hahahah! Coz she really is e type tt will "paralyse" me e most liao i guess! Hehe!
Someone whom i like & respect & yet, fear! Hhehe! Others is jus dun like, dun respect or dun fear! Hehehe!
Yeah! If i'm able to overcome this, i'll tell her eventually! Hahahaha! Tt she was someone whom i liked, respected & feared! Hahaha!
Yeah! Den she asked me hw do i view failure. Den i said, nt v used to it. Den asked, so u're A student? Den i said, yah, wen i was young? Den she asked so wen did u first experience failure? & she asked if i was comfortable w sharin!
Hehe! & i blabbered on bout hw my grades aren't so awesome after i came uni & bout hw placement was cui for me! Hehe! Hmm.. Nw tt i'm thinkin, i tink kaiyi was reflectin my feelings:
"i mean i can tell also, frm day one where u told me ur sup had no time for u, to rea ur recordings..." (i referrin to mamasan! Bt no badmouthin intention k!) & i clarified tt mamasan wasn't supposed to b supervisin me on tt also!)
"so u went thru 10 wks of placement, feelin tt u din improve much, still e same..."
Heheh! Yah! Kaiyi was reflectin! Hehe! Bt it din appear to me so, coz it was v natural! Hehe!
Yah!
Hehe! It's good processin there! Coz she asked me bout e "gigglin" part & wen she asked, den i realised yah hor! I haven't been gigglin a lot nw! Hehe! Coz i rmb & remind myself! :p hehehe!
Yeah! & den kaiyi asked, so wat's e context of me sharin all tt! Hahah! Oops! I blabbered too much? Haha! Bt yeah! I said "coz u asked me wen i first experienced failure" den she said "um.."
Lol! Nw tt i'm thinkin bout it, i really quite vulnerable ah! Like tt den called failure! Hahaha! Bt i really dun haf e opportunity to experience failure for big time mah! Tt's why i'm weak! Bt these r things tt hit me hard leh! Hehe!
Yep! Den after tt kaiyi went on to sth else.. Den she linked back & said "yah.. Talkin bout grp work. Yep! I mean, it's normal! Normal to b feelin sad! I was v sad also! My sup was v fierce u noe? (den she gave the, u're lucky i'm nt like tt face!) & after tt was v scared(forgot wat was e word she used liao), to do it for e 2nd time.. Bt i jus had to do it..."
Hehe! Yep! & somehow, frm kaiyi's mouth, jus therapeutic! Coz even my sup said "it's normal to b sad! Sad for 2 days!" heheheh! Yah! I tink coz i thot she will tink i quite useless! Or she would tink tt after processin, i shld b ok! Or she will ask me hw does tt emotion affect me or wat! I dun wan to process! I wan to b empathised! & she did it! Yay!!!
Of coz there were still instances wen i felt this little bit of urge to tear! Bt e tears din really whelm up! :D
Yeah! So it's really therapeutic! Coz she empathised!!! :D hehe! & i jus self-disclosed quite a bit! Shared bout my fears & all e things tt made me really v affected & stuff! Hehe!
Yep! & after tt, i smiled! Heheh! & she asked "anythin else?" den i said no:) hheheh!
Yeah! & cannot forget this! After i talked bout e grpwork, she asked "so u wna try again?" den i went the "no! :(:(:(" face! W all e fears & all tt! Hehe! Den she started to ask if shld do it w e supervisor or sth! Den i nodded my head happily at her! Hehe! Actualy i'm jus siao! I feel v pressurized w kaiyi ard(actually nt rally so nw), bt i jus like to do it w her! this is jus 反贱！:p bt it's ok! I'm wonderin hw e final grp supervision is gg to turn out!
She really damn evil! While she was suggestin e sup & student do supervision tgt, i was thinkin do sayang grp work tgt! Den end up she was thinkin bout e final supervision! Damn evil!!!
She went, "u gave me an idea!" den laughed super cheekily! Den i asked, why u laugh until so... Was tryin to find a word to replace "evil"! Hahah! Bt in e end ahe came up w "cheeky"! Den i said "yah!!!" den she burst out laughin! Hahahah! So haf i achieved my goal? Hehe! Was hopin i'll b able to talk to my sup more casually & be able to make her laugh! Like she usually does w her colleagues! Hehe! Well, i did it! Heh!
