haha. man. it's 2326h nw. haha. nt supposed to be bloggin bt rather to be writing e appraisals for interact. haha. tho nt impt bt also cannot write rubbish, esp wen i promised to do it for aq n yx. haha. maybe like gei kiang again. haha. bt i'm nice n i love writing testi. so nt a prob wat:P haha.
yep. kept slackin, jus nw still watched 2shows in a row. nw strugglin. haven't even finish my ih essays. bt nvm. do in e bus tmr morn. haha. man. bt i felt quite happy wen i didn't push off e writing of testi, doin of ih tutorials or e run w fangyi despite feelin e overwhelming amt of things i've to do. haha. at least there's this 1 time tt i did wat i said i wld do. nt a loser. haha. at least for once:P haha.
yep. n felt e intensity tt i've to mug. 12weeks to A'levels! haha. mus always rmb wat mr han said,
the last thing u wan is to F-A-I-L in your A-L-E-V-E-L!
hahaha. yep. n jus nw felt so intense tt i wanted to like cease connections w e world like tt. den i thot i was bein a little extreme n siao. haha. i dun haf to resort to tt. as long as i gather momentum nw n keep it up. i'll be able to cope w my prelims n A's. haha. yep.
n coz was thinkin of e ceasin of connections tt's why i thot of askin tong out for subway. den since think already might as well do it. dun keep draggin or pushin. as e chinese sayin goes, ze ri4 bu4 ru zhuang4 ri4. yep. y wait. u nv noe wat will happen. yep.
n tho we aren't havin it on tmr nor this week n probably nt anytime soon. it doesn't matter la. haiz. suan4 le. recently attained Nirvana(sp?) yep. e change came frm an unknown place. it's nt coz i think think think den suddenly ling wu4, nor anythin frm outside changed me so strongly. bt suddenly dun feel tt super stickiness to tong alr. which is a good thing coz at least i wun feel so affected by e every little thing she does. haha. bt of coz e quality of friendship remains unchanged. at least i can still be certain tt i'm still e one who's takin e initiative to talk to her, to ask bout her, to ask her out. yep. so i'm still on e heavier side of e friendship. n she's still my best buddy tho nw me n ancestor like everyday see n talk:P haha. yep.
perhaps gettin on better terms w aq n yx helps ba. haha. yep. at least can reduce e moments when i'm left alone n wen my mind starts to wander n starts to feel upset n stuff again. yep. i'm gettin better(: haha. like illness like tt.
anw. adeline got H1N1. i hope she'll be fine. tho ben described till quite serious in his blog post, bt i think adeline will be fine de. pls let her be fine k! i really dun wan to touchwood see anythin happen! really is God bless pls! yep.
n tho a bit sad tt ben approached my sis n nt me to share e news, bt it's okay. i guess they're closer coz of e tuition. n i've to admit my sis is more inspirational n easier to mingle w. haha. yep. nt jealous le. everyone has his/her place ba. n i dun tink i can afford more time to improve my r/s w my cousin coz i treasure my own leisure time too. yep. haha. i jus noe hw to enjoy my life:P hehehe.
yep. n actually i jus find it a pity tt my sis feels tt way bout her life n our parents. i'm nt sayin she's wrong or she's unjustified. i've learnt n practised not to judge people or to critique their decisions. n i guess at least in this case i've did it. i'm pretty sure it's nt coz i dun care bout her or my parents. bt i really aren't judgin. haha. at least let me be "saint" for once?:P haha. yep.
i'm thankful for e air-con incident which made me realise tt my mum is kinda sandwiched b/w my dad n us. tho it might pretty much be due to her thinkin-too-much character, bt i seem to understand where she comes from. perhaps we've similar characters ba. or maybe she's had such a great influence on me. yep.
tho i hardly praise my mum, n i'm pretty sure she isn't e ideal mum in my heart, i guess i'm better able to understand her "plight"/viewpoint as compared to my siblings who're able to clearly identify my mum's strengths n be thankful for tt.
perhaps i've yet to reach their age to understand where they're coming frm ba. or perhaps we grew up in different conditions or we jus haf different characters ba. yep. watever it's, i jus hope tt my siblings wun take it too heart coz i think it might make them rather extreme n i feel tt this is like a very "indignant" feel on my sis's part n even tho i guess she's still quite satisfied w her life on e whole, this feel does bothers her n i jus feel tt this isn't really tt small a part. yep. i'm nt sure. bt i jus think tt she wld be better off w.o this burden. haiz. yep.
n for my bro, izzit this burden tt's makin him like this? i really hope he'll be able to da kai1 his xin1 jie2, move on in life n be truly happy. yep.
i dunno.i'm in no position to judge. nor m i tryin to make myself stand out or be better than them. i jus noe tt i truly wan all of them to be happy. n i really think they wld all be better off w.o their burdens. despite it being different for all 3 of them. i guess i'm rid of tt burden? yep. i hope ba(: haha.
yep. n today typin slower coz sprained my thumb yest wen playin bball w aq they all. really is like wat i always scold her "ka ceng1 ziun!" haha. bt ok, at least i enjoyed playin n foolin ard w them n provided ancestor w some entertainment!:P hehe.
yep. really nid go write testi le. haha.
1404
28/07/09
2347h
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