:D ++

Hahah! Usin imh lang! ++ to indicate a lot a lot! :D heheheh!

Yay! Finished tuition! :D quite happily! Wanted to cab! Bt bus comin! & no cab! Hahah! Bt breezy breezy!! :D gg to b a coolin nite tonight! :D hehe! Yay!

& can blog my happy exp this morn liao! Hehe! Actually after kaiyi came over & we discussed everythin, i told her i wanted to see her! Den i asked if she's free! Den she said 10am! Den i said ok! :)

Den was so busy doin e recordin & social report for e case i saw yest, i passed 10am! Was thinkin a while more then go find kaiyi, den she called me at bout 1010 den we went to see case! Hehe! & on our way there, she asked me bout my injury! Hehh! Coz i was limpin! Coz frm office out, there got a step! Hehhe! & i limped down! Heheh!

Yeah.. Den we saw e case! Renewal! Still tink i'm v lousy! As in like jus askin for basic info! No rapport like tt! Like diao chan sheng shi! Bt heck lah! Haha! Shall talk bout tt ltr! Hehe!

Den saw 2nd case, epic max! Hehe! Realised i can co-manage actually! Coz kaiyi ask e qn, den i noe wat she is tryin to find out den if pt dun understand, i'll tink of other ways to ask! Hehe! Like she come out w e master plan, i tink of e technicalities! Hehe! Bt of coz i need some sample qn! Den i can improvise frm then! :p heheh! Yep!

Den we walked back! & i really did not noe wat services to get for e pt! Hee! Den she said "u really dunno? Go find out!" hahaha! Den i recalled a few & jus zham-ed! Hehe! Den she told me more! Hehe! Is like 抛砖引玉! I give one, kaiyi will give me e rest! :p hehe! Bt i said i'll go check it out! Hehe!

Yeah! Den she said she wanna go toilet, & said will meet me after tt! Hehe! So i went back first! & started to tink, hmm, wat shld i tell her! Or rather, hw shld i say it! Hehe! Coz it's like e previous time! & wat do i wan out of e discussion/supervision! Heh!

Yep! Den den she came back & asked me into e room! Hehe! Smart! Knew i needed e room! Hehe! I tink can tell i wun say certain things in an open concept place! Hehehe! & i requested to see her, meanin i din wan to talk there & then wen she came to find me hor? Hehe! Bt yep! Kaiyi spoke to me in e room! :) hehe!

Oh yah! Wen we were walkin back, she asked me bout e ppt! Hahaha! I did tink of wat i'll say if she asked me bout it! Coz i thot she will ask wat did i do for e 2 days she was nt ard! Hehehe!

Type in convo faster!
Kaiyi: so wat case did u present on?
Me: u guess?
Kaiyi: hahah! I guess?! Hw to guess?
Me: heheheheh! I presented on e * * case! (goodness! Yest i blurted out pt's name in class! Damn horrendous!)
Kaiyi: why u nv tell me?
Me: bt u also cannot help me.
Kaiyi: at least i can help to see see mah

Haha! Nt tt i tink kaiyi isn't competent enuff to help me, bt i scared she will say "tell me for? U wan me to help u w...?1" hahahah., yeah! & my own stuff, i shld do myself rite? Hahaha! See whether she wan help me vet thru my final report or nt! Hehehhe!

Yeah! & she started e session talkin bout e ppt! Hehe! So happy tt at least it started w a lightet note! Hehe! Den she asked me to present like i presented! Heheh! So i really told her wat's on every slide! Hehe!

After tt she asked me hw i would rate my own ppt! I again gave her e "er, nt v good? Okay lo?" remark! Hehe! She actully said "very good" b4 i said/after i said! Hehehe! She said quite clear, i had e genogram, & interventions v clear, theories was there & reflections quite reflective! Heheh! Wah! So happy! Morale booster! After tt i felt more confident bout showin huiwen my slides! Hehehe! Yeah! :D

Den she asked wat were e others' comments! Den i jus told her!

Den she did process w me hw i felt bout e doin enough part.. Like nw i feel more assured tt we really did enuff! Nt tt we're "suck into e culture"! It's bout e urgency of e case! Hehe! Yep! :D bt i've alr convinced myself tt i can let go wen i called e 1st sister of pt & i got tt response! :p hehe!