Yah! & den she was like "okay? U do ah? E grp work? I was still thinkin wat to do for e final session!" den i was like "har!!!", "dun wan can? *please*" & she was like "try la.. Ur peers mah! Less stressful! :p" & i was thinkin, "true! Better than sayang!" hahahah! Bt was hopin can relax durin final session loh! & goodness! So weird! I facilitate! It's like i'm also part of e intern grp leh! Heh! Bt well my sup said "eh, i alr give discount liao leh." hahah! & i went "alright alright, yes mam!" hehhh! Inside my head! :p bt her cheeky look & e BOL really made me laugh also! Hahah! Bt she said she gg discuss w cheryl they all! Hahaha!
Bt in btw, she also suggested puttin my name on e outpatient roster! Actually she said is cheryl suggest to boost my confidence de! Den i went like "HAR........" & she was like "wah! Ur reaction real big!" hahahah! Den i was like "hmm.. Tt means my sup got go tell cheryl hw i'm like nw!! Omg!"
Hehe! I like e idea coz cool leh, my name on e roster! Bt was thinkin can i make it or nt! & wat will e other workers tink?! An intern only, put her name there?! Yah! So i was really quite hesistant!
I like e idea also coz it's good practice! I like e idea tt it'll b my case! Bt after tt, my sup also said tt i'll jus b takin over her slot lo! & she'll see e cases w me! So nt much difference also mah! Hahaha!
Den she said, tt's e way u learn izzit? Pressure?
Haha! I thot for a while, den i nodded! Coz i tink i welcome challenges! Esp wen e person who throws me e challenge believes i've e ability to overcome it! Hehhe! Maybe kaiyi dun, bt e impression i got was tt she has! :p heheheh!
Yah! So okay lo.. Hehe! She said, she also work better w challenge! Heheh! She was like "i also!" hahahah! Den i was like, hahahahah! Why she tell me this! Heheh! Bt i like! Haha! Is this self-disclosure? Heheheh! Bt i felt trusted! Heheh!
Yah! Den she said "yah rite, who will go challenge themselves?" hahahaha! Den i went yeah! Heheheh!
Yep! Nt bad! There was like common grounds to work on nw? :p hehehe! Bt was like quite happy after e supervision, coz felt encouraged, understood & challenged! :D heheheh!
My sup is really v funny & cute! Hehe! Finally walked out of supervision feelin really super empowered! Heheheh!
& told my sup to give me direct feedback also! Haha! Told her i like her to throw me questions & make me tink! Bt need feedback also! Hehe! So she said, "a mix la? Ok! :)" den i said "yah! Coz tt time after u told me to speak louder, i spoke louder!" hahahahaha! Den she said "yah! I observed tt too!" hehehehh!
Yeah! Wonderin if tmr morn will haf cases! Lookin forward!!!! :D heheheh!
Yea! & there were also other nice parts! Hehe! This morn after i checked w her on e case, went to check w Ginn bout e resources! Den went back to buff up my info! Hehe! Den she walked over & heard her check w grace(izzit her name ah?) bout hw to settle e part tt was ambiguous for e case we saw tgt! Hehe! Den after tt she came over & update me on e pt i was followin up w! Forgot wat she said, bt yeah! Oh ya! She said i mus record down all e p/c i make! Even my discussion w her! Goodness! After tt wen i was doin e recordin, i nearly fainted! Coz i dunno hw to address myself, student intern discussed w supervisor? Hahahah! Coz usually recordin will write MSW! Hardly will write me, or kaiyi or khenghwee de! Heheheh!
Bt anw, After tt, den she told me e case recordings "i read them!! Er, good! V well-written(did she say this?) den i jus added on tt pt was seen by MSW & student intern! & end off w recording written by: __ & vetted by so & so!
Yah! Hehe! & b4 lunch i saw her email!! Hahahah! She praised me for my recordin again! :D concise & accurate izzit? Hhehehe! I tink she jus wanted to say sth nice b4 she ask me for tt pt's full name? Hahahah! Bt i dun haf e paper!!! Hehehe!
