Haha! 我一鼓作气, deleted away all e photos regardin dashen on my iphone! Hahah! Din wan to delete them then coz they were like my proud achievements! Of havin helped dashen, & bein so involved in her life! Bt nt they only remind me of my "achievement" of havin helped her fall into a relationship tt changed her in a way we all don't tink is good for her! At least nt for me! & i believe chongchong!
Haiz! + all those messages where she said 🐷💓🐒... Lol! They r jokes to me nw! Coz i tink she only loves shifu nw! Hahahah!
Yep! I tink i nv would haf imagined myself deletin these photos! They were so precious to me then! Bt those on fb, i dun wan to touch them first! Coz maybe a few months ltr, or wen la, if dashen 想通，i might still b able to treat her like my dashen! Might!
Actually i noe i've to b responsible for this situation & cannot b outside "judgin" her or "rejectin" her! Bt i really feel v disappointed!
Jus nw i told chongchong actually i dun tink things r e same nw! Tt day wen we sit down & eat lunch tgt as bongz, i also din feel very very happy like tt! Coz all i was thinkin of was hw dashen has changed! Bt tt time i thot only i felt tt way. Bt in e end! Entire office felt so!
我有点坏，i dun feel like talkin to dashen coz i tink is waste of time! I tink she wun listen! I also dunno whether m i hopin for her to choose to listen or not! I guess i jus strongly believe in tt she wun listen! so much to e extent tt i dun even pray/wish tt she will listen! & maybe my stance isn't to convince her ba!
Actually chongchong & my stance different! Chong2 jus wan her to b back to herself! I tink tt can only happen if she leaves cayden! Maybe i m framin e prob e way dashen did, or maybe i noe things well enuff tt she wun b able to b herself if she dun leave cayden! I also dunno!
Bt chong2 is right in many things & talkin to her really helped to broaden my perspective & see things in a different light! I pray i will never 栽进去 like dashen do! Or rather, i dun 栽 into such a r/s or sth of equivalent intensity! I wan a deep love! Bt need nt b so happenin & drama! Bt of coz i noe it's nt up to me! Bt hopefully i can stay sane & realistic!
Yep! & i guess another thing is i dun wan to convince dashen to give up! Or persuade her towards a direction! Coz i dun wan to make decisions for her! Bt even if i m a worker, i also haf to present e client w e better option right? Even if client is resistant! Yep! So i will nt persuade bt i mus really make her see it! & of coz w chongchong's guidin qn, i believe it will help! Jus tt i really dun tink i m capable enuff to uncover dashen's blind spots! & if i can't, i wun b able to convince her? Bt i dun care, i will jus try! & like wat chongchong said, if cannot, jus close eyes like she is doin! & i will do e same! I will go buy tt mineral water! Bt i tink xb will say i v mean if i go buy & dabongz probably will empathise w dashen a lot!
Bt i m pretty firm in wat i feel! Maybe it's coz i m jus too disappointed w dashen's change! I jus feel tt there is NO HOPE! Maybe i've my own issues in feelin so disappointed too! Like over-reacting & stuff! Bt dashen's change definitely exists & jus nw wen i was tryin to explain to chong2, den i realised i really haf strong eg to support! Heh!
Bt tt's it! Hehe! I m gg to slp! If dashen dun wan to fix appointment to talk...... No! I mus still push for a meetin! & after tt, i will close my eyes!
Bt really! I m judgin her to b nt worthy of help le! Oh man! Cannot! Wat haf i learnt in social work?!
& jus nw i jus applied my social work knowledge & perspectives so well!!! Hahahah!
Ya la! Bt unless dashen comes to me directly, if nt i will jus b like "diffusion of responsibility", let bongz help as a whole! I dun wan to work super hard to check on her le! Bt i dun tink she will wan to give up! So if she's nt givin up, i m hack-ing her! Hmm.
Tt time dabongz also din wan to give up, bt i could still stand by her! Why this time can't for dashen? Izzit coz dashen is workin against us? As in tt time dabongz jus couldn't let go, e r/s was jus over! Bt this time, e r/s isn't over yet? Bt nw i compare, e 2 of them really pretty alike! Why m i reactin differently? Izzit coz of e difference in their openess towards us? Hmm....
Haiya, dun care! See hw it goes! I can still channel energy for this one last try coz chongchong kind of "convince" me tt it's e last try! At least jus try b4 givin up!
Yep! If they r happy, i will still 祝福 them! If they aren't bt still wanna b tgt, i will ignore them! If they aren't & decide to b apart & dashen is unhappy/strugglin w break-up, i will support her thru it! Coz it's 长痛不如短痛！
I keep askin myself leh! Y m i so sure they wun haf happy endin tgt? Izzit coz i noe their character really almost impossible to 磨合？or izzit coz of wat i heard tt i tink cayden is too scary? Or izzit coz i wan to avoid this blind spot tt dashen is havin & which i used to haf wen i tried to be w her?
Bt anw! I m gg to slp! Tian a! Wasted entire day! Wat e shit m i doin? Slackin & textin non-stop! Put a stop to it kheng!! Work hard frm tmr onwards! Is wk 4 liao!
Tweet become blog! :p heheh!
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