& kaiyi said she got tell me bout underlyin issue b4, den i said i dun rmb! :p heheh! Cannot lie mah! :p hahah! Bt i rmb e part where she said bout e presentin & underlyin emotion! Coz i was amazed tt e presentin/underlyin thingy applies to feelings also! So i got impression! Hehe!

Yep! :) den after tt she asked me why was i so unsure bout my ppt! Heeh! Den she shared usually wat they do for their case ppt! Bt she told me no std guidelines! Hehe! Yep! :

Den she asked me wat i wanted to see her bout! Hehe! Den i started w e gg to see pt w nicole alone part! Den i said till e part bout feelin incompetent den i got quite teary & i stopped myself frm sayin coz i knew my voice will break & my tears will drop shld i say any more word! So i linked to 2 wks ago tt incident! Bt even as i linked, e feelin was still there! Intiailly kaiyi seemed to tink tt i din say coz i dun dare say, den she probed "den..?" den she saw tt i was strugglin den she gave me time! Den there was this point wen she said "it's okay.." i believe she meant tt it was okay even if i cried! Yep! Bt i tried to hold back! Coz i really din tink it's tt serious! Actually yest after meetin yitong, my mood totally resumed to normal highness le! & this morn quite happy ah! Jus tt at tt point wen i was narratin, e tears & all tt came! I tink i looked super weak wen i looked at her, couldn't say any more word coz i was gg to cry if i said any more word! Den it's e u try nt to cry den u give an embarrassed smile kind of face! I tink i'm kinda weak sia! Bt i also rmb wat chongchong said bout cryin shows tt u trust e environment enuff! I din wan to make kaiyi tink tt i did nt trust her enuff! Bt of coz i din force myself to cry jus to make her feel tt i trust her! Hehe! I jus din force myself nt to cry, bt tried my best to hold back! Hehe! Yep! :)

& i managed to say out e whole thing! Hehe! Coz was tryin so hard to control e tears, i was lookin at e table & my fidgeting hand & fingers, so nt too sure if she was shocked tt i was so emotional! Heheh! Bt yep! I jus said wat i wanted to!

Den i did tell her tong told me i haf too high expectations.. Den after hearing, she said "umm! (nt in response to e high expectations bt on e whole, a way to acknowledge tt she heard me & is gg to process e whole thing w me?)" den she started w e procedure! Heeh! Always kaiyi's style, to solve e technicalities first! It worked this time! Coz she told me actually self-decl mus b done in front of e MSW. Bt she also said different workers haf different styles, den she told me hw she would haf handled e case.. Den she told me "no 10 upon 10 way"b she repeated e term twice! Hehe! Yep. I understand! & b4 she started processing, i managed this sentence w a little bit of difficulty: "i'm nt expectin to conduct a perfect interview, bt i can't even do a basic interview."

Yah! So after tt, i felt v much relieved! Den kaiyi's style, self-disclosure: i also forget at times! Like i jus realised i forgot to take payslip frm a pt! & e pt is uncontactable." den i went "umm., *nods*" this time round it is super effective! Coz nw i noe it really will happen! Even payslip so basic also will happen on kaiyi.. Hehe!

Den i got charp in halfway twice. Once to say "initially, i always forget bout e payslip.. Like e pt say wat den i'll take wat.. Bt den i reminded myself so nw i rmb liao.. Bt i'm forgettin sth else! :(" & "acrually also coz u said mus find out whether is unable or unwillin, bt i still forgot on e spot tt i shld find out frm e dg, i jus assumed *big sigh*• yah! Bt kaiyi was tryin v hard to tell me it's normal, as long as i dun do it 9 out of 10 times! Yep!