Eh! Nw tt i'm tinkin bout it, i tink she left e file at Room 10 w michael leh! She like nv bring back! Hmm.. Tmr check w her! Hehe!
Bt of coz after e supervision, i dun dare to b too excited & overstep boundary also! Heheheh! Yep! :D
Really lookin forward to an excitin morn tmr! I hope there're cases! Hehehe!
Yep! :D
Bt today is really a happy day! :D jus like mon! & of coz in btw giap 2 emo days! Heheheh! Bt it's ok, my sup said it's ok to b sad hor! Hahahahah!
Bt yep! :D hehehe! Happy! :D & empowered! :D heheh!
Kheng. :D
Yeha! Bt talk bout e bad thing first! Haha! Jus nw i wanted to show marian my reflection! Wanted to show her e part where i reflected tt we shld jus ans & nt hesistate! Hehe! Den she said "i don't wan! I don't wan ur reflections to affect me!"
Heh! I tink she thot i wanted to show her bout grp work! Hehehe! I guess she was affected too! Haha! Jus nt as affected as me? :p heheh! Hmm.. Nw i'm startin to wonder whether did she process w her sup bout my part also! Hahaha! Bt i djn do anythin hostile hor! I hope she can remain P&C w regards to tt! Haha! I also wan to tell kaiyi wat happened there esp wen e session became quite open jus nw! I jus hope she will nt reveal too much! Bt even if she do, i dun care! Hehe!
Yah! & of coz! Dun like e feelin of being rejected! Hehe! I like bein loved by everyone! Hahaha! Bt it's ok! Hehe! She dun wan to see it's fine! Hehe! Plus i dun tink many ppl will b truly interested in seein also! Hehe! I'm fine w it! *winks*
& nw! Can share my happiness liao!!!! :D heheh!
Yeah! This morn kept dozin off at GWR! Thank goodness huiwen was tryin super hard to wake me up! Hehe! Tho i still kept dozin off! :p heheh!
Den after came back, went to kaiyi to check stuff w her! Thot it wasn't a good idea to bring up supervision le! Hehehe! Bt well, she brought it up! Hehe! & we fixed at 2pm! :D heheh!
Den.. Yeah! Wen we came back, she was talkin. Den she passed me my learnin log & asked me anythin else? Den i was like, har. This is supervision ah? Den i asked bout e form i was supposed to fill! Heheh! Den wen i came back w e form, she went "m i supposed to meet u for supervision?" den i said, yah! Haha! & yeah, in for supervision we went! :D
& goodness! We started w discussion of cases! She gave me e info for new case to follow up! Hehe! & i was like, jiatlat, like tt hw to bring in my concern! Jus gg end like tt?
Hehe! Den she asked me bout hw was e p/c to pt! Heeh! & she linked to hw i did e interview on mon! Hehe! We talked bout e paraphrasin part again! Hehe! My sup showed to me tt i had feelings & affirmed me! Hehe! & made me practise e reflectin of feelings! Hehe! There was this initial attempt to wan to run again! Hahah! Bt i caught myself in time & forced myself to practise! Hehe! Glad i did! Coz my sup pointed out tt i could reflect! & i hit almost all e points! Hahaha!
Bt there was e epic moment wen i said "i feel sorry for u!" den she shook head.. & i jus looked at her, & stoned! I tink i gave e "den wat now face? *scared*" & she said "try again! :)" hahaha! So i tried! Hehehe! This is hw fearful i'm of failing! Heh!
Den after tt kaiyi said really a lot! Demo hw to reflect also! Quite glad coz reall bout e same & she showed me hw else i could bring my msg across! Hehe! & she gave e super good analogy of shooting! E things can go off target! Bt unless i try, i will nv get it right! & most impt-ly, i've nth to lose!! :) hehe! Jus shoot! Hehe! I've tonnes of bullets w me! Heheh!
