haiz. i mean all along also nothin. raihanah has never spoke to me like this b4. nt tt i'm taking advantage of her kindnes. i've always appreciated her nice way of talking to us. i mean, ya ppl make fun of the way she speak. bt she's jus doin her duty by tellin us the things to take note. n yep. jus nw e more serious lecture, yep, she's still doin her job.. bt i dun see why she was so aggitated. in a sense, it was first offence for me. n honestly, even tho i've been here for a month, today is my FIRST day at helpdesk on a weekday. i hope i dun sound like i'm finding excuses for myself. bt seriously, i'm still considered new for this task.
yes, she did tell me about the putting on hold thing, bt wen tt guy frm AFC was talking to selvi n den kamari, i've no idea tt i wasn't supposed to let them talk for so long. maybe i shld haf foreseen it, or be more alert, bt seriously i've NO IDEA tt i was supposed to do tt. i look at how e others work, n i follow. n i've nv been told tt ppl cannot speak on the phone for so long, n i bet the others dunno, coz if nt, sinthiya wun haf allowed me to let the person speak on the phone for "so long". i'm gettin a little sacarstic, bt...... argh!!!!!!!! n i've no idea tt talking to security over passes is not considered business/proper stuff. nt finding excuses, but i really HAVE NO IDEA!! argh.
i'm nt pissed eh, really. i was so upset. it's nt like very sad, nt very disappointing, nt bu shuang, nt v yuan1 wang4. jus a very non-positive feeing. e nearest shld be upset. bt it's nt like super super strong also la. bt jus nobody would feel happy wen such stuff happen la. hmm. jus nw after she left, dunno why tears whelmed up, luckily they didn't flow out. n wen i thot of tellin sinthiya tt i wrote her name down in the book, tears whelmed up again. bt again, they didn't flow out. i hope i wun see raihanah again for today. i noe she wasn't in any wrong, bt i also dun tink i'm in any wrong. so it's tt kind of feeling. wen i see her, i've to be respectful which i dun feel like doing now. i'm nt sayin she's nt worth my respect, jus tt i need time to calm myself down. bt of coz, this is jus wat i tink. if she will come up, she will come up. if we'll meet, we'll meet. it's nt up to me to decide. yep. so wat can i do? wait lo. pray hard lo.
rmb initially she also used to comment bout my hair n stuff. n i dun really like to see or haf her around too. coz dunno why, wen i see her, i would become like a super obedient gal. e guest tt she brings, i'll smile more to them n stuff. it's nt being fake. maybe tt's called havin double standards. n nt tt i care a hell lot bout this job, bt i jus very uncontrollably will display my "2nd standard" wen i see her, which i didn't like bout myself. so tt time, i always hoped tt she dun come to my counter n stuff.
bt after tt casual talk over CNY n angbaos, i kinda wasn't so "afraid" of her anymore n i guess i was able to control my "2nd standard". yep. tt day wen i was talkin to fadhilah(how to spell man?), we both agreed tt raihanah is a nice person. till nw i still tink she's. bt i still dun like e incident jus now. i hope i'm nt behavin very immaturely. i mean at least i still acknowledge the fact tt she's nice. i didn't bitch bout her. even tho my tone was a bit sarcastic wen i whined to mama king jus nw n explained to selvi n sinthiya, i was sayin facts. i was pretty sure i didn't add in opinions to use as facts tho my tone might haf said otherwise. oops. bt yep. bt i'm still upset. i guess after bein able to behave maturely, i retain e right to feel upset? hmm. sianzzz.
yep. i shld be thankful tt ppl involved were sinthiya n selvi. coz selvi i feel is someone who does her job well n wun anyhow complained n is a nice person. both personal observation n feedback frm e rest. yep. to tink i was still thinkin whether does she owe me an apology at first coz it was her who got me to call kamari. bt after tt i realised it shld be e other way round, it was me who gave her problems n e "lecture" frm raihanah. yep. n i apologised to her already jus nw wen she called n asked bout wat exactly happened. bt yep, i believe given her character, she's jus askin so tt she wun commit the same "mistake". yep.
n for sinthiya, she's also been very guai1. i shld say professional? yep. n she's v nice also. jus nw wen i went to apologise to her for the 2nd time, she told me wat raihanah said n she told me she didn't take it seriously. so i guess she's tryin to tell me tt it didn't really bother her n tt i dun haf to feel so bad? bt anw, even if she didn't mean tt, it's okay. coz i apologised. n she accepted(;
hehe. yep. anw raihanah jus called me. n of coz everything's like normal to her. maybe she thinks tt she has been v nice to us all along already. no warning letters. no scolding. repeated forgivenes. yep. bt still, it remains a fact tt she gave me a serious lecture jus nw(no inverted commas for lecture now) n i'm jus still quite unhappy. as mentioned, i do noe tt she did nth wrong, bt i jus am upset. yep.
yep. n supposed to do cards for my frens, den whole morn was like xia1 mang2-ing. coz at first got a lot of ppl coming in for work, nt v nice to be doin other stuff. den came all the different things, e 2 lectures, n den lunch. nw i jus feel like bloggin! hehe. yep.
