Rahh! Angry! Bt reflect!

Actually quite angry! Was complainin to nelle bout my tutee! Den she said tt i've to noe my role! Tt i'm being paid to b a tuition teacher!

Tho i really sibei bs, bt i've to agree tt she is right lah. Tt if i fierce my tutee, he will end up hatin e subject den he also wun learn! & she is right, i fierce him once, i'll fierce him again!

I jus super bs tt she is sayin me tt way! Coz she also always scold her students! Jus feel tt she isn't a good enuff eg to be commentin & teachin me!

Bt i also noe, i've to b open to feedback! So i'm acceptin tt feedback! & i'll make sure i watch my behaviour tmr in front of my tutee!

Jus tt my face is jus black nw! & i really dun feel like admittin "defeat"! & i also a little upset, i jus wan to rant, den end up being "corrected"! Upset coz i'm always listenin, bt i dun get listened to. & also upset coz i got corrected. Bt also good, at least nw we dun haf to talk, & i can do sth on my own! Sometimes jus feel quite tired coz always listening. Sometimes it's jus simple appeals for ppl to hear me out.. Bt dun like it wen listenin is conditional. Like wen i talk, i've to b considerate bout air-time.. Cannot b selfish & rantin non-stop. Bt why is it tt others r doin this to me? Even if i show tt i'm nt interested, they'll still go on & on. Den it's up to me whether i wan to jus b thick-skinned & rant or nt rite?

Bt no, it shldn't b like this! If ppl nt interested, i really cannot bring myself to do it! Which is why tho i wan to talk so much bout my placement, bout my sup & bout everythin else, if ppl not interested, i nv even say.

Yep! & i also noe rite, ppl do this doesn't mean i've to do e same! M i feelin 心里不平衡？ i dun tink so also lah, i dun haf tt revengful thot - 以牙还牙 feel, dun haf. Jus v sick/tired at times! I'm really sick of havin to b listenin all e time! At work it's differnt i guess, coz it's nt supposed to b jus listenin! I can practise my skills & i've to b using my skills & doin sth.. It's nt e same! Nt jus lettin ppl rant like this.. Den i shld try using my skills on my sis rite, since she is always ranting? Shld reframe hw i view this using of skills thingy..

I'm jus bs, i'm nt like angry & tryin to vent my frustrations or anythin.. I'm nt havin e "who talk who lose face more" mentality. Bt i'm really quite angry. I stated e 2 reason. I noe one of them nt really justified. Bt i'm really quite angry.. Feedback is painful, if she really mean well for me, den she has to give me time to take tt feedback in slowly also rite? Bt rahh, i dun wan ppl to b makin concessions for me. I'll nt gve a black face. Bt my mood really nt good. Jus pekchek & pissed off.

Sian!

Actually it's only at work tt i'm so open to feedback! Coz i see kaiyi as someone whom i shld learn frm. She is a role model to me.. Bt yep, since this morn i alr reflected tt i'm nt tt open to feedback frm others, i shld do sth bout it! Like wat kaiyi said, wat do i wan to do w my reflections? Being able to reflect is good, bt it's nt enuff. Okay! Be mature! Bt i still v bs.

Kheng.