Yeah! & she said u can try! It's a "safe environment!" & i went, yah! I shld trust kaiyi! Hehe! She wun judge me lah! Haha! She will lah, bt she will b supportive also!! Heheh! Yep! Tt phrase kinda hit wat i was fearin all these while & gave me some faith tt i can trust kaiyi!
Yep! & she said "i've been encouragin u to take risk rite?" den i said "yah!" hhehe!
Lol! Forgot to save jus nw! Haf to retype!!!
Yah! Den after tt:
Kaiyi: anythin else?
Me: umm..
Kaiyi: can b bout anythin, need nt b bout cases
Me: *eyes flutterin ard*
kaiyi: why? Thinkin whether to say/tell me or nt har?
Me: yah! :p
*phone rang & she picked up*
Kaiyi: so?
Me: hehe! Actually i'm ok nw lah.. Bt i was quite upset tt day after e grp work! & yest also!
Kaiyi: upset w?
Me: myself?
Kaiyi: only urself?
Me: yah..
Kaiyi: (she said sth tt i din catch coz:)
Me: why did u ask tt? :p
Kaiyi: why? (den she also gave tt cheeky smile!)
Me: heheheh! No...
Kaiyi: who did u tink i was referrin to?
Me: *am chio*
kaiyi: were u upset w marian? (hahahahah! Kaiyi said it! Yay!!!! Heheheh! Maybe it could b observed! Or maybe it was jus a speculation by logic! Hhehe! Bt yeah! :p)
& of coz i was thinkin whether to say or nt! I wanted to b truthful w kaiyi, bt cannot talk bad bout marian also! Plus no secrets!!! Hehe! & i dun wan to bitched also! 己所不欲，勿施于人! Yeah!
Bt i really din wan to lie! Bt i really din feel upset w her! Hehe! I was like "i wan to speak!! Arghh!" bt i was also glad i din haf to speak! Hehehe! Oops! Din tell kaiyi this!
Yeah! So we explored further bout hw i felt & stuff! Hehe! She asked me hw i managed to feel better! Hehe! Den i said coz gt sth to do yest afternoon? & also lunch! Hehe!
It was like super epic.. She said this quite immediately after i went into this topic:
Kaiyi: i forgot to tell u this! U noe e first wk i wasn't ard, u followed brandon rite? U noe wat did he say to me?
Me: *shook head*
kaiyi: he said tt u ask a lot of qn! So he thot durin e grp, it'll b e reverse!
Me: hehe!
I tink kaiyi jus believes in this potential in me, izzit? Hehehe! Wen she said tt, it was like a "i noe u can! Why r u lockin ur potential up?" kind of feelin! Tt's empowerin becoz i see it as brandon's positive "appraisal" of me! & also e feel tt kaiyi believed in me! Heheh! It was a really nice feelin! Heeh!
& den i wonder right.. Actually i'm jus fearful to ask kaiyi! Wasted 5wks le! Do i tink i'll b able to break thru e fear & jus ask? Heeh! She said i mus take risks rite? Ok! I shall try! Jus askin her anythin & everythin! Of coz nt wen she's busy! Heheh! Dun over-do it also! Heheheh! Ltr she asks wat cause e change, den will b epic! :p
Yep! & after tt we talk bout wat is e difference for me in talkin to pt & talkin to frens! Hehe! I'm glad tt actually kaiyi's presence makes me v self-conscious! Hehe! Coz if i can overcome this, i can overcome it w everyone else in future! Hahahah! Coz she really is e type tt will "paralyse" me e most liao i guess! Hehe!
Someone whom i like & respect & yet, fear! Hhehe! Others is jus dun like, dun respect or dun fear! Hehehe!
Yeah! If i'm able to overcome this, i'll tell her eventually! Hahahaha! Tt she was someone whom i liked, respected & feared! Hahaha!
Yeah! Den she asked me hw do i view failure. Den i said, nt v used to it. Den asked, so u're A student? Den i said, yah, wen i was young? Den she asked so wen did u first experience failure? & she asked if i was comfortable w sharin!