Den dunno whether was it here, she asked "better?" den i nodded! :)) hehe! Really better! :))

Den she asked wat i thot bout tong's comment tt i've too high expectations, i kinda switched e topic tho tt was sth i wanted to explore! I forgot wat i asked! Den we switched it to confidence! Kaiyi told me hw i look wen i'm nt confident! Hehe! Frown! Hahahahah! I'm aware of my expressions wen i'm in supervision, bt nt quite in sessions! Hehe! & she told me to sit up straight & open my chest & lean forward! Yep! I'll try tho this is a bit hard for me! Coz i realised i like to look non-aggressive! Bt she mentioned professionalism! So i'll do it no matter wat! Jus like hw i slowly picked up proper intro, takin notes, takin time to think, nt turning for help.... Yep! No time bt i'll start right frm tmr! Yep! :)

& she asked "questions?" den i said "not really.." den she v smart liao, she changed it to "thoughts?" den i said "i'm thinkin why i so not confident!" hahah! She tried to explain den she said "i dunno!" hahahaha! Den she asked "izzit e environment?" yah., den we explored a bit! Den i told her i v diff in sch & here, & v diff w this grp of imh interns! She asked "i thot marian & u v close?"* den i said "we in same clique" heh! Yep! Den she said she wants to encourage me to use tt confidence here! Hehe!

I've to change, force myself to change! Coz being able to look professional matters to me! & yep! Able to assert myself & nt let ppl "cheat" me! Kaiyi said tt it's ok to b incongruent in such situations! "In a positive way!" She added! Heheh! Yep! I jus dun like to b aggressive lah! :p hehe

& kaiyi linked this to personal growth! Yep! I would also tink tt confidence is a personal growth! She asked me if this lack of confidence is int or ext. i was like "meanin?" hahahaha! Damn chim! E first time i nt gettin her qn! Hehehe!

Den she asked if i knew why she asked tt qn. I tried. Den i asked "so why did u ask tt qn?" den she said she was thinkin bout e being cheated by pt part! Hehe!

Yeah! & frm e personal growth, she said "2 months is too short for significant personal growth, bt..." forgot wat she said! Hehe! Den she asked "honestly/seriously, do u feel urself improvin?" den i said yah! Den she asked "really?" den i said "yah!" hehe! Of coz i'm! I really haf changed a lot! I jus din say out e point tt i started real lousy! Haha! & i'm learnin a lot!! I tink kaiyi will b stunned wen she sees my card! Hahaha! I really hope i get to see her nxt wed for one last time! I wan to thank her personally! Hehehe! Yeah!

& forgot wat else we discussed! Hehe! Den she looked at e time den i looked also! & tried to cut short! I dun tink she was signallin to me! Maybe she was? Hahaha! Bt dun tink so, at least she was v genuine during e processing! Hehehh!

Yeah! Den we fixed e evaluation date! She said nxt mon, den i said "ok!" she said coz she 2 days MC, alot to catch up! Den i nodded to show tt i understood! Yes! I really do! Heheh!

Den i was thinkin whether to say or nt, bt i wanted to say! Hehe! Den she was about to stand up. Den i said "i still haf sth else!" den she immediately sit down & say "yes! Wat? :)" hahaha! Den i said "hehe. Actually nth lah.. Jus tt yest i went w Ginn to see a case, den at a point, i forgot wat i needed to ask again, den i was v tempted to turn to Ginn for help. Bt i stopped myself, so i turned to e comp instead, & i saw e thing i wanted to ask! *grins*" heheeh! & she smiled so nurturingly "izzit? :) very good! :))" hahaah! Den i said "yah! So it wasn't tt bad! :p" heheheheh! Yah!

Den she asked wat ginn said, den i said "no time.. Coz e case came at 520!" hehe! Yep! Den we jus "umm" after each other. Den i said "tt's all! :D" i din wan to hold her up anymore! :p heheheh! Yah! I was v pleased w e supervision session le! :D hehehehehh!

& oh yah! After she said she has a lot of things to catch up, she said "oh yah, this fri i spoke to cheryl bout it. nvm i'll do it!" den i did e ":D hehehehe! Yay!!!!!" look & said "okay!" super excitedly! Hahahahah! Den she gave e "tsk tsk, i knew it" face! Hahahah! Really mah! :p hahahah! I din tell her bout e joke we cracked at lunch on monday lo.. Hahah! They were sayin so weird tt i'm facilitating a debrief where i need to give my own feedback also! Hahahah! Julia said "later she haf to ask like herself to give feedback also!" den i said "so i'll start e session. Hmm. So does anyone wan to start? How bout kheng hwee, Do u wanna start first?" hahahah! I thot it was quite lame & e rest all burst out laughin! Hahahahahah! It's really quite funny! Hahahaahah!

Yah! Bt i'll support support kaiyi on fri! :D heheheh! Bt e rest will b proactive de! I believe! :) hehe!

Bt it was really cool & nice! Today thruout e day kaiyi also super nice! Asked bout my leg, smiled at me, & wen i went to her for e longstay & cases, she smiled v nicely, was v patient, praised me, joked w me! Hahahah! Wah! Today really mus brand it up! Hahahah! Yep! & wen clement asked me to go room 10 tgt to b runner, she asked "her leg like tt, can or not?" bt clement din wan to let me do triagin! Hehehe!

Den wen we went out & she checked on my leg, she asked "mus rest den will recover right?" den i said "yah! :)" den she said "den ltr u gg to walk ard, hw can?" den i said "hehe! Can lah! :)) it's ok! :))" hehehe! & she went room 10 den durin free time, she told michael tt i bai ka & they wan me be runner. Den michael said "cannot lah.. Let her do triagin!" hahahah!

Wah! Really leh! Kaiyi is super nice today! Heheh! Miracle! :)) hehehe! I tink my self-disclosure did facilitate? Heheheh! I tink i went to her too late! In terms of askin for supervision! Hehe! Bt earlier on, perhaps there wasn't any strikin issue? Hehe! Or maybe haf, bt got brushed aside by nw liao! :p hehe! Yah! Bt these few wks quite good! Started w e grp work one. Den e one on e case w kim yoong! & today on e case yest w nicole! Hehe!

Tmr lunch, fri grp sup & mon evaluation! & hopefully hopefully *cross fingers & pray hard* can get a final supervision! Heheheh! Yeah! & i'll ask kaiyi to bring me go see case nxt wk also! Hahahah! I jus die die also dun wan to fang guo her! Hehehe! & nw ginn bringin me also!! :D heheh! Today she forgot or she din haf case? Hehe! Tmr go early & peek at schedule! Kaiyi hasn't printed hers out yet i tink! Hehehe! Yep! Hopefully i'll finish e longstay reports & ginn's files b4 i leave! :) hehe! & also hui en's side! Really mus thank her properly! Quite at ease wen i'm w her! :D hehehe!

Yeah! :D Really a happy ++ day! :D

Oh yah! Hehe! Kaiyi asked me if i'm comin back to social work!
Me: yes!
Kaiyi: to where? Here?
Me: hehe! I thinkin, bt really v far!"
Kaiyi: yah! Really v far
Me; yah!
Kaiyi: travel lo! Or move house!
Me: har, cannot..
Kaiyi: yah! E o jurong colleagues also like tt(she asked me wat time i wake up! Heh)
Me: umm..
Kaiyi: it's a pity
Me; har? (i din hear her!)
Kaiyi; it's a pity tt u stay so far..
Kaiyi also asked which sector i wan to go, i said this..
Kaiyi: hospital? Msw?
Me: yah, or psychiatric
Kaiyi: o hosp also haf psych
Me; bt it depends on whether u get e portfolio or nt..
Kaiyi: true! Bt here is sure get! *hehe* Jus see which age grp u workin w!
Me: yah!

Hehe! Nt sure whether kaiyi is say ke tao hua or she really wants me to come back! Hahahah! I din wan to appear desperate - in case ltr she think "wah lao, so lousy still wan to come back" or "wah, she really so attached to this place" hahahah! In case! E worst OS always runs thru my head! :p heeh! Bt at e same
Time i wan to tell her so much tt she really influenced & impacted me a lot!! & i really love e work at IMH! & it's really damn cool! Hehehe!

Yah! Actually come to tink of it, i'm workin in IMH leh! It's like a feared by most ppl place? Hahah! I work there! Hahahaha!

Yep! I only noe sun dun disturb me! Will b make cards to kaiyi & hui en day! May make sth for weiping! Heheh! & see if got time to bake cookies! Hehehe! Maybe tmr or fri go snoop ard brandon's table & ask him wat kaiyi likes! Heheh! I like so lousy, need to ask! Hahah! Bt ask better then anyhow whack mah! I really dunno wat to whack! Seriously! Hahahah!

Ok! Late liao! Time to sleep! Really happy today! Tho coz of kaiyi's MC & i missed out 2 days of interaction w her, today is simply awesome! :D hehehe!

Kk! Tmr can plan in more outpatient observations/try outs? Hehehe! Yay! :D

Kheng! ;)