:D

Hehe! Yay! Tuition cancelled! Hahahahah! Goodness! Happy until like tt! :p hehe! Nt tt i'm feelin a lot of resistance bout gg tuition, bt cancel still makes me feel good! :p heheheheh! Slacker max! Hahah! Bt will make up on tues luh! :)) hehe! Coz nt i cancel mah, is tutee cancel! :p

K lah, & maybe there is this small small part in me tt dun wan to go & face e "indirect conflict" yest? Hahahaha! Bt heck lah! Hehe! I've jus been shown tt there is this possibility tt it's a "somatic compaint"! Hehehe! So i'll nt b mean to him! Hehe! I've alr reflected yest & however tough tt feelin is, i've recognised my prob & is willin to work on it! Heheh! Yeah! So i still m proud of myself! :p hehe! Recognisin my own strengths! Hehe!

Yah! Jus hope to b improving & improving! To become a better person! To b someone i myself am proud of! :D hehehh!

Yep! Listenin to speed's "april" as i climbed e overhead bridge at west mall, & in e chilly weather.. Haf this 悲悲 feelin as i tink of separation! Hehe!

Coz jus nw was notin down my tuition dates w jieying. Typed 14.06 den realised is 14.07 le! Den thot of hw much i dreaded e 11.07 date! Hehe! Wah, time really flies! Start of placement, e process, dreadin ending & ended, handlin separation & all tt all tt.. Wow!

Actually only 3 days leh, since wed. Feel tt i've been experiencing so much for e past 3 days! Hheheh! Lol!!!

Bt wait, anw, left tuition w jieying quite happily! Coz she understood! & b4 i left & asked if she understood & can do, she nodded her head & said shld b can! Bt w tt little bit of confidence i've nv seen! Hahahah! Feel quite accomplished & happy! Hehe! Mus churn out a revision plan for her le! I promised her after placement, i'll find exam papers for her! Cannot let her down/short-change her! Same for my other tutees!! Yep! B commited kheng!! :))

Yeah! Hehe! These past 3 days haf been really been exciting! Heheh! Yest saw kaiyi's fb, hehe, other than e connected feeling, also had e omg, this is e full kaiyi. Haha! Her religion, her hd & son! Heheh! & saw quite a no of her photos wen she was younger? Haha! Youthful & playful! Heheheh! Totally different frm e picture i've of her! Heeh! She is cheeky at work too, bt wen we r tgt, it's different! She is like this perfect, ideal role model kind! Supervisor, my guiding role model kind.. Heheheh! & wen i was readin e e-card frm her, same! Hehehe! Like there is this mentor who appreciates all my effort, sees my effort & potential & here encouragin me! Heheh! Tt's why i cried wen i read her card! Coz i saw all e encouragement! & it's e i've been tryin so hard this placement, facin so many blows & "defeats" & all tt haf been experienced, it's being seen by someone who understands, been thru it & is encouragin me on! Heheh! Tt's e feelin i got lah! Hahaha! & actually i also dunno why i had such low confidence & took it so hard on myself, quite a no of incidences wen i faced e "defeat" feelin! Heheheh! Yeah! Bt it's ok, coz i tink i emerge stronger! W e help of my sup of coz! Heheheh!

Yep! & so there was this feelin after seein kaiyi's fb tt actually e gap between us is so big! Hehe! As in she is so nt herself wen she is w me! Hahahah! & i'm like makin her so old by seein her as this experienced sup who can guide me thru everythin & stuff! Hehe! Yeah! So there was this feelin tt we'll nv b able to generate & keep up a personal r/s! Heheheh! Even if i go back to work at IMH in future! Heheheh! Yeah! This is wat i've been hopin for all these while actually! Hehehe!

Yeah! So it's e havin to 放手 feeling tt i tink i felt quite sad bout! Heheheh! Yeah! & jus e "aiyah, actually she is nt tt concerned bout being e inspiration for me! She has other roles & other more impt roles to play" kind of realisation! Hehehe! Bt i guess it's ok, 难得 i find some inspiration! Heheheh! Jus keep on w it! Anw i knew we wun b meetin or in (much) contact wen placement ended le, so nth to really b pining for also! Hehehe! Yeah!

So in short, there was this "connection is lost" kind of feelin after seein e fb! Heheh! Or rather, jus e facin e reality tt we wun b in much contact kind of thingy! Heheh! Bt it's ok! Coz i'm gg to hold on to all e inspiration tt kaiyi has brought me & use them to push myself forward in life! :D heheh!

I tink i sound quite scary! Hahaha! Like hw on earth did i manage to get so attached to my sup who din even like talk much to me outside supervisions/cases! Hahaha! Yeah! Bt i tink i jus like e feelin of being under someone's wings & e feelin of being protected/looked after/accounted for! Heheh! Quite happy wenever she says "my student"! Hahahah! Yeah!

Which points towards my need for security! I tink i really need someone to confide in, someone who is able to give me a lot of time! Hehe! & somwone whom i wun feel bad "burdening"! Hehehe! Tong is far too busy! Hehe! & i can only tink of pau & pingping! Heeh! Dabong needs to b face to face de! Hehe! Yeah! Bt none of these ppl r ones whom i can dun feel bad bout unloadin on them! Yep! & i tink my need for a listenin ear has increased to this extent whereby only a blog can satisfy me? Heheheh! Coz i can go on & on & on! :p hehhe! Yeah!

Bt yep! Hehe! Ok lah! Go back eat & stone! Maybe read thru my reflections & see where r e points kaiyi identified tt she wrote in my evaluation! I'm really curious to noe where she found me usin my theories! :p heheh! Other than me writin down all e theories learnt during trgs! Heheh! Yeah!

& even tho e connection is a little lost, coz goodness, her fb is so nt regularly updated! Hehe! I still feel e desire in me in wantin to make my life a better one - a more fruitful & meaningful one! Hehe! So e influence & impact left behind kaiyi is gg to stay w me! Hehehe! I hope! :D i hope i dun get sucked into e slack culture again! :p

Goodness! Nearly fell! So embarassin! Ppl sure thinkin curse of technology! Coz i'm tappin & tappin my iphone - non-stop! Heheh! Bt heck! :p

Hehe! Wonderin if i'll b doin my IMH book! It's so gg to b super excitin! Hehehhe!

Yeah! :D i jus wan to say i'm nt a sicko! Hehe! Always concerned if someday someone sees my blog, they'll b like shocked out of their lives/asses! Hahaha! Yeah! Bt yep! :))

Kheng.
Feelin nw? Pretty neutral! Hehe! Nth much! Nt particularly happy or upset! Hehe! Coz I've things to do - like assn! & i've time also - like 2 wks! Hehe! & i've things tt i shld b doin - like gettin my leg treated, & things tt i wan to b doin - like slimmin down! :p hehehe! Yeah! :))