Hehe! & i blabbered on bout hw my grades aren't so awesome after i came uni & bout hw placement was cui for me! Hehe! Hmm.. Nw tt i'm thinkin, i tink kaiyi was reflectin my feelings:
"i mean i can tell also, frm day one where u told me ur sup had no time for u, to rea ur recordings..." (i referrin to mamasan! Bt no badmouthin intention k!) & i clarified tt mamasan wasn't supposed to b supervisin me on tt also!)
"so u went thru 10 wks of placement, feelin tt u din improve much, still e same..."
Heheh! Yah! Kaiyi was reflectin! Hehe! Bt it din appear to me so, coz it was v natural! Hehe!
Yah!
Hehe! It's good processin there! Coz she asked me bout e "gigglin" part & wen she asked, den i realised yah hor! I haven't been gigglin a lot nw! Hehe! Coz i rmb & remind myself! :p hehehe!
Yeah! & den kaiyi asked, so wat's e context of me sharin all tt! Hahah! Oops! I blabbered too much? Haha! Bt yeah! I said "coz u asked me wen i first experienced failure" den she said "um.."
Lol! Nw tt i'm thinkin bout it, i really quite vulnerable ah! Like tt den called failure! Hahaha! Bt i really dun haf e opportunity to experience failure for big time mah! Tt's why i'm weak! Bt these r things tt hit me hard leh! Hehe!
Yep! Den after tt kaiyi went on to sth else.. Den she linked back & said "yah.. Talkin bout grp work. Yep! I mean, it's normal! Normal to b feelin sad! I was v sad also! My sup was v fierce u noe? (den she gave the, u're lucky i'm nt like tt face!) & after tt was v scared(forgot wat was e word she used liao), to do it for e 2nd time.. Bt i jus had to do it..."
Hehe! Yep! & somehow, frm kaiyi's mouth, jus therapeutic! Coz even my sup said "it's normal to b sad! Sad for 2 days!" heheheh! Yah! I tink coz i thot she will tink i quite useless! Or she would tink tt after processin, i shld b ok! Or she will ask me hw does tt emotion affect me or wat! I dun wan to process! I wan to b empathised! & she did it! Yay!!!
Of coz there were still instances wen i felt this little bit of urge to tear! Bt e tears din really whelm up! :D
Yeah! So it's really therapeutic! Coz she empathised!!! :D hehe! & i jus self-disclosed quite a bit! Shared bout my fears & all e things tt made me really v affected & stuff! Hehe!
Yep! & after tt, i smiled! Heheh! & she asked "anythin else?" den i said no:) hheheh!
Yeah! & cannot forget this! After i talked bout e grpwork, she asked "so u wna try again?" den i went the "no! :(:(:(" face! W all e fears & all tt! Hehe! Den she started to ask if shld do it w e supervisor or sth! Den i nodded my head happily at her! Hehe! Actualy i'm jus siao! I feel v pressurized w kaiyi ard(actually nt rally so nw), bt i jus like to do it w her! this is jus 反贱！:p bt it's ok! I'm wonderin hw e final grp supervision is gg to turn out!
She really damn evil! While she was suggestin e sup & student do supervision tgt, i was thinkin do sayang grp work tgt! Den end up she was thinkin bout e final supervision! Damn evil!!!
She went, "u gave me an idea!" den laughed super cheekily! Den i asked, why u laugh until so... Was tryin to find a word to replace "evil"! Hahah! Bt in e end ahe came up w "cheeky"! Den i said "yah!!!" den she burst out laughin! Hahahah! So haf i achieved my goal? Hehe! Was hopin i'll b able to talk to my sup more casually & be able to make her laugh! Like she usually does w her colleagues! Hehe! Well, i did it! Heh!
Yah! & den she was like "okay? U do ah? E grp work? I was still thinkin wat to do for e final session!" den i was like "har!!!", "dun wan can? *please*" & she was like "try la.. Ur peers mah! Less stressful! :p" & i was thinkin, "true! Better than sayang!" hahahah! Bt was hopin can relax durin final session loh! & goodness! So weird! I facilitate! It's like i'm also part of e intern grp leh! Heh! Bt well my sup said "eh, i alr give discount liao leh." hahah! & i went "alright alright, yes mam!" hehhh! Inside my head! :p bt her cheeky look & e BOL really made me laugh also! Hahah! Bt she said she gg discuss w cheryl they all! Hahaha!
Bt in btw, she also suggested puttin my name on e outpatient roster! Actually she said is cheryl suggest to boost my confidence de! Den i went like "HAR........" & she was like "wah! Ur reaction real big!" hahahah! Den i was like "hmm.. Tt means my sup got go tell cheryl hw i'm like nw!! Omg!"
Hehe! I like e idea coz cool leh, my name on e roster! Bt was thinkin can i make it or nt! & wat will e other workers tink?! An intern only, put her name there?! Yah! So i was really quite hesistant!
I like e idea also coz it's good practice! I like e idea tt it'll b my case! Bt after tt, my sup also said tt i'll jus b takin over her slot lo! & she'll see e cases w me! So nt much difference also mah! Hahaha!
Den she said, tt's e way u learn izzit? Pressure?
Haha! I thot for a while, den i nodded! Coz i tink i welcome challenges! Esp wen e person who throws me e challenge believes i've e ability to overcome it! Hehhe! Maybe kaiyi dun, bt e impression i got was tt she has! :p heheheh!
Yah! So okay lo.. Hehe! She said, she also work better w challenge! Heheh! She was like "i also!" hahahah! Den i was like, hahahahah! Why she tell me this! Heheh! Bt i like! Haha! Is this self-disclosure? Heheheh! Bt i felt trusted! Heheh!
Yah! Den she said "yah rite, who will go challenge themselves?" hahahaha! Den i went yeah! Heheheh!
Yep! Nt bad! There was like common grounds to work on nw? :p hehehe! Bt was like quite happy after e supervision, coz felt encouraged, understood & challenged! :D heheheh!
My sup is really v funny & cute! Hehe! Finally walked out of supervision feelin really super empowered! Heheheh!
& told my sup to give me direct feedback also! Haha! Told her i like her to throw me questions & make me tink! Bt need feedback also! Hehe! So she said, "a mix la? Ok! :)" den i said "yah! Coz tt time after u told me to speak louder, i spoke louder!" hahahahaha! Den she said "yah! I observed tt too!" hehehehh!
Yeah! Wonderin if tmr morn will haf cases! Lookin forward!!!! :D heheheh!
Yea! & there were also other nice parts! Hehe! This morn after i checked w her on e case, went to check w Ginn bout e resources! Den went back to buff up my info! Hehe! Den she walked over & heard her check w grace(izzit her name ah?) bout hw to settle e part tt was ambiguous for e case we saw tgt! Hehe! Den after tt she came over & update me on e pt i was followin up w! Forgot wat she said, bt yeah! Oh ya! She said i mus record down all e p/c i make! Even my discussion w her! Goodness! After tt wen i was doin e recordin, i nearly fainted! Coz i dunno hw to address myself, student intern discussed w supervisor? Hahahah! Coz usually recordin will write MSW! Hardly will write me, or kaiyi or khenghwee de! Heheheh!
Bt anw, After tt, den she told me e case recordings "i read them!! Er, good! V well-written(did she say this?) den i jus added on tt pt was seen by MSW & student intern! & end off w recording written by: __ & vetted by so & so!
Yah! Hehe! & b4 lunch i saw her email!! Hahahah! She praised me for my recordin again! :D concise & accurate izzit? Hhehehe! I tink she jus wanted to say sth nice b4 she ask me for tt pt's full name? Hahahah! Bt i dun haf e paper!!! Hehehe!
Eh! Nw tt i'm tinkin bout it, i tink she left e file at Room 10 w michael leh! She like nv bring back! Hmm.. Tmr check w her! Hehe!
Bt of coz after e supervision, i dun dare to b too excited & overstep boundary also! Heheheh! Yep! :D
Really lookin forward to an excitin morn tmr! I hope there're cases! Hehehe!
Yep! :D
Bt today is really a happy day! :D jus like mon! & of coz in btw giap 2 emo days! Heheheh! Bt it's ok, my sup said it's ok to b sad hor! Hahahahah!
Bt yep! :D hehehe! Happy! :D & empowered! :D heheh!
Kheng. :D
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