here is jus too opened, cannot do own stuff. haha. bt i quite like here. coz really helpin many ppl wor. haha. tho is jus giving some road directions n den making some phonecalls. hehe. bt it's like u wun sit here for too long n stone. n if really bored, also can surf the net, jus like wat i'm doin nw:P hehe. yep. bt i guess everyone likes here, so i can't really exchange w them also. n i'm totally fine w being at symbiosis! that day wen i called for schedule, was so happy wen i heard thurs at symbiosis! really is mad. even after yest's mad rush tgt liya, i still like symbiosis. hehe.
yep.
hehe. anw today didn't do e stuff i was supposed to do. morn coz of all the xia1-mang2-ing. den after tt liyana was around so was talking to her. den after tt liya came to. den after tt sunitha n sinthiya came to sign out. haha. nw haf some free time. bt gng knock off soon. plus 5pm will haf many ppl coming out. so can't do much also. hehe. yep.
anw i realised i become like quite ham4 like tt. would jus like to say tt i'm not. i'm nt being afraid tt ppl will notice/observe n den complain den i'll lose my job. i jus dun wan to get anymore lectures from raihana, w or w.o the inverted commas! yep. n i noe i'll be givin her trouble if she has already told me bout the CCTV records thing n i still do stupid things, it's like now i noe. so i can't be considered an innocent party. n if i keep giving her trouble, she'll get pissed w us on e whole i tink. n dun wanna sabo my other colleagues la. they innocent. or rather this job, being quite fun n nt pay too badly, shld be quite important for them. so dun sabo them. hehe. yep. i'm nt being ham4. nt tryin to clarify too. coz i noe very well how important this job is to me. n e extent to which i'm willing to compromise. n e reasons behind each n every of my action n of the others! haha. yep.
anw wherever i work, really is nothin will happen. today other than the lifts, no complaints at all! haha. good for the technicians, n for myself also la:P hehe. yep. bt i still did stuff, nt say totally slack. hehe.
anw jus now i helped a blind lady! i was so happy! haha. mus bold this whole para! coz haf been bloggin so much, this is really the best part! haha. yep. coz liyana was checkin stuff on the comp, so i went toilet. coz of the break time thingy, no time to go toilet. so jus nw she around, so i went la. haha. yep. n after comin out of the toilet, saw e security talkin to a lady bt is a new guy, so i jus listened in case he gave wrong directions. den i saw e lady not moving, so i turned around n realised she's e blind lady tt i always see around, w a guy. i thot tt guy her bf/husband n always felt tt they lok so sweet tgt. coz tt guy is like bringing her around. haha yep. n who noes she was alone. hehe.
she wanted to take a cab, so i brought her out. haha. n i got observe de k. she is always holding on the arm of the guy nxt to her, like holding on to handrails like tt. so i took her hand n placed it on my arm. hehe. n e held her hand w e other, as in put on top like reassuring like tt. hehe. n of coz i told her where we were heading n stuff. haha. n at the taxi stand, was still thinkin whether to queue anot, den saw 2 ppl queuin outside the queue, so i jus asked the security(another new guy) n he very nice, he quickly went to flag another cab n opened the door for her. hehe. v willingly n non-despising. haha. yep.
n i feel so proud of myself! haha. coz i believe i gave tt lady assurance as i brought her out n i really helped her very willingly! hehe. hopefully she'll feel happy tt there's someone who helped her so sincerely. hehe. feel the warmth in this world! haha. n tt's why i always feel tt e most impt element in this world is love! haha. n e most desirable quality for me is also compassion. not bout responsibility n stuff. someone w compassion will do his/her job properly coz she wun wan to get others into trouble n she'll work for her boss properly. haha. yep. provided, compassion is nt coupled w laziness. bt someone w compassion is unlikely to be too lazy, even wen he/she wants to slack, she will think of the others tt she might be troubling n stuff. haha. yep.
anw i jus felt v happy!:D hehe. yep.
k la. shld be all for work. good thing is tt we nt sending mat off at the airport = i dun haf to reach home at like 12plus or 1plus. hehe. yep. bt anw still haf to reach home bout 10plus assuming mat leaves her house for e airport at 10pm? hehe. n i would still haf to go n slp coz if nt, tmr will die at symbiosis. hehe. yep.
n coz today nv do finish cards for frens, thinkin of cancelling tuition tmr. if nt ow to get the things out for e teachers? hmm. assumin tt i wan to haf proper sleep n den go out w tong n talk w a peace of mind, den relaxed relaxed go take results. n den go celebrate/mourn tgt!:P hehe. yep. which is why i totally dun think i wan to go for the YLC meeting coz if good of coz mus celebrate, if bad i've gotta be there for my frens/take e time off for myself. yep. n if i'm feeling okay, which is likely to be e case since i tink tt i'm rather prepared for shitty results, n i dun turn up for e meetin n go party or jus go for outing or watever shit, nt very nice. hmm. bt maybe tt day we wun stay until so late. depending. see first. if i really wan to go out w my frens, den jus heck. will jus check emails for updates. yep.
hehe. yep. cancel tuition tmr tt means starting the 2 tuition per week system later. i mean i can't possible make up for this week's n den haf 2 nxt week wen i need to make up 1 w yuxiang n haf the usual tuition. coz tt would mean 5tuitions in a week n at least 1 night shift, i need to haf my own life! as in nt to enjoy. bt to BREATHE! hehe. yep. tink baby's brother n parents will understand de la. haha. yep.
n oh ya, i jus realised like nxt morn got BTT den need come work. like i wun feel the impact of the results v strongly hor. like no time to really go n appreciate the results. whether it's good or bad. hmm. wait till sunday lo. haha. bt i'm most prepared for a nothing much results. would be considered good given e effort i put in. bt bad compared to my projected score. hehe. yep. bt wat can i expect given my effort. n jus like wat i said to my sis, if i really attached such great importance to my A's, i wouldn't haf put in that amount of effort for my results. n nw it's like worryin wun help. so why bother? n honestly, given my busy-ness, where got time to go n worry? hahaha. lol.
hehe. yep. anw i forgot 2 impt things at "work" to take down. haha. jus nw supposed to go out n eat w mama king den shun4 bian4 ta bao back for the first CISCO police guy tt i talked to here. coz there's only the other tt always call me "hwee hwee". as in i only on talkin terms w these 2. e rest i only smile wen i see them. hehe. yep. den mama king wait too long so she came n we lunched below. n i specially went out to help them da bao. who noes e auntie close shop le. hehe. nt my fault. bt jus wondering wat they had for lunch coz they didn't say da bao anythin back. hehe. yep. so.... hee.
n i kinda "waved sorry" to e guy wen he walked past coz i feel quite bad coz tho it wasn't me who asked the auntie to close shop, they still didn't get their food. n e first time they walked past i only returned the $ to them. nt sure if they were unhappy. hehe. so i felt tt it would be good if i kinda apologise. hehe. he said it's okay. haha. yep.
n another thing was altho handling the security passes gave me problems for the first time. e 2nd time wen i handled it, w another person of coz.. haha. it gave me a surprise coz as i was searching for the passes. i saw e one w my cute guy's name. hehe. later go kapo a bit. as in he took the pass le. bt dunno why e form still here. haven't pass to security yet. hehe. yep.
bt really need some try-outs at here. at least nw i noe how to issue the receipt, how to handle e security passes. n at least noe e security no n mr kamari's no. haha. yep. good experience.
bt even if i like here, i look at my schedule for the past few weeks. i work like at most 4days here. one will be night. one will be relief break. so at most 2 full days of 8-6. n in a sense, this week quite lucky coz both at my fav places(now helpdesk is also my fav place:P) hehe. yep. wonder if raihanah will still be nice n give me my symbiosis nxt week or wan me to rotate by gng CN/CS. nw i realised CN is my most hated place.
coz my "curse"/"blessing" works all the time, wherever i work, nothin much will happen. so it's like no crowd there. morn big sun. thru-out the day also so hot. e fan helps keep e heat away, bt it messes my hair up:S n need to talk to security guards. n to certain, will those haf nothin to say to. esp my "shuai4 ge1". hehe. yep.
at least as CS, i can still bring my own stuff to do. n if only tt guy yest didn't give me false hope n tell me tt he had e samsung M8800 pixon phone. at least my hopes wun be raised. n after withdrawing the money, he tell me dun haf. really was like heaven to hell. even after readin only my msg b4 n after gng to "buy" the phone, tong also could tell tat my emotions kinda went on a rollar coaster ride:S zzz. yep. nw really is wan the phone. bt after realising tt it wasn't there, i realised actually e phone also nth much. after e stupid iphone craze around, i feel like havin a phone tt can allow me to access internet too. esp wen my work place has free internet connection. jus tt i dun haf a laptop if nt i would be entertained even at CS. hehe. yep.
bt M8800 doesn't haf tt. n recently nt such a strong craze to take photos, so 8.0megapixels isn't really tt impt. e games inside, again, nth much. n w.o unlimited sms, tt phone wun be very fun either. coz i really like spamming tong w like 11smses at a go. w.o tt, tt phone would jus be a phone. haiz. yep.
bt still, e pink attracts me. e sms font. n of coz e idea of a NEW phone. hehe. yep. jus look around for it la. bt definitely can't haf it b4 my results are out le. unles like wat tong says, i'm meant to get it today. hehe. yep.
bu dong4 na4 ge4 ren zhan4 zai4 wo hou4 mian4 gan shen me4. ru guo wo ma shang ting, hao xiang4 hen xu1 wei3. ke shi4 wo you dan1 xin1 shou1 ta1 hui4 shuo1 ta1 zhan4 zai4 hou4 mian4 na4 me4 jiu le wo hai yi zhi yong4. bu4 guan le.
kk. loggin off.
kheng(:
03/03/10
status: feeling okay